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Thu 24 May, 2012 07:49 am
Could you help me check the letter of complaint to make it more acceptable to native speakers? Thank you!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I wish to make a complaint about a walkman which I bought three days ago in the Duty Free section of your airport. As is my habit, I made a point of trying it out on the spot. It worked perfectly well, and so I went ahead and purchased it.
However, when I got home and tried it again, it seemed that the volume knob had ceased to work. Removing the back of the case, I found that the internal components of the walkman were all rusted. Not only that but some of the wires were broken.
I am sure that you will agree that this is a most unsatisfactory situation. Therefore, I request you to arrange to replace this workman with another one, which must be in perfect working order. Failing that, I will have to insist on a refund in full of the price which I paid for it.
Yours truly,
Zia
@ziawj2,
Sirs,
A Walkman I bought May__ in the Duty Free section of your airport worked at time of purchase but failed a short time later. Opening it
I found internal components rusty and wires loose. Please replace or refund.
Thank you,
Zia Zipwind
1-460-889-9090
[email protected]
1440 Burrfur St., Calligula, Conn., USA
@dalehileman,
Could you help me check the ending in terms of tone, keeping the original meaning? Thank you!
I am sure that you will agree that this is a most unsatisfactory situation. Therefore, I request you to arrange to replace this workman with another one, which must be in perfect working order. Failing that, I will have to insist on a refund in full of the price which I paid for it.
@ziawj2,
Zia, your letter is fine the way it is. It's short, to the point and is perfectly clear. Good luck on getting your replacement or refund.
@ziawj2,
Quote:Could you help me check the ending in terms of tone, keeping the original meaning? Thank you!
Sorry Zia, I thought I had done a pretty good job of retaining the essential meaning. I’m better at condensing than padding. In any case they’ll probably get it, good luck
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