Cut him some slack, Phoenix. Chances are, he loves you, and this has scared him. Men react to fear by trying to take charge of things.
On the other hand, if this is his usual M.O., I'm sure you know how to handle it by now!
I'm so glad that ehBeth called, I was working up to it.
I'm glad as well that Noddy is in the hospital in care. Breathing in and out.
I'm not only not a prayers or vibes person or candle person.
But my whole self is into loving noddy and making her well.
We love you Noddy, very much.
Phoenix, I do love you, but need to separate from this thread.
Ok, I'll cross borders and say, we love you and hang in, Jill.
Beth, Thanks for calling. I had a feeling that Noddy would be hospitalized after reading her description of her symptoms. I hope she gets a good long rest and that Mr. Noddy has someone to watch over him.
Phoenix, I'm sorry to hear about your health problem. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
ehBeth, thanks for calling. I'm so glad to hear that Noddy is getting medical attention. (Hopefully one of Mr. Noddy's sons knows he's on his own.)
I have one of those take charge, beats down ideas kind of husbands.
It is tiring and it makes you second guess yourself because you get so used to him doing it.
If top drawer heart surgeon is what you want, damnit do it.
I would not mess around with it either.
And if the only reason it would be impractical is having to travel?
GO.
I know.. there are other issues like COST.. hehe.. and insurance, but if you can get all of that taken care of I would hitch hike if I had to .
But. A heart surgeon gets the same education and the same abilities in every school. Just because one doesnt have an Ivy league plaque hanging in his office does not make him less than.
But then again.. SOMETIMES it does.
But, Im only spouting thoughts Im sure you have had a trillion times over . Im not trying to offend ya , or be rude.. I just worry and want to try to say something, offer something or be something that helps.
shewolfnm- Insurance is not the problem. I have both traditional Medicare and a Medigap policy. The thing is, if I go too far afield, there is the issue of recovery and follow up visits to the doctor. We have always saved "for a rainy day", and now, IMO, its pouring.
I have found a good book on the subject, "The Patient's Guide to Heart Valve Surgery" by Adam Pick. Written by a person who had a double heart valve surgery, and anecdotal, it does not sound like a "walk in the park".
I definitely would need some practical assistance for the first 5 weeks or so. I am a tough cookie, so I think that I could minimize the recovery time. I do think though that it would not be realistic to think that I could handle this by myself. My SIL and DIL offered to help, but they have their own lives, and I don't want them to upset their existence too much on my behalf.
In this situation, I would say let them help.
Be selfish.
if they are close to a cheap-ish hotel that you could afford to stay at for the 5 weeks, but maybe just be down the road from them? practical ? Or some other arrangement.. I dont know..
Sending warm thoughts to the Poconos, FL, and San Fran. Be well, all.
Have reread your health posts, Phoenix. Oof. I see the quandary.
I've no real advice except I agree on letting people help and agree it's your decision. I'd be confused about the statistics re the hospital versus that surgery group versus that one doctor, and then the same re statistics with an alternative hospital/surgeon.
Osso- I have researched through all of the hospitals, and have pretty much of a good idea as to the best ones for my particular procedure. I also know who are considered the top practitioners in their field.
For instance, I do so love the internet. My regular cardiologist could not see me soon enough after the results of the echocardiogram came through, so the office made an apppointment with one of the other doctors in his practice. All of a sudden, he is telling me how he would give me a catheterization one day prior to the operation (he would not do the actual surgery, which would be done by a surgeon).
I like the guy. Nice manner. Good to talk to. Seemed thorough enough. So I go home and get my hot little hands on my keyboard, and check him out on the Florida Department of Health's website.
Apparently, this guy has a disciplinary citation in his record, and a malpractice suit, from a number of years ago. So I order of copy of the disciplinary action from the state, and it came today. I did not like what I read. In addition, on the cover letter from the state, it indicates that he has had THREE closed malpractice cases, which I could access if I requested it.
Never mind............I will pass on this doctor.
The surgeon of whom I am interested, appears to have a clean record, and his hospital, although not one of the "big guns," has a decent statistical record, and does lots of similar procedures.
Good you noted that, number of similar procedure very important - but you know that.
I'm wondering, suppose there is a surgeon in a fairly far away place that you would want to do the surgery - perhaps such a surgeon might be used to having patients from all over, and might have some secondary person to have you see for follow up visits that is more local to you..
I just spoke to Mr. Noddy.
Noddy got four pints of blood today, but apparently it didn't 'take'. He has spoken to her on the phone, and seemed to realize the trip to the hospital would be too much for him to try on his own.
He has been staying close to home, although he's had a few errands that he needed to take care of. He wasn't sounding quite as good as yesterday, so I asked about the boys. He confirmed that Noddy's son and a couple of his sons know that she is in hospital and that he is home alone.
I told him I would call again tomorrow, reminded him to take care of himself, and asked him to let Noddy know that her friends are thinking of her. He told me that the only errand he had to do tomorrow wouldn't take him more than 5 or 6 minutes by car from home - so he'd be available for another call.
<crosses fingers>
Oh well done EBGirl - gosh, how awful for the Noddy gal. Lots of love to her and well well well wishes if you get to talk to her at all. I'm glad she is getting medical attention tho. Thank goodness she went there.
Such a shame MrN is on his own ... glad he isn't doing too much driving and not risking going to the hospital.
Bless you Beth for doing what you are doing.
Phoe: hamburger's been doing similar research on docs and hospitals for surgery mrs. hamburger needs. Isn't it marvellous how much information is available now!
You can really have a better sense that you're getting the best possible treatment. That means a lot when you're putting yourself into someone else's hands.
Take up everyone's offers to help - for you and for them. You are a tough cookie, but you're having surgery, they love and they want to help. Let'em. At least a bit.
Thanks for calling and for the update, ehbeth. Hopefully Favorite Stepson and D-I-L will get involved as needed.
Ommmmmmmmmmmmm
Just learned from Izzie about Noddy's predicament. EhBeth please mention to Mr.N that the folks downunder send their best wishes as well.
Phoenix thinking of you too, having had two major heart operations my self (now 11 years ago), I know what you're going through. You'll be a new girl when it is all over, take it from me.
