Is this true, or is it a fantasy-SO LOST

any comment is helpful thanks guys

Hiya - well, first off, you posted at what was, to me, about 230 AM. And it was the middle of the night for lots of people. Hence the lack of responses.

Now - you have had a long-distance relationship for going on two years. It makes perfect sense to not be talking marriage during it, particularly given your age (I assume she is close in age to you). 17 is awfully young to be thinking about forever commitments. Your life expectancy is something like 50 - 55 more years. That's a really long time.

Forget the anniversaries and the special days, yadda yadda yadda. Just go there. Knock on her door (bring flowers if you like, but that's not necessary). And say, "I love you. I'm moving back here."

And see what happens. Frankly, if it was me I'd be kinda surprised but probably, ultimately, glad.

But you need to also understand something. During this time period, you have been in an extremely safe situation. You maintain chastity because of the distance and your ages. You don't truly commit because of the distance and your ages.

And you also don't open yourselves up to seeing other people, or taking risks. It is extremely safe. And that does not mean that it is not right but understand that most people take at least a few small risks because that is a part of changing and growing. It is a part of becoming a mature adult. You see the world (or at least as much as you want to, and can afford). I'm not saying that you use people or break hearts, but you do try on relationships for size. Some are better than others.

Your being back is going to change things, big time!

You are also both older. The temptation will be there, and you won't be able to shrug it off as distance if you are in a situation where you can have sex. I am not saying that you will, but when you're a thousand miles away, all of that is conveniently and neatly (and safely) decided for you. When you're a thousand millimeters away, it's not so easy.

You will also, I suspect, find a lot of the honeymoon type phase going away, as you will undoubtedly see each other more, and sometimes that will not be when you are both at your best. It is one thing to only text, chat online or call on the phone when you are perky and happy. But you may find you have made a date but you're tired from work. And you don't want to break the date, so you go anyway. And tired people often pick fights. Fighting is fine, and it's natural. Long-distance deals either are loaded with fights or have close to none, and neither are healthy.

I've rambled enough. But things are going to change.

Remember - this is not a marriage proposal. This is just you saying you are moving back. Period, end of story.

First of all, do NOT surprise her. Let her know you are coming so she can be prepared. It's too big of a day to make it a total surprise.

Secondly, give this relationship time to develop. You both have not passed the test of time, so this should all be new to you. Make a promise to start over and begin again when you can really have the time and physical closeness you could only fantazise about.

Thirdly, keep your expectations in check. You have NOT had a relationship yet. This is to come. Good luck and enjoy

This scenario is rare, but not that uncommon.

I don't see that it is a real problem to surprise her...but letting the anticipation build for a little while (say a week), will probably have a much greater emotional effect.

As for marriage - I've very rarely two students get married. Usually one partner has to be earning money (and that's usually best if it's the male).

I would consider that the teenage years are those where we humans are finding ourselves as individuals...in other words it's a period of growth...and who she is now may only be a smaller part of the person she is in another few years....and the same is true of you.

How long has it been since you saw each other in person?

What struck me is that the two of you do not talk about a future together. Have you thought about this in depth? Why have you not approached her with honest conversation about plans for the future? Why has she not broached the subject?
Maybe your answers are already sitting under your nose.
When I was 17 I left home. I thought I was soooo in love with a hometown girl.
As soon as I checked in to the college dorms, I realized, the relationship wasn't going to work. A few years later, I was sooo in love with my college sweetheart. She was accepted to the "Education Abroad" program and was gone for a year. We wrote every day and called when our college student budget allowed. One day the letters stopped coming. I was heartbroken.
Point being, there's a lot of life to be lived. There are millions of interesting, engaging people out there.You are wise in your young age to know that life is not a fairy tale and you may very well reach a point when you just can't stand one another. But keep in mind that sometimes you have to go separate ways even when you still have deep affection for someone.
Four things are for sure in life: Death, taxes, change and it ain't always fair.