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Sun 15 Feb, 2004 02:28 pm
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him-"very quick." The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland.
" LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.
" LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: is your wife a nagger?
POLE: NO, she white.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: SHE going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says, "Polish Remover."
c.i. : oh, oh ! careful with those jokes ! conan o'bryan (?) - guy with the CONAN show - is currently taping his show in toronto (he temporarily escaped new york) and made some some comments/jokes about the french/quebecers; he almost got run out of town ! the newspapers are full of editorials/letters to the editor raking him over the coals for some fairly juvenile comments. you wouldn't want to be banned from CANADA AND POLAND, would you ? what place in the world would be left for you to visit; ever think about that ? we are cold here, but boy, are we touchy. (i'll give you a reference, if you ever need one). hbg
hbg, Warning well taken. But as an Asian, I know I can blend into the Canadian landscape very well.
IS THIS A POLISH JOKE ?
c.i. : can i trade you a japanese/german joke (yes, there are some !) ? perhaps you've heard it before. here goes : WHAT TO NAME THE NEW AUTOMOBILE> a japanese car-manufacturer had developed a new car, but had trouble finding a jazzy new name for it. the company president remembered having met an old german professor of languages while studying in germany as a young man. he thought "der herr professor" might be of help. he reached him on the phone and explained his request. (i should state that both had to use english to communicate with each other.) the professor was willing to oblige and asked :" how soon will you need the new name ?" ; answer : " well, herr professor, could you come with a name in the next two weeks ?" ; professor : "dat soon ?"; reply : "thank you so much , herr professor ! it's just wonderful that you came up with an answer this quickly." hbg
IS THIS A POLISH JOKE ?
here is a good one i picked up from google >>>
DAT SOON ?
I once owned one of those "dat soon's", it was a pretty good car.
After they learned why they came to name the car "DAT SOON," they changed the name.
"Nissan" means big brother.
Very funny guys. I really liked the one on google about 710. Hee, hee.
I could use some Polish remover to accentuate my other features.
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