Sex Life Failing

Why don't you say something like "Hey, Honey, what's going on? Is something wrong?"

Maybe he needs to see his doctor.

I ask him, but every time he seems agitated at my inquiries. He says, "I'm tired working all day in the sun. What do you expect?" When he says that, I don't press the matter further. But he seems interested in playing with me and that's all. I don't understand him.

It sounds like he is having issues becoming aroused but is embarrassed to admit it. The fact that he goes to all that trouble to focus completely on you seems to point that while he is still attracted to you he can't perform, and by keeping the focus on you his problem won't be brought out in the open.

I actually had this exact experience with my husband and I finally got him to admit what was wrong. He explained that while nothing had changed mentally, his body would just not respond. We did our research and found out it was a rare, but documented, side effect of one of his medications. We discussed things with his doctor and switched medicines and things got back to normal.

Construction is a hot and hard job, he really could be too tired to have sex, but doesn't want to leave you without. Once he becomes acclimated to the work things should get back to normal. If not then he may need to see a doctor. My only advice would be to be patient and make sure he knows that you are not trying to judge, but are concerned.

Thank you very much. I think you may be right. This construction job has been wearing him down quite a bit. It also did not start until after he lost his chef job.and started his construction job. I shall definitely take your advice and be patient and wait until he becomes used to these changes he has went through. I have been patient, I just feel very concerned and you have shed some light on this matter. Your answer is very helpful. I truly appreciate that.

Lots of possibilities here, top of the list is self esteem issues re getting tossed out of his choosen career and needing to do hard labor to pay the bills. If so you need to work at helping him feel good about himself again if you want better sex from him.

EDIT: if I am correct telling him that diddling you is not good enough, that you want a sound *******, is going to tend to reinforce that he is not good enough.....after he has been trying to make you happy even though he does not feel good enough about himself to ****. It will be a bit tricky for you to maneuver towards better sex. Good luck.

I never ever tell him it is not good enough. Quite the opposite. He makes me feel really good and I tell him that. I just want to make him happy as well.

I like your viewpoint about it being his self esteem, though. I did not think of that at all.

I am a chef/manager and now restaurant owner.....for a lot of guys being a chef is a passion, not being able to do it would be soul deadening. Dont know if this is true for your man, but consider the possibility.