As an outsider, I think your mother is covering all her bases, physical and emotional.
Still, she couldn't reach you on the edge of Tampa Bay--unless you'd like to credit her for the sunburn?
Better to pay for sunscreen than for visits to a shrink.
Much better.
Take heart. I think your mother may be practicing to bully the staff and guests at her new Assisted Living quarters. She'll have less time to assert herself with you.
Oops.
The link doesn't work, but thanks to Drew Dad, the cartoon is posted here:
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1283434#1283434
Sometimes One Size Fits All.
My mother-in-law (aged 91) has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. Only in the early stages but today she forgot my daughter's name.
She's in sheltered accommodation but I wonder for how much longer.
It's so sad.
Tarah--
Perhaps her body will not long outlive her brain. Alzeheimer's is a cruel disease--for the victim and for loved ones and bystanders.
That's exactly what we're hoping, Noddy. I hope that doesn't make me sound heartless though.
The psychologist is going to see her Tuesday morning and I'll be there.
The last time she had an appointment, I asked my m-i-l what time and she said 3 pm. Needless to say, she'd got the time muddled and I missed her.
I'm wiser now and rang the hospital for confirmation.
When diseases attack the minds of those you love, you do much of your mourning before death--when you're not rechecking appointment times and repeating facts of life over and over with great patience.
Repeating with lesser patience is sometimes also acceptable.
Hold your dominion.
If I were to be truthful, I've never really got on with her. Naturally I've always been polite and respectful, but I've never enjoyed her company. However, now her personality has changed and she's much nicer - certainly less dominant.
So at least that's a positive aspect.
I've not had this before as my parents both died suddenly as did my father-in-law. So it's our first experience of dimentia.
Husb has one brother who has Parkinsons so we're pretty much on our own. Thank you for this thread, I can see it's going to help.
tarah--
Welcome! Feel free to vent and sputter here.
Does your mother-in-law accept the diagnosis?
Noddy, I don't know about accepting the diagnosis .... I'm not even sure she remembers it!!
I didn't see her yesterday (there was the A2K meeting in London) but husb said she was the worst he's seen her. I'll see for myself tomorrow morning with the psychologist.
Tarah--
Is she living with you?
Under the circumstances you're lucky that she's turned sweeter. I've heard far more stories about the elderly deprived of memory and reasoning ability and common civility.
Let us know how the appointment goes.
Noddy, she lives in sheltered accommodation about 5 minutes away from here. Her sister-in-law lives there and she has quite a few friends.
She's very depressed though and we're wondering how much longer she can live there. A carer goes in every morning to help her shower and dress and we do her shopping for her.
I'll talk to the psychologist in the morning and I'm really grateful that you care, Noddy. Thank you.
Tarah--
Hold your dominion.
Noddy, you won't believe this.
She was seen by a psychologist who had to do a series of tests and then report back to the psychiatrist who would prescribe pills which would stop the Alzheimers getting worse. Won't make her better, but at least no worse.
The psychologist arrived with a trainee and explained at length to m-i-l (I'll call her Mary) that it was up to Mary and they would go if she wanted them to. Every other minute she said "you seem upset, do you want me to go?"
I suggested they just got on with it but was basically told it was nothing to do with me.
One test was having to give words beginning with F that weren't proper names or places. Believe me, Noddy, by that stage I nearly gave her an F word of my own!
So with half an hour to go psychologist said "you seem upset. Would you rather we went?" Mary said "I think so" and so they left, telling me to make another appointment.
It could be a couple of months by which time Mary will possibly be worse and we have to go through this charade again.
So much for the wonderful UK NHS!
Tarah wrote:
So much for the wonderful UK NHS!
I suppose, Tarah, similar will be done elsewhere, too - at least, it's a common procedure. (As far as I know from own experiences here and from literature.)
Hi Walter
Of course Mary wasn't happy answering questions but she wasn't distressed either. And this psychologist could have finished the session without any problem. I bet if she'd been paid by results she wouldn't have left half way through.
Mary at one time asked "Do you think I'm round the bend?" The answer she was given? "I don't know until I finish asking you the questions"
How charming is that!!!!!!!!!!!
Tarah--
You have my sincere sympathy. This afternoon I had an OTC scan on my eyes, administered by a rooky technician. Nothing--absolutely nothing--is more exasperating than learn-on-the-job medicine.
Is it possible that your NH psychologist was trying to establish a base line for Mary 5/3/05 and that next month she'll either be able to come up with more--or fewer--"f" words?
Maddening! Your m-i-l is probably of a generation that expects the white coats to be in charge and the "you have a full voice in the proceedings" is probably unsettling.
Hold your dominion.
If and when we get another appointment, I'll keep you posted, Noddy.
And thanks again for caring.
), she would have me headed for the looney bin. 