ehBeth wrote:Unless the house and the car and EVERYTHING are 100% in E.G.'s name, get out before you get involved with buying a house. Protect yourselves first and foremost.
ehbeth has made a hell of a lot of sense in this thread, but nowhere as much as in these two sentences. I absolutely, wholeheartedly, totally second that.
About the dilemma of putting your financial future at risk one way or the other:
1) Are you sure you have no viable job options in the hearing world? You seem to be implying it. But judging by your qualifications, and by how much you appear to have your stuff together online, I severely doubt that it will be possible to keep potential employers disinterested in you for a long time. Aren't you just hiding your light under a bushel here? I suspect you are.
2) Does anyone in this thread know long it takes in America to incorporate an organization? In Germany, it's several months, which would be too long, but America is rumored to be dramatically faster in this department. If it can be done in a week or two -- and I have no idea whether it can -- this is the easiest form of protection, and nobody needs to quit. It does involve work, and you, Sozobe, say you don't want that. But it might still be the least bad option for you.
3) Should it prove inevitable to escalate the situation, maybe it helps to escalate it the right way at least? I can see why it would be bad for you to be seen as a quitter, but how about this scenario: In the next meeting, you hit your fist on the table and say: "We need to incorporate NOW! We need at least semi-professional finances, which at the very least includes a credible set of financial statements: Opening balance sheet as of today, statement of projected income over the duration of the project, statement of projected cash flow over the duration of the project, and projected balance sheet at the end of the project. And we need it all YESTERDAY!!!"
Judging by the way you described them, they'll say you've lost your mind, and you will all spend thirty very unpleasant minutes in that meeting. After that, it's at least possible that things will get back on a sustainable track. More likely, they'll end up hating you, just as in the "quitter scenario", but your reputation will be more like: "She's a total control freak who always notoriously insists on following protocol and doing things the right way". This reputation will still hurt your chances with some deaf employers. But on the other hand, it should help your chances with other deaf employers -- and it might be just the employers that are best suited for you.
Disclaimer: My people skills have repeatedly been found inadequate, so you want to treat everything I said here with great skepticism.