married woman constantly calling/texting my boyfriend

Right now, you don't have too much real proof about her intentions but you do know how you feel. And if your concerns are being dismissed without thought, I'd say that's more of an issue.

I think - not an ultimatum - maybe just sit down and talk. Explain that it's not you being paranoid or insecure. The woman may have an agenda and he may not be seeing that. And even if she doesn't, tell him that the late nights and early mornings aren't appropriate (I swear, texting is the handiwork of the devil). Get him to put boundaries in place with her - he shouldn't be answering her during off-hours, for one. And he should be on the lookout for her crossing the line.

No - he is text-cheating on you.

He is a willing participant.

Leave now.

If he is in a committed relationship with you and you are uncomfortable with the texts, then he should ask her to stop it. If he doesn't, then I would question how committed he is to you.

As an example, I have always been rather flirtatious with ladies. Over the years, this has never bothered my wife. But there was a woman on my bowling team many years ago that my wife became bothered by the back and forth flirting. She told me it bothered her and I immediately stopped the flirting with this woman because my relationship with my wife is much more important than ANY relationship with anyone else. And I believe that is how it should be. In the 30 years I've been married, this has been the only time my wife has had concerns with me flirting with others.

All that to say, it might be simple flirtatious fun to him, but if you have bad vibes about it and tell him and he keeps doing it, then I would question his level of commitment to you. So to answer your question, no, you are not wrong to feel the way you do.

we have sat down & talked about this and it always comes back to the same thing, I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. he wants to ignore her & just let her get the hint by not responding and she will eventually go away. i say that is not the way to handle it. he says he has called the husband & told him that she is calling & texting him but he doesn't seem to mind at all- like i said- they have an "open marriage". she even went as far as to go see him when he went bowling & she is not on the team.

It sounds more like to me, given you know the things she is doing, including turning up at a bowling alley that you are fully "aware" or made "aware" of the goings on.. So, I wouldn't call that cheating, rather she's a nutter and won't get the hint.

People handle things differently, we are not all the same.

Do you have any reason to think that he would cheat on her with you seriously?

If, not, allow him to handle it his way... Realtionships are built on trust and without trust, there is no relationship.

are you nuts??

A MARRIED woman is calling/texting/visiting your "boyfriend" and he says it's "no big deal."? AND continues to do this behavior?

I worry more about YOU than him. Your self esteem must be very low that you take this crap and you stuff down your feelings to be put below the feelings of your cheating boyfriend - who dismisses your relationship and puts another woman ahead of you.

well all is well now. we actually went to see a therapist and after giving my side of the situation he had his chance to speak. I sat there in awe realizing that what this therapist was telling my boyfriend was exactly the same things I had expressed to him......and guess what?! He actually still thought it was no big deal! Therapist told us that this married womans behavior is inappropriate & if she is that lonely & bored she needs to turn to HER HUSBAND to deal with her problem(s)-not him. Since he will not tell her point blank to stop AFTER knowing how much pain this causes our relationship & me,HE is allowing this wrong behavior. This married woman knows what she is doing & that this has driven a wedge between us and so she doesn't care & she won't stop. As I sat there listening to this therapist and watching my boyfriend show little emotion or concern for me I knew this was over. So after the session was over we went back to my place, he kissed me goodbye & left. That was the last I saw or talked to him. I immediately called my cell provider & had his # blocked from my phone so he cannot call or text me ever again. No more wasted time spent on a relationship with someone who doesn't care for me at all. So glad I went to that therapist. I am not crazy, I was NOT overreacting- I happened to be with a man who was an ass. So now I am single and will be just fine. Getting rid of him was the best thing I could of ever done. 2012 will be a great year!! Thanks everyone for putting your 2 cents in- believe me, I read each answer many times!! Thanks!!