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My half brother who i have only seen once before is coming over. how should i act around him?

 
 
Reply Wed 25 Apr, 2012 10:18 pm

he's 6 years older than me and is in college in the us. he reconnected with us last novembver at our grandmother's funeral. his dad had kept him seprate from us all these years.

when we met, i was kinda dissapointed. he was more interested with talking to my mother and didn't even give me a hug, he just nodded at me. he looked pretty cool though with a beard and asian look from his father's side.

now he's coming to australia over his summer break. my parents are very excited about having him over. i don't wanna feel awkward in front of him. how should i act to make him feel comfortable and show that we're family? i want this to go well.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 4,683 • Replies: 20
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roger
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Apr, 2012 10:37 pm
@Jess8900,
I suggest starting with a familiar handshake. Some people just aren't comfortable with hugs, even with family. Not sure of the relationships here, but if your mother is also his mother, it is pretty natural he should be more interested in talking to her than you.

If you can get a feel for what he is like, you could introduce him to some of your friends if it seems appropriate. It sounds like you used to know one another, but it's hard to tell. If he wants to be strangers, there's not much you can do.
Jess8900
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Apr, 2012 10:56 pm
@roger,
yeah we have the same mother. my mom is his mom too. and no, i had never met him until last november. i had only seen old pictures and stuff. and my mom hadn't seen him in person for over 10 years.

so we're sort of in the dark as to what he's like on a day to day basis. so this should be really interesting. i just hope he likes us because i would love to have cool big brother.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Wed 25 Apr, 2012 11:13 pm
@Jess8900,
Keeping that attitude is the best way to get what you want. Don't let your expectations get too high right away. It may be a challenge at first, but personal relationships are one of the few things that really can be helped with a positive attitude. I hope his are the same.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:45 am
@Jess8900,
You sound very happy and excited about having a chance to get to know him. I think that if you just let him see those positive feelings, and you make him feel welcome, and treat him like family, he will start to feel like a part of the family.

Maybe you could plan some activities just for the two of you, so you can have a chance to be alone and talk and get to know each other.

You might even e-mail him and ask if there are any special things he'd like to do, or places he'd like to visit, since it doesn't sound like he's been to Australia before. How long will he visiting with you?

If you could start an e-mail correspondence with him that might help to break the ice a little before the visit. You could just tell him about yourself, the things you like to do, and find out a little more about him. That might help you both to feel more comfortable with each other before he even arrives.

Do you know if he has a Facebook page? That might also be another way you could get to learn a little bit more about him and his interests.





saab
 
  2  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:58 am
Firefly had a very good idea so follow up on that.
Your halfbrother might be just as nervous as you are about getting to know his family and you. He will so to say be alone against the rest of you. Not in a negative sence - just the rest of you know one another well.
He probably will welcome your contact to get to know you more before he comes.
There will be some interesting months ahead of you.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 02:32 am
@Jess8900,
Please forget that dis-appointment. He hadn't seen his Mother in 10 years, he remembers her.. He more than likely was very nervous to meet you Smile

I know he didn't hug you but you know, we women can do it first... Why not hug him when he arrives and just do a throw away line, like " hiya bro, welcome back to Australia, hope you love our accents and me off course" and laugh.. That may very well be the way to break the ice.

0 Replies
 
Jess8900
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 06:11 am
@firefly,
thank you. thats a great idea. i'll get on that. my mom has been doing all the communication with him so far. i will get her to ask his facebook info, that way i could get a better idea of what he's like before he gets here.
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 06:15 am
@Jess8900,
I actually recommend against the Facebook thing -- right now you have all kinds of questions about him and that's a great way to get talking. If you already know where he works and where he went to school and whether he has a girlfriend and what he does for fun and all of that other info that is frequently (but not always) available on Facebook, that robs you of a lot of opportunity for asking questions and getting conversations started that way.
Jess8900
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 06:26 am
@sozobe,
i won't be using facebook to stalk him or anything like that. i just wanna get a general feeling for him. so that way i could be prepared to talk to him about any mutual interests that we might have. it was really awkward meeting him the last time and i think knowing a bit more about him would make it a lot more comfortable.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 06:36 am
@Jess8900,
OK, that makes sense.
0 Replies
 
RavenDDT
 
  -4  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 07:47 am
of course just thumbs down the guy who did not suck up to the little brat who asked the question. weird how nobody has a logical reply to disagree with me.

admit it! you people agree with me too. the poster is a stuck little girl who needs to accept that the world doesn't revolve around her.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 10:30 am
This young man has not seen his mother in 10 years. They have much to resolve. Talk about stress.

I'm sorry, but he probably has no interest in you right now. Too much on his plate to deal with an unknown half-sibling.

If I were you, I'd step back and let him make the first move towards even talking to you. Your expectations are unrealistic and too high.

Just observe, right now.

RavenDDT
 
  -3  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 12:47 pm
@PUNKEY,
i totally agree with you. this chick is trying to make it about herself. selfish brat. it'll be funny if the young man totally ignores this spoilt kid and doesn't pay her any attention at all.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:44 pm

EVERYONE shud be selfish.
The absence of selfishness is stupidity.





David
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:47 pm
@Jess8900,
Quote:
My half brother who i have only seen once before is coming over.
how should i act around him?
I suggest that u be polite, pleasant & friendly, when it feels natural to do it.

Just join in the conversation, when it feels right to do it.
Offer your own comments & questions.





David
0 Replies
 
RavenDDT
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:48 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
that doesn't even make sense. quit sucking up to the poster. you are making yourself look stupid.
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:49 pm
@RavenDDT,
RavenDDT wrote:
that doesn't even make sense. quit sucking up to the poster.
you are making yourself look stupid.
Be damned, DDT.
I 'll do what I feel like. I don t want advice from jerks like u.





David
RavenDDT
 
  0  
Reply Thu 26 Apr, 2012 01:52 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
lol dumbass.
0 Replies
 
 

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