I am in love with my guy best friend!.. and I am a guy too.

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OK... I am Justin and 4 years ago I met a boy in my school, we hand out alot... after months of friendship he decided to come out of the closet and tell me that he is a bisexual. It was a very coincidental night for us, because I wanted to tell him the exact same thing about me. We got even closer... I decided not to tell anyone except him. He told many people, he got 3 boyfriends for the past 3 years and he was telling me details about every sex he had with them. I noticed that the past 3 months I feel really weird. When I am with him and talking about anything I feel something in my stomach. We went on a trip 3 days ago and I got to sleep with him in the same room. As friends we hugged each other. He was talking about his latest boyfriend and I felt the jealousy. The next day his boyfriend called him and told him how much he misses him. They are really in love. But... I am in love with my best friend too... What should I do... I've never been in love before... This feeling is haunting me. I think about my best friend all the time. I can't tell him, because I think that I will ruin my friend relationship. Please tell me an advice.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 3,331 • Replies: 15

[+3] - roger - 01/05/2012So, he's giving you all the details about his three boyfriends. How many people are you comfortable with being told about yourself?

How old are you? and him? (just asking)

I have no advice for you - except that your new friend sounds VERY experienced sexually and if you have any kind of contact with him, wear protection.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

We are 18... And how ahpuld I end up in the situation I want to end? In other words end as a friends with benefits couple?

1 Reply

@appleseed,

appleseed wrote:

We are 18... And how ahpuld I end up in the situation I want to end? In other words end as a friends with benefits couple?

Tell him how you feel and deal with the consequences. If you're feeling the way you've described then you're not going to be able to continue 'just being friends' for long.

Grow a pair and tell him already. Yeah, it might end the friendship, but this friendship is doomed already.

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@appleseed,

I think, this is all new to you and when we venture out into the "relationship" /"dating" world, we are eager to get started.

This guy is the "only" guy you have confided with about your bi-sexuality.

This guy is telling you all of his adventures, which excites you, making you want to have your own adventures already....

In-other-words you are looking up to him as well as getting excited at the prospect of what you are after "a" relationship..

He's taken full stop.