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Hanging Out with Ex

 
 
Reply Thu 26 Jul, 2012 09:45 am
So my ex and I were together on and off for almost 4 years. We fought a lot. We broke up in February and I didnt talk to him for three months despite his effort to reach out to me. Now we back talking. Previously when we were together I was upset that he spent more time with his friends then me. Now hes been spending time with me, taking me on dates, he came clean about some things he did when we were together, Ive been back around his family and hes been being really sweet. He tells me he just wants to be friends and see where things go. We also havent been fighting.

BUT....
He has a girlfriend. Who he denies. But I know he lives with her. Me and him both were in college living in dorms but we decided to move back home. When I go to his house he has no clothes or personal hygiwritingene items there. She posted a picture on twitter last month of her writing in her diary on her ipad that passage she was writing was talking about her "wonderful boyfriend". But she doesn't tweet stuff like "hanging out with my baby" or take pictures of him and her hanging out together and post them on twitter and facebook like most girls do. I THINK shes also paying for his cellphone (when he calls my house he name pops up on the caller id) and car insurance. She is also best friends with his best friends girlfriend.

When I confronted him he said he's not in a committed relationship with anyone. He said it wouldn't be fair for me to have to wait on him until hes ready to be comitted and that he doesnt care if I date other guys. He says he loves me and care about me and want me in his life and that he wants to work on our friendship and see if we can turn it into a relationship.

So should I back off? Or just be "friends" and continue to hang out with him? Do you girls think he's using this girl? Or that their relationship is out of connivence since the whole bestfirend thing? I dont know what to do...
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 26 Jul, 2012 09:49 am
@AlishaSegal,
He's got a girlfriend.

Move on. Find a nice guy for yourself.

Don't waste time and energy confronting him or checking her out on twitter.

He is in a relationship with someone else. They can sort their own business out without your interest.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 26 Jul, 2012 09:51 am
@AlishaSegal,
The only thing that matters re this other gal is whether he's in an actual relationship with her. If he is, back off. If not ....

Also, since you think he's living with this gal, why not ask? If you can't ask him a basic question, I mean, it doesn't make a lot of sense to be in a relationship (or try to be in one) where you can't talk to the person.

And, if you think he's living with her, and he doesn't tell you, why would you want to get back with him?
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Aug, 2012 03:09 am
@AlishaSegal,
Alisha

Guys (young) hate the thought that someone else will date you, have sex, radarada and they will do anything because of EGO to ensure you don't.

In my opinion, this is exactly what he is doing.

You "know" he's living with this girl, he's being all sweet and all to you but says "friends zone" .

Think about it.
0 Replies
 
eurocelticyankee
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Aug, 2012 04:03 am
@AlishaSegal,
Good advice. Listen to them Ladies.

We men are possessive, users, abusers and mostly think from below the belt.

Although we can be handy in the garden and for DIY n' such.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Aug, 2012 06:00 pm
Well, here's proof that going to college doesn't make you any smarter - or even help you think things out.

I can't believe she's even asking these questions.
0 Replies
 
TheIndependentLib
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Aug, 2012 03:23 pm
@AlishaSegal,
don't do it... u will only regret it later
0 Replies
 
barnett21
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Aug, 2012 05:24 pm
@ehBeth,
I agree with you on this one
0 Replies
 
rachl2380
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Aug, 2012 07:12 pm
@AlishaSegal,
I agree with everyone so far. It sounds to me that he is in a relationship with this girl, but has you on the back burner 'if things dont work out'. I know you said you guys were in and out of a relationship for 4 years and fought a lot... why would you want to go back to that? Ofc you aren't fighting now, you are friends. You dont have to deal with his issues, and he doesn't have to deal with yours. I would find someone that truely makes you happy, and doesn't put you in the friend zone
0 Replies
 
 

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