Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Noddy - don't ever leave A2K for fear of venting too much. We're here to vent, ourselves; it's an important outlet. I certainly wouldn't want to do without it.

Vent, scream, rage - we'll listen and you'll get things off your chest and we hope everyone will feel a bit better.

TomKitten--

Thank you.

Although you might invest in ear plugs or eye shades. I can see a year of hootin' and hollerin' ahead.

JPB got it just right, as usual. We are concerned and are telling you about it, but that doesn't mean that anyone here thinks you vent too much or that we feel that you aren't coping as well as you should.

Your stress is coming through a little more clearly and that is a worry. You have to know, after reading it in so many posts, that we admire your strength and spirit, but even Noddy's dominion slips every now and then.

We care very deeply for you and hope to hear much more venting and rage as the year progresses. Let it out, dear Noddy, while holding on to your dominion.

Mr. Noddy sounds like he took lessons in stubbornness from the same book my dad got his from.

I'm learning more about my dad and my own reactions to him via your venting.

I'm glad you are also taking care of yourself, Noddy. If I lived near you, I'd volunteer to give you a day of freedom now and then, as needed.

And I get N's discernment, not to sound so smart..

Noddy surely understands the layers of dementia. She has to deal every damn minute, and also knows this is all a start. Talk about a load.

Noddy also sticks to promises. I'm not sure she is all so right on all of it, but a) none of my beeswax, and b) listening

I too want Noddy to get inhome help, but exactly when? - and I'm not going to push past that post, whenever I posted it.. at least right now. I might be wrong, as I think Noddy needs help right now.

I'll argue with you, Noddy, re Mr. Noddy's ego re someone else in the home at this time, as a part time helper.

But, I didn't argue in our posts on that. I do respect your view.



There will come a time when you will need to get help. Whether or not you go for it now or ever, I'd like to see you find the resources, or we can help, just to have the resources be there on the desk.

Cut it out! You are not "using" us. We are here for you. We're your friends. Many of us have gone through similar things, and hopefully, our experiences will help make your situation more bearable.

Stress is like a pressure cooker. If you don't let out some steam, eventually the pot will go BOOM!

We love you Noddy. I know that personally you have been there for me on many, many occasions. Often, when I was feeling very low, your "hold your dominion" were just the words that I needed to snap me out of it.

You have given so much to so many people. Now it is your turn to allow us to give to you!

Aunt won't leave the psychiatric hopsital the next couple of weeks, the ward doctor told me this morning.

well at least you know she is being cared for and is safe and warm and ....maybe not happy but who is?



I'm coming to the conclusion that anyone over 60, and maybe a lot over 50 should be shot. Its easier.

ok I know i'm going to get in trouble for that post but.....


we all are going to die


we live so long these days that the body falls to bits around us.


In the past when we were all running away from dinosaurs at least the dionsaurs were happy.

yet again not serious....jeez do I have to spell that out?

happy new year to all who read Steve41oo drivel.

I'm going to be entirely selfish and say that I want Noddy to make sure she has some alternate resources lined up before this comes into play.

(and in between and all around, to continue to come here to vent and shout and hoot and holler)

Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
I have just been through another step in the interminable tidying up, so to speak, after a death. An appraisal of Bob's estate had to be made. Actually, he left nothing personal except his watch and his wedding ring, and even the watch was barely personal somewhere along the line his old watch disappeared in some ER or other, so at his request, I got him a new one, a Timex that lit up, just like the old one. By that time he hardly knew he was wearing a watch at all. Everything else in the apartment was joint. We had both had apartments full of our own things when we married, and kept them; then some of my mother's things were added when she died, many years ago.

So, it turned out, as the lawyer had thought, that everything was considered joint. This appraisal is a legal requirement, but the government isn't going to get much information out of it, certainly no tax money.

Anyway, the appraiser was quiet and polite, and very quick, so I got through it pretty well. Maybe these things are useful, in a way, in taking the mind off. I had to answer questions and keep myself together - it's amazing how much the thought of breaking down in front of a stranger can provide the necessary glue.

Thank all of you, so much.

Long, long day. I'm too tired to do a proper thanks--or a proper vent. Having a good hollering time yesterday was an enormous help.

Again, thank all of you.

Sleep well, Ms. Noddy. We all love you.

The grim details of yesterday are fading into the past. On the plus side, Mr. Noddy carried 80 pounds of birdseed (in two forty pound bags) out of the car and over to the feeding stations.

His "teatime" menu yesterday: Three cups of commercial cheese popcorn. Two cups of potato chips. Half a cup of out-of-season cherries. Four pickled baby carrots. Eight Mexican hats.

He wonders why he is gaining weight.

Well, I mean that really is easy to get - but I wonder, how chocolate, cookies, nuts, cake etc can add to my weight as Mrs Walter always says. :wink:

Surprisingly (especially for all in the new home, who know from her last stay as well as for the nurses in the ambulant service) mother is still doing fine.

She got her motor-driven-tv-chair today, from her house.
I'd thought, it would get complicted (memories brought back and such): nothing at all.

Tomorrow, sge'll be visited by a social worker from the county - he has to make an expertise for court as well. (Well, I know him quite well: he's been a student apprentice when I worked in prison and later a colleague in the county's junevile department.)

Aunt: they're now thinking, she might leave the hospital in perhaps ten days and stay in the home "by way of trial".
I could imagine that it works well ...

Walter--

So far, so good....but I sense you're waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Dear People--

I read over your statements of support and basked in your love. Thank you again.

Diane--

I would like to get into the Big City, but my schedule depends on the schedules of friends. My usual hostess is in Afghanistan and her apartment is housing two Afghan refugees and a baby who was nearly three months premature.

There are some other possibilities.

TomKitten--

Official Details are so out of key with life and death. At least the appraisal is past.

Osso--

Believe me, I'm making long-range plans--also short range. Martyrdom is not my metier.

Walter--

I'm a cold, unfeeling woman. I will not fix little plates of wholesome snacks and air mail them to Germany. So there.

Thank you, Noddy :wink:

The social worker had interviewed mother today - it was really quite funny, since she tried to conter his questions the same way

Afterwards, she felt a bit uncomfortable, it seemed, didn't really know what had happened.

But only for a few seconds.


Oh, and over the weekend she had "lost" her camel hair.
Most probably she wanted to go out or visiting someone and left it somewhere. And if the coat is another persons persons room (we've looked over all possible and impossible other places already) ...

Puzzling even more: where and how did she "loose" her (outdoor) shoes?

Walter--

Are her belongings marked?

I'm not sure about Germany, but in the States many nursing home employees supplement low salaries with a little sticky-fingered enterprise.