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Am I gay or straight??? Im Confused!!!

 
 
AmIGay
 
Reply Tue 24 Jul, 2012 08:40 pm
You may find it weird but im 11 and im starting to get gay feelings. I was at camp a week or two ago (one week canp) and my counseler would always put on a movie so my friends from the cabin would always come up. So one night only one of my friends came up and this time, he came a bit closer to me. At first i was like wtf but then i actually started to like it. For the past 2 weeks i've been searching websites about other peoples stories or websites that i could post my very own. Finnaly i found able2know that had others relating to my situation. And the boy that layed down next to me had mentioned that he had a gay friend and that the gay liked him but now im kinda starting to like him. I dont like the naked type of gay but more the living in a house kissing and more like friends rather than a relasionship.

Although, i do like girls. I've had girlfriends. Two that i really loved but the others they liked me. I also want to be known as a straight man when i grow up but i want to know what it feels like to kiss a guy.

I am also afraid of what my parents will say if i tell them that im gay (if i am) .
I would appreciate it if you could comment and help me out, tell me if i am gay or if you have any suggestions etc.
 
View best answer, chosen by AmIGay
joefromchicago
 
  4  
Reply Wed 25 Jul, 2012 08:46 am
@AmIGay,
AmIGay wrote:
I dont like the naked type of gay but more the living in a house kissing and more like friends rather than a relasionship.

Have you ever considered the priesthood?

The fact is, you're only eleven. These feelings don't make much sense to you, but then a lot of things don't make much sense to you. After all, you're only eleven. You may be gay. You may be straight. You may be bisexual. You may just be confused. These sorts of things tend to work themselves out by the time you get older.
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Jul, 2012 08:54 am
@joefromchicago,
I agree with Joe. You don't have to make a decision now, especially if you're confused. If you absolutely have only ever been attracted to boys, and have no interest in girls, then that's one thing. If you're confused, though, just wait and see a bit. Don't freak one way or the other. (You don't seem that freaked though, which is good.) Probably no need to tell your parents anything yet.

The other question is what "attracted" means, though. My daughter is 11 also and has a hard time with defining that. She has a lot of good friends who are boys, and her female friends are always asking her if she has a "crush" on this boy or that boy, and it's not always obvious to her. There are boys she likes a lot, and wants to spend time with, and wouldn't mind hugging or whatever -- but is that a crush?

She currently thinks kissing anyone at all is kind of gross.

I think you're probably a bit further along, but the "naked type of gay" might be roughly in the same category -- when you think of naked type of anyone, is that kind of gross too?
0 Replies
 
ZREX
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Jul, 2012 09:12 am
@AmIGay,
Only 11?
If so you have a few to many years of unsettling arousal ahead of you, as time goes your interests will become more clear stay true to your feelings, this is very frightening when your intimate interests and feelings differ from the social norm. Feelings are neither right or wrong they are just feelings and they are yours. If you are 11 give it time. When and if there comes a time and you can still not face your folks alone, there are many sources of support and counseling best done in person than by others that have had to do the same thing. In my opinion a better alternative to annonomus posts on the Internet
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SimonFarquharson
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Jul, 2012 09:33 am
First of all, I am extremely straight, but I always study poeple and their behavioralisms and in my oppinion there is no hard line between gay and straight. There are people who are naturally inclined to being more one way than the other, and there are people who choose to be more one way than the other, but it's all just points on a scale. Secondly, I think that at 11 you are too young to be making life-altering dicisions (I know some whom are much older and still question themselves) so forget about exclusivity, don't limit yourself to anyone elses ideas, and just do what comes naturally. Live and let live, these things in life will sort themselves out. [But seriously would you really choose Orlando Bloom over Liv Tyler? some things just baffle me]
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PUNKEY
  Selected Answer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Jul, 2012 06:20 pm
Don't confuse being aroused with being gay. Laying on the bed with someone can result in arousal. Move if it makes you uncomfortable.

It is not unusual to have crushes on same sex friends at your age.

You seem to express yourself very well. Just relax about this and there's no need to make any "decision" about your partner preference at this time.
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harris20
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2012 01:15 am
@AmIGay,
Ok My Friend.
Here is nothing to worry. Because what you are you know better . You ca n tell him without hesitation.You have no need to afraid of what your parents will say if i tell them that im gay . I think they are your parents and they will accept as you are.


