Is it because of my religion and race? Do I have any chance to have a relationship with him?

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He is a Korean/free-thinker, that is raise in a Catholic family.
I'm a Singaporean/Muslim/Malay.

We live about 2900 miles away.
I first met him on my trip.
We get to meet each other every Winter in Seoul.

He was very nice to me every winter we met.
He holds my hand, Rest on my lap and also shoulder, keeping my ears warm, insist carrying my shopping bags without asking, play with my hair, telling me that I look nice, hold my cheeks, praise me, helping me to wear shoes, etc.

I don't know why he reacted this way?
Why did he do that?

The last time I met him, I told him I like him. However there is no response.

Recently, we argue about a Farewell Email I send him and also demand him to say his true feelings.

I send that Farewell Email due to lack communication since we are very far away. And also I cannot let myself getting hurt all the time.

He reply not to say Goodbye, he also told me he is not ready for me to be his girlfriend.

I don't know why he still wants to be my friend with me?

Now, he started to Email again. I mention to him that I won't be going back to Korea this winter.

However, he reply about taking me out if I were to come back to Korea.

Why does he like to do this to me?

Is it because we live far away? Is it because of my religion and race?
Why I have this feeling that he still wants me but he doesn't want to be relationship?

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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 1,966 • Replies: 25

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@InHeaven,

Sounds more like he's afraid of comittment than anything to do with race or religion.

That's a lot of travel, by the way, to visit someone who acts romanticly but insists on friendship only. Also, I shudder at the thought of visiting Seoul in the wintertime. If friendship is what he says he wants, it's really time for him to make plans to visit Singapore.

1 Reply

@InHeaven,

Sounds like he wants to bang you, I kinda want to bang you.

1 Reply

@roger,

That will be a bit difficult for him.
Since he is still schooling and learning English.

Well, he mension before about coming here but I think it will take him time.

Thanks for your reply appriciate it.

0 Replies

@Avendarito,

Well it seems I can't trust men.
Since they can only think about that... Hmmmm...

1 Reply

@InHeaven,

This person was never interested in you as a potential mate. He might have been amused by you, or tantalized by your strong blanket of innocence.

Trusting men or women routinely is pretty dumb. But many women and men are good people.

Please just do not volunteer as a victim.

2 Replies

@ossobuco,

I doubt very much you know each other enough to all of a sudden become serious. How much talking have you done between the both of you?

Physical attraction is natural, but there must also be a meeting of the minds.

What are the important aspects of each of your lives? Family or friends or both?

How old are you, and what are your future plans?

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

I was innocent at that time because when I first met him it was in winter 2010...

Thanks for your views appriciate it...

1 Reply

@InHeaven,

I understand.

I don't mean to be mean to you.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

To answer your question, if the way things happened were about religion and race, I'm far from able to tell. Maybe, or maybe not. Maybe he was just flirting.

1 Reply

@cicerone imposter,

It is true that I might not know entirely about him.
But I think I know his personality enough though.

The past 2 winters we went out everyday, because i was his house guest and he show me around.

In last winter when I was in Seoul we went out often and also call and message. He knows I love snow so he ask me out on the night when it first snow in Seoul.

However, we seldom message if I'm back in Singapore.

We only email once in 1 or 3 months to ask about our life.

At the moment he is busy studying english language.
And I'm busy in weekends due to work.

For me My family and friends are very important.
As for him, I know he has a few friends but does not contact them often.

He is not as sociable as me.

I am 24 years old now and don't know what I want for my future.

I wish to work somewhere far to get exposure.

2 Replies

@InHeaven,

Honestly, I don't see a future with him. If you like him, and can afford the travel expenses, that's just fine. I would not say you should avoid other males, and I hope you don't get too emotionally involved. He sounds nice enough, but your personalities and values seem entirely different, and as I mentioned earlier, I'm not seeing any sign of committment.

Have fun if you can afford it, but just don't get yourself hurt or miss out on other opportunities.

Not that I expect anyone to take advice, but maybe you will do a little more thinking about this.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

You might be right about it he told me he never had a relationship or dated or when out with girls before because the reason he said is that he was busy...

But I don't know he is busy with what...

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@roger,

Thanks for your views and advice.
Appriciate it....
May be he just want to be friends only...

But it is not wrong if I start to meet or date another guys?

Won't he be jealous? I feel guilty to date any guys, since I confess that I like him...

2 Replies

@InHeaven,

Hey I'm 21 I'll date you okay? We don't have to get intimate but we can share world views and ideas. My main passion is science and I'm studying chemistry and biology at university. What is your main passion?

1 Reply

@Avendarito,

Hehehehe!!! that is very nice of you, but my mind and heart belongs to that person I post about. Hmmm... But we can be friends ^^

0 Replies

@InHeaven,

InHeaven wrote:

But it is not wrong if I start to meet or date another guys?

I would consider it seriously wrong, but only if there were a romantic relationship, and if he were showing you the same courtesy. In other words, I do not think he has done anything to deserve the kind of attention you are giving him.

1 Reply

@InHeaven,

InHeaven wrote:

We only email once in 1 or 3 months to ask about our life.

that doesn't seem like a particularly close relationship

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

You have a point there.
I don't want to count how many times he email me this month.

But there was a point of where we were both didn't email for 3 months.
And we had an argument because of that.

Thanks for your views... ^^

0 Replies

@roger,

Thanks Roger.

I get what you mean, may be I was stuck with the feeling I had for him when we were in Seoul.
May be, because it's been a long time since a guy treat me nicely.
And he did take care of me very well when I was in Seoul.

What should I do then?

2 Replies

Is it because of my religion and race? Do I have any chance to have a relationship with him?

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