Play therapy in dying children

Could you link us to the article you read to help us get an idea of what you're looking for?

They say that play is the work of childhood, and I have tried to make that mean that work should be the play of adulthood... regardless, when it is all done, the boss expects you to be too dog dirty dead tired for anything else, or just conveniently dead... no one should ever have a chance to wonder what they may be missing out on. Every one should be so focused on activity they have no time for anger or envy. If everyone just acts happy it will not be discouraging... we only live for a moment and then we're dead... why not get serius about our good times?

Here is the article. I haven't read anything but the abstract.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20081723

Thanks.

I don't want to get too specific but when my son saw a therapist they would often "play". Essentially they'd just start off playing with toys and the therapist would initiate some kind of (relevant to his problems) conflict and through their toys they'd try to resolve it.

The therapist would offer suggestions to my son about how his "toy" might react differently to get a different response. They'd give that a try. The response would be better and so they would be able to move on in their play.

And the end of the session the therapist would review things that happened with him: "Wasn't it great how when your you said A that my toy said B and then they were able to play again?" -- stuff like that.

It was a really good way for my son to talk about some issues that made him sad, angry and anxious.

I can imagine a child who is dying feels sad, angry and anxious. The fact that their child is dying also make the parent sad, angry and anxious and maybe not quite able to handle the child's worries in the most constructive manner. I can easily see a therapist stepping in to help the child deal with his/her feelings.

Right. You probably don't have an answer to this but I am responding because somebody else might come across the thread and be able to help.

I understand the conflict resolution thing but how do therapists recognize what the individual's problem is in the first place. Do they just assume that since a child is dying that his or her problem is sadness or anger or anxiety? Probably not. Right?

I would imagine that it would be based on what the parent's have observed about the child's behavior. The therapist will try to find out what is causing that behavior.

Say, for instance, the child might be behaving in a certain way and the parent's interpret that behavior as coming from the child's fear of dying while really the behavior is coming from the child sensing the parents are upset and scared and feeling that s/he is somehow to blame. By uncovering this the therapist could reassure the child that s/he is not to blame.

Kids blame themselves for crazy ****, things they aren't at all to blame for, and it can make them react in really unexpected ways. They don't have the verbal agility or the maturity to explain what the problem is so they just act.

With play therapy, as I've seen it, the therapist gets to the bottom of the issue which isn't what the parents might have ever thought where the issue is coming from.

Does that make sense?

Sure. But the abstract of the article suggested that perhaps the play itself can give signals into the real problem. This is what I am interested in. I don't know if, maybe, there has been more research or if there is a psychology expert out there who can help.

You have some really good points though. Kind of common sense when you think about it.

The play can reveal the conflict. The therapist does the counseling.

I know I'm not describing this very well....

But say during the play conflict the therapist brings about the response and says something like this (through her toy):

"Why are you so mad at me? Is it because you're sick?"

And the kid says:

"No I'm mad because my mom is always crying and it's my fault."

The play itself gives the signal as to what the real problem is.

Exactly.

When I was younger my parents had some friends over and one of this couple's sons (maybe 5 years old, but I don't remember) threw my transformer jet down the stairs and broke a wing. This seems like normal play, to me. Should it be interpreted as normal? That same child, later that night, crawled onto the dinner table and literally danced in the spaghetti bowl. How could I interpret this?

I suppose that the therapist maybe needs to initiate conflict? But then that seems to lend itself to certain misinterpretations. Right?

I don't ever remember being at your house, but that is usually what I do to get aquainted... If you do not mind some bad behavior on my part there is no reason we cannot be the best of friends..