Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Phoenix--

Can a Good Jewish Girl carry a cross? You may be making ecumencial history.

Hold your dominion.

Thanks, Noddy. I really needed that laugh right now!

Phoenix--

Go whole hog.

Get her picture taken with a cartoon of Mohammad. There will be enough excitement in her neighborhood that she won't miss the ER one bit.

Noddy- Have you seen those cartoons? (I posted them on another thread). In terms of political correctness, they leave something to be desired, but considering the stuff that I have read lately, they are nothing to blow up buildings about.

Some people just can't take a joke!

Phoenix--

I very much doubt that the rioting Muslims are either led or inspired by Islamic scholars.

I'm reminded of the mindless violence of British soccer hooligans: I destroy, therefore I am.

A certain amount of sophistication is necessary for a sense of humor.

Odd, isn't it, that Allah can't take care of himself?

Ok so I guess we can all except the fact that it's a battle we are going to loose now. & move on.
We will all still have to go threw it. So how about some info to do so.

Forgive me for not searching this place correctly. I'm looking for URLs to gain knowledge about. gov.aid requirements for health care and estate laws. I went to a retirement home today and I can't do that to my mother yet.

I still see it as if it wasn't for my parents I would not exist. My dept is my life. But I agree there will come a time when I won't have the salt to meet my obligation. It is deeply troubling to say the least.

My situation: 81 yr old mama living with us. Wife can't take much more. I bought the lot next door & plan to build a place for her on it. Now it looks like the wife wont be able to make it long enough for me to save up the money to build it. If all you have is a pat on the back save it for someone else.

Sorry about that folks. Looks like I was reading the first page & not the last page. I would hope after this many pages the subject would change to something lighter.

Earlofcrankcase--

Welcome to A2K.

This long-running thread is more for kvetching and coping than information on Government Health Care and Estate Laws.

Why not pose your questions in a new thread?

You and your wife--and your mother--all have my sympathy, useless as it is. Believe me, I've thought occasionally about the Common Sense Eskimo custom of setting the elderly and afflicted adrift on an ice floe.

Good luck.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.


Some senility creeps up. Some ratchets up. Some gallops.

Whatever the pace, senility takes so damn much of my time. Explaining. Reminding. Re-explaining. Overlooking. Doing it myself.

In recompense? Long rationales of denial. Generous re-assignments of blame. Acres and acres of screaming boredom.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

{{Noddy}}

My dear, do you have any help? Is there someone who can take over while you to take some time for yourself?

Swimpy--

Mr. Noddy is still mobile, but fading fast. All of the waffling and evasions are attempts to cover up his decreasing mental agility.

I'm hoping to get away for a few days in August--or my son may come for a visit.

Meanwhile, bitching does a power of good.

Guard your dominion.

Swimpy--

Many thanks. Mr. Noddy went off to Cardio Rehab (second tour) and I had three hours All Alone. Bliss. Pure Bliss.

Noddy- I really feel for you. It is very difficult to see someone for whom you care slide the slippery slope of mental decline.

With my mom, there is a part of me that wants to shake her, "MOM, I just told you that, five minutes ago". Then I pull myself upright, and realize that she can't help herself. But then I end up feeling guilty for being such a bitch!

It is great that you can get out. Do it as much as you can, while Mr. N. is still able to be on his own. For the future, you might want to check into some respite programs. Some assisted living facilities have provisions for taking people on a short term basis, so that the caregivers can have a modicum of relief, once in awhile.

Tomorrow is the date when my grandfather celebrated his saint's day and so did I as a child (same surname).

We didn't do so since 30, 40 years - besides saying -traditionally- "Happy saint's day".

Since three days, my mother's asks me if I wanted to go to an restaurant, what I wanted as present, if she should order some meals ... ten times today within 60 minutes.

Due to the hot weather, my aunt and she can't go out, she can't walk momentarily longer, doesn't feel good ... name it.

Of course I know that just wants to thank me, but this noon I became a bit louder

Noddy, I agree with Phoenix. As things progress it will become extremely important for you to get some personal time. Are there adult day care options in your area?

Phoenix and Walter, you are both doing wonderful things for your mother's. Don't feel guilty for being human.

Thanks, all. In spite of the drizzle, today is a bit better than yesterday. Mr. Noddy realizes he was way out of line in the Blame Game.

There are days on end when Mr. Noddy doesn't even admit to the occasional Senior Moment. When something is mislaid, it's my fault.

Then there are days when he remembers that his father was pretty well gaga for five years before he died and the memory precipitates great gloom.

At either extreme I'm painfully aware of an erosion of companionship.

Sometimes I'm very grateful that he's a long-term diabetic. His body won't outlast his brain for years and years.

My dad died about a year ago after a long battle with Alzheimer's and Leukemia. Some months before he died I had to remove him from assisted living and put him in a nursing home. At the same time my girlfriend passed away suddenly. Needless to say, these were the unhappiest days of my life. Some months after being put into the home I got a call from the hospital. My dad needed a blood transfusion to live. I was forced to make the painful decision to withhold care and allowed him to die peacefully two weeks later. There is the old saying "that which does not kill you makes ytou stronger". The way I feel now, I will bet Superman has met his match. :wink:

Nick--

You have my sympathy.

In general I agree with your Character Building Philosophy--but sometimes I get very tired of building character.

Noddy, Character building can only be appreciated in the rearview mirror.

Nick, You havew been through a lot. May the future bring you happiness.