Noddy24- What steps have you taken in case Mr. N's decline renders him incapable of making decisions? Does he have a living will? A durable power of attorney that names you?
It important to deal with this stuff, difficult as it may be, BEFORE he reaches the point where he is unable to handle things himself.
I am glad that he finally recognizes that something is going on with him.
Keep your chin up. We are here for you!
Phoenix--
Not to worry. Mr. Noddy's father died with his affairs all of a woeful tangle. I started nagging and within a year we had wills, living wills, durable powers of attorney, clear statements of wishes of what should be done with our bodies, what little keepsakes go to which son.
Ironically, managing his death may be easier than managing the rest of his life.
Noddy, I'm so sorry to hear that you and your husband are having to go through this. Life isn't fair, dammit.
Is it Alzheimer's?
M.I.D.--Multi Infract Dementia--a series of small strokes that's been going on for at least six years. The symptoms are like Alzheimer's.
Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. Are the small strokes expected to continue? Is this progressive?
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, but this is the first time I've heard of M.I.D.
Yes, the strokes will continue sometimes removing two or three brain cells, sometimes twenty or thirty, sometimes two or three hundred....
Each stroke takes a bit of rationality.
Very true. Five or six years ago a small stroke took out that part of Mr. Noddy's brain devoted to bedmaking. He stood there holding a corner of a flannel sheet with no clear idea what to do next.
How do you deal with things like taking the car keys, bank/credi cards, or other things they may be opposed to?
My Dad realizes "his strokes have affected him", but is in denial to the degree.
He does ok as long as MOM is there, but every now & then she needs a break and he pouts like a child if she leaves him (even when someone else is there, me included) for more than 20-30 minutes.
She went to the Dr. Office and he said she was gone too long. He is very FEARFUL. When she was sick he had me do all kinds of silly chores, because he was convinced it was dust causing it (She had cataract surgery) so I had to wash down all the paneling in the house, etc. Sometimes it gets too much. Only Child so there is no help.
One of my fears is that they are TOO isololated. All their friends are dead or incapacitated. No More Hobbies (Hunting/Fishing). Mom does not even go to Church anymore. Suggestions Welcome. This is a good thread, I've already learned alot and am goin to go back and re-read some of the posts.
duce, Give this link a try. You might find something offered through your state or Medicaid. Good luck.
http://www.medicaid.state.al.us/ABOUT/history.htm
But, they're illegal in the US. Cannabis, I mean.
Hi folks.
My mother passed away last monday night, at her home.
She had been able to recover about 80% of her capacities, after the brain stroke on May 2003, but she had another big one ten days before her death. I'm glad it wasn't a long agony.
I feel right now as if I just came back from a very very long and tiring trip.
I did not realize the weight of the burden.
I thank everyone on this thread who helped me during the toughest moments of my mother's illness. Noddy, Phoenix, dyslexia, Jespah, Walter and others I cannot remember at the moment.
Thank you, deep in the heart.
My condolences, fbaezer.
In many talks I've learnt that nearly everyone in such a situation feels the same, but only very few realise the burden before.
I'm glad that your mother didn't have to suffer too long.
fbaezer- My thoughts and good wishes are with you. I too am glad that she did not suffer too long.
fbaezer--
I'm glad you and your mother weren't subjected to a long, long lingering without dignity. You will be in my thoughts.
Hold your dominion.
What you say is important, Noddy.
Dignity.
Hold your dominion too, friend.
Oh Fbaezer - my thoughts are with you.
((((((((((((fbaezer)))))))))))
'Tis so hard when one loses a parent....
Ah, Fbaezer, as I watched the news about Terry Schiavo, I am just so happy that your mother was allowed to leave earth without interference from a very strange government. As I have often said, my mother didn't die, she just quit living.
Peace, my friend.
Noddy, after the first big stroke, my mom said she didn't want to go back to the hospital, ever. No tubes, no plasma. She had all the medicines she needed and some tenderness. Prolonging an agony is senseless and not humane. We didn't prolongue hers.
Peace to you (and thanks, everyone).