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jcboy
 
  2  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2013 08:32 pm
@AmIGay,
Happy belated birthday, according to your new thread you're now 12 Smile
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tpter1-0
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Mar, 2014 10:35 pm
@AmIGay,
I personally am bisexual. Only a few of my friends know, and most of them are bi or lesbian. I'm 12 years old. My parents dont know, I don't know how to tell them and I dont know how you're gonna tell them. I just want you to know that you're not the only one out there that is unsure how to present their personal sexuality to people close to them. But anyways, good luck.
0 Replies
 
ErmaKeef
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2015 08:01 pm
@AmIGay,
You are most likely bi, which means you like both genders (if you didn't already know). All these people saying that you need to decide if your gay or straight are obviously oblivious to the term "bi" or "bisexual". Which you most likely are.
0 Replies
 
HesDeltanCaptain
 
  2  
Reply Mon 10 Aug, 2015 06:37 am
@AmIGay,
No one can tell another they're gay or straight or anything else. It's entirely up to you how you label yourself. Is Michael Douglas and Matt Damon gay for that Liberace movie they both 'had sex with each other' in? Or are they just professional actors? Is a prisoner gay for having sex with other men while in prison, but once released returning to a man-woman thing?

Who's gay and who isn't is entirely up to the person who's going to use that label to define themselves.

Women cuddle together and don't identify as lesbian because of it. Unfortunately, our culture is very sex-negative and while we "permit" women to be emotional and even somewhat intimate without labelling them as lesbian, that tolerance doesn't extend to men. But it's the same thing. We all enjoy being close to one another but it has nothing to do with our sexuality.

Was a kid here who startled me hugging me. Turns out he and his parents are just really big huggers. That's how it should be of course. Hug is just a hug most of the time. Though in my experience, outside the realm of raves, people don't hug. Smile But much has been written about how this is really unfortunate and guys in particular should hug more.

So if you've simply enjoyed some intimate proximity with another guy, and found yourself enjoying that it has nothing to do with sexuality. Everyone enjoys being close, but unfortunately not everyone acepts it for the simple non-sexual thing it usually is.

Google 'hugging important' for some info on its' importance to health and mental health.
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Saxon
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Aug, 2015 08:31 am
@AmIGay,
A friend of mine told me he had been giving oral sex to men from the age of 9 and said he enjoyed it. He is now married with kids. Some people develop earlier than others.
You are a child and still have the best years of your life ahead of you.
Don't rush into anything with anyone. Your hormones are all over the place. You could be gay, straight or bisexual but so what? Enjoy your childhood while you can cos adulthood will come soon enough.
You still do not know yet who you are a person. That can only come with the experience of adulthood. Maybe you need a father figure in your life. Not having a father figure in childhood can add to the mixed emotions of growing up. I wish you well in your search and whoever you turn out to be as a man I'm sure you will be happy. Good luck :-)
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newperspectivexx
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jun, 2016 12:33 pm
@joefromchicago,
Hiiiii, so you could be bicurious. Try and research that? I'm gay and I realized I was when I was ten, so do some research on bisexualiy, love!
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AskTheWolfie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Jan, 2017 12:32 pm
@AmIGay,
Hello AMI,

You are young and beginning to start puberty. Right now, if the wind blows in your ear you'll get aroused. I am not trying to disregard your concerns, but right now you are young and beginning to develop your urges. You don't have to decide now, or ever if you seriously think about it, what your sexuality is. Who you are attracted to will develop as you develop. Curiosity is natural and nothing to be concerned about. The thing you need to remember is that you are young and exploring the world. You are experiencing things for the first time and some may include same gender exploration. You don't have to classify or justify your exploration.

The thing you need to do is explore what you feel and understand how it effects you as you mature. Most adults have elements of bi-sexuality but determine their own sexuality by their primary attractions the develop at a later age. It is a matter of what side comes out the strongest and what you find yourself most desirous of pursuing when you are at an age where you WANT to pursue it. You are young, you are experiencing life... don't put too much stock in body reactions because like I said... right now your body is in a heightened state of awareness and everything is going to stimulate it.

Good luck,
Wolfie
0 Replies
 
Lera-B
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 May, 2017 06:47 am
@AmIGay,
You are too young to understand what feelings you are going through which is easy to mistake them for something else,you still have time to figure it all out -don't speed up the procccess ,the time will make you change.You are only developing ,you have yet a long way to go meaning don't tell your parents as it may cause conflict (depending on how they react ), and also you might be wrong and portray yourself as being "gay " - as you say. To be honest , there are many types like : asexual,pan sexual ,bisexual ,gay,queer.By the way ,someone else can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is – only you know how you feel and you should never feel pressured to label yourself.
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