If you were to take up a life of crime, what would you do?

I like the idea of selling printer toner out of my trunk. I would need to get an impala though. That could pose a challenge.

you could advertise and have folks send you $10 for a book that tells them how to get rich quick and easy like.

then you print up a little book explaining how to print up a book and get people to send them $10....

I like it.

you gonna send me $10?

hahahahaha.

I'm thinking about hacking the FBI website and changing the letterheads on all of the important documents to read FIB. Not exactly the most lucrative idea thus far, but I am pretty sure that it would be a crime. Actually, I'm pretty sure that just thinking about this is a crime. And so my career begins.

I'd become a Senator or Congressman. You can't beat the benefits.

I would start a collection of mattress tags.

Maybe I'll start a regime.

I'm not sure what this would mean, but it just sounds evil.

Then you would need henchmen.

And you could use this as your theme song.

I heard tell of a relative of mine (may be a myth) who came up with a surefire way to kill roaches and other pests. For just 2 dollars he would send you this wonderful device.

The device was a block of wood which you were to use to hit the pests, thereby ending their earthly existence.

I think you could probably up the cost to at least five dollars these days, plus of course shipping and handling. Maybe even have your company logo/name imprinted on the block of wood. Possibly run a sale where they could get 3 for the price of 2

And remember, when running this scam, all orders should go to a post office box, not your home address.

My suggestion would be to have someone else's name, logo and contact information printed on the blocks. Successful crooks plan ahead.

Are you volunteering your name Roger?
(just planning ahead doncha know )

Isn't this scheme legal, though?

Mary Kay and the Russian Maphia. Need I say more?

I could design a computer program that would take classic novels and automatically replace old character names and then randomly replace adjectives and then finally and automatically replace old titles with new random titles. I would then put my name as author on these novels. I would then sell these novels to both fans of classic literature and fans of contemporary literature. Nobody would ever know.

I'd become a cop--the DEA or ATF sounds like a pretty good ongoing scam.

I'd snicker some tootsie rolls.