Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Foxfyre--

Life rarely comes with completely satisfactory endings.

Your sister and Mr. Noddy evidently share a belief that status comes from lots and lots of varied pill bottles.

Maddening!

Hold your dominion.

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Yes, it is maddening!

A lot of people get themselves into serious trouble this way. Different doctors prescribing different things, old prescriptions in addition to new prescriptions, duplications, drug interactions, etc.

If I were you, I'd wait until she was gone, then I'd make a list of all those prescriptions, complete with the dates and name of the doctor(s) who prescribed them. Next, I'd call and make an appointment to speak with her primary physician and give him a copy of the list. He needs to know everything she has because of possible duplications, interactions, etc.

Even if you don't know how many/how often she takes which pills, give him a list of what she has. It will be his decision whether to speak to her about any of them, but at least someone will know.

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Eva wrote:

Yes, it is maddening!

A lot of people get themselves into serious trouble this way. Different doctors prescribing different things, old prescriptions in addition to new prescriptions, duplications, drug interactions, etc.

If I were you, I'd wait until she was gone, then I'd make a list of all those prescriptions, complete with the dates and name of the doctor(s) who prescribed them. Next, I'd call and make an appointment to speak with her primary physician and give him a copy of the list. He needs to know everything she has because of possible duplications, interactions, etc.

Even if you don't know how many/how often she takes which pills, give him a list of what she has. It will be his decision whether to speak to her about any of them, but at least someone will know.

Actually I did that with her previous physician--the one who recently skipped town. No effect.

Currently she has had one doctor visit with a temporary doctor at the old clinic but the kids are in the process of getting her care moved permanently to a facility nearer to her apartment which, ironically, is the same one where my husband's physicians go. Good doctors there.

So yes, I'll make a new list and get it to the doctor as soon as we know who he is. Of course I only have access to what we have at my house right now. No idea what she has stashed wherever at her place. I've already found three different prescriptions for hydrocodone that she had stashed around in different places here. Some pills gone from each bottle. In Kansas I was a certified counselor in chemical dependency. But I am reminded again in stark terms why it is harder when you're too close.

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Oh, good. Then you know what to do. Sorry if I just restated the obvious.

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Eva wrote:

Oh, good. Then you know what to do. Sorry if I just restated the obvious.

Knowing what to do and remembering to do it are two different things, Eva. I'm starting to type up a revised RX list now. Never be afraid to state the obvious. Smile

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Don't pharmacists in the U.S. look at drug interactions before they issue new meds?

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ehBeth wrote:

Don't pharmacists in the U.S. look at drug interactions before they issue new meds?

The good ones do, yes. But that could explain why there are at least a half dozen different pharmacies on these medicine bottles, but then again, when the physician says to discontinue whatever and instead take whatever, they should be able to trust the patient to do that. My sister can be very convincing that she is astute, agreeable, competent, and reliable to follow instructions. And it isn't necessarily drug interactions that are the problem here but rather the sheer volume of the drugs being consumed.

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ehBeth wrote:

Don't pharmacists in the U.S. look at drug interactions before they issue new meds?

Yes, but patients often don't tell each doctor what their other doctors have prescribed for them. And, as Foxfyre said, a lot of people don't use the same pharmacy consistently. They just use whichever is most convenient that day. It's not uncommon for someone to have prescriptions on file at several different places.

Our family, for instance, has prescriptions at three different pharmacies (one close to home, one close to Hubby's work, and one close to the doctor's office for emergencies) as well as our insurance company's mail-in/internet pharmacy for maintenance meds.

Normally, our insurance company checks for possible interactions & duplications when we present our card (or account number) for prescription benefits. Once we are given a 30-day supply of something, they won't approve a refill for 30 days. But people who are turned down can easily circumvent this. They can always go to another pharmacy and pay cash.

There are lots of ways to beat the system if one wants more drugs.

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Mr. Noddy does not want to give up the role of Designated Invalid. I'm pushing myself to the point of exhaustion to see that he has clean clothes, balanced meals and other comforts of home.

He takes this all as exactly what he deserves.

Then he tells me how tired he is.

He can always get out of a chair unaided. At the end of the day, I can't.

I'm not feeling loved and cherished these days.

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Noddy24 wrote:

Mr. Noddy does not want to give up the role of Designated Invalid. I'm pushing myself to the point of exhaustion to see that he has clean clothes, balanced meals and other comforts of home.

He takes this all as exactly what he deserves.

Then he tells me how tired he is.

He can always get out of a chair unaided. At the end of the day, I can't.

I'm not feeling loved and cherished these days.

Dealing with something of the same situation here--with a different relative though--I hear you and understand 100% Noddy.

But awhile back you said that what choices he has left should be his to make. Does that include his choices that are detrimental to your health and well being?

I hope you are still thinking about that.

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Noddy, I know you don't want advice, but it is time you insisted that either Mr. Noddy be placed into a temporary assisted living situation or that some in-home assistance be provided everyday. Talk to the social worker at the hospital and insist on some help. You are putting your health at risk.

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You are loved and cherished here, Noddy.

Don't ever doubt it.

Meanwhile, I hope you decide to get some regular help soon. Very soon. We worry about you, you know.

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Dear Noddy

Yes - you are loved and cherished here girl....more than you know - but we can't help you in the practical way you need help right now...

have been reading your other thread...

Noddy - you must get help in every day or MrN must go into assisted living or.... you must go somewhere for respite until they figure out what is going on with you.

Now...you mean a lot, to a great many folk - but not one of us here can take your dominion and hold it for you - please, please keep your feet up and look after yourself. Mr N did manage when you were in hospital - he will manage again if you don't do the running around for him. I know, that will probably mean mental earache - but earache is better than what is happening to you physically.

I know we all wish we could help in some way. We worry for you. I wish I could say it in just 10 words...

let me try

If you do not look after yourself, you will be.....

k - well, I got to the ten words and couldn't do it.... you will end seriously ill Noddy - or more than serious. You are not a servant, you are not - at this point in time - able to take on the role of "keeper".

Please take care of yourself first. Please.

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Foxfyre - I hope you sister recovers soon - its terrible to watch your near and dear ones go through pain and discomfort - especially when you are trying to help and good intentions are not welcomed. Take care of yourself too. Hope hubby gets his CPAP soon.

Phoenix - how are you???

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Worrying.

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Thanks Izzie. The frustration continues though she is still in the hospital and is improving.

Originally - no diagnosis at all. She is sent home--initially they threw her out; now she admits she insisted that she be dismissed--but deteriorated daily until hospitalization became necessary five days later.

Initial diagnosis: Probable pancreatic cancer. Family panics.
Second diagnosis: Probably not pancreatic cancer - no mass - acute pancreatitis.
Third diagnosis: No pancreatitis. No diagnosis. Now distant siblings scream at local ones for 'misleading them' and 'scaring them to death'.
Fourth diagnosis: Doctor says he is treating her for pancreatitis.
Fifth diagnosis: Mostly pancreatitis but something else going on.
Sixth diagnosis: Still treating for pancreatitis but essentially no diagnosis.

ARRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!!

Meanwhile battling a stomach bug of my own--much improved today though--but unable to risk going to the hospital and passing it around as sister is finally not vomiting up everything she eats or drinks.

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Eva wrote:

You are loved and cherished here, Noddy.

That needs repeating.....

several times..

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Dittos what Shewolf said.

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Better day today.

My potassium friendly diuretic kicked in last night. I'm down two pounds of water weight--8-10 pounds to go.

Unfortunately the side effects--dizziness and fatigue (more fatigue!) have also kicked in.

Mr. Noddy is more amenable to reason today. Full Moon? Sun spots? I don't know but I'm pleased.

He's also been discharged by the Visiting Nurses which will give him greater mobility. This will be restful.

Thank you all for your comfort and support.

I'm for a Nice Nap.

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Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

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