Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Hi roger, nope, I'm largely clueless on this subject. So I haven't been.

I think she's going to want coverage beyond 36 months, though. There is nothing immediately life-threatening going on and I think it's likely that she'll be around for more than 36 months after she stops working.

I actually think she might have regular insurance lined up -- I have to talk to her more about that. What I'm asking about in particular is long-term care, which most standard insurance doesn't cover. (I.e., not the emergency room visit for the broken hip, but the home care that occurs while she recovers.)

Swimpy, interesting. It does sound like a great idea to me. Interested in how it works out.

She loved the doll. The first question she asked me was, "is it real?" I told her no, it wasn't a real baby. She was still holding it when I left. It remains to be seen whether she bonds with it or not. I asked the staff to keep an eye on her and if they feel that it is making her anxious to take it away. We'll see.

A doll or a "mechanic animal" (these digital nearly real things) is the companion for many seniors with dementia on the ward my aunt is in - especially for those, who can't deal e.g. with the real (therapeutic)dogs.

Mother disliked it, as does aunt (aunt doesn't have dementia): it's not real both said/say.

I wonder how this correlates with those who cared for pets, however observable that was. Or if not pets, animals cared about.

I purposely got a doll that didn't perform tricks. I wasn't sure if she would like that. She really thought the doll was cute. Kept saying so.

I've been thinking about how Mom was yesterday. Her memory was worse than it's ever been, but I think all the excitement was overwhelming her. She was obsessing that she was being moved to a different place and was very worried about it. Maybe she had a dream about that, who knows. We kept reassuring her that she wasn't going anywhere. She seemed to accept that finally, I think.

Thank you for the feedback, Swimpy. I might try this with our grandma too,
except I'll buy a big stuffed cat or dog. She never had kids, only animals, so
she might be more susceptible to a cat or dog.

Seems a good idea.

Your grandma never had kids? Is this some kind of language problem?

No, you should have read my previous post, roger
She's our "adopted" grandma - my paternal/maternal grandparents are dead already.

Well, things were going ok with the baby doll until yesterday. The staff said Mom was complaining that that baby cried all night and she couldn't get any sleep. They decided it was best to put the baby away for now. It was worth a try. Maybe we'll bring it out every now and then for her to hold.

On a bad note, Mom fell last evening and badly bruised her hip. She is one tough cookie, though. Nothing was broken.

This thread seems like a good way for me to talk about Bob's death.

He is still so much here, I talk to him at times and at other times, I feel so profoundly lonely.

I understand why it is said that grieving takes approximately a year.

I start yoga classes next Saturday. It should be a good way to get me out of the house while doing something that is helpful for both the mind and body.

You'll be able to visit with Bob while doing your yoga Diane.

What Chai said.

Very good idea. My husband has been doing yoga and likes it much more than he expected to. Not just the physical but mental components. (Very calming for him.)

Yes, Yoga will help you tremendously, Diane. When I finally talked my Mom into it, she was hooked instantly and now she won't miss a session no matter what.
How are the animals doing - Sally dog and Fred must miss Bob too!

Sally is still very clingy, Fred hasn't expressed much, but he and Bob didn't see much of each other since Bob sat in a chair in the living room and Fred stayed in the office. For the last three years, the recliner in the living room was the only chair that was comfortable for Bob.

I'm actually thinking of finding a new home for Fred as he just doesn't get as much play time as a sociable little conure needs.

I forgot, Fred was the bird, what was the cat's name again? I forgot,
but I think the animals give you a bit of comfort, Diane. I wish I'd live closer
then we could hang out together, but with Jane starting school in 2 weeks,
it's difficult to leave in the end of September.

Dante.

Unfortunately, Dante has gone missing. He was an indoor cat, but he loved to chase Sally out the door. He would look around a little and then want in again. He was a little nervous abut being outside.

One night he must have slipped out with Sally, without my knowing. The next morning, he was nowhere to be found. I'm sure that some family took him in. He was so friendly and cuddly that I can't think of anyone who wouldn't love him.

I miss him dreadfully. He was such a love and his purr was hypnotic. Sally shows her loneliness too by being even clingier , wanting to be with me in whichever room I happen to be.

I keep thinking I see him, either out the window, wanting to come in, or curled up in one of the chairs.

Oh how sad, and I hope as well that Dante has found another loving family
that takes good care of him. I can see that you miss him terribly. I am so sorry that you have to endure yet another loss, Diane.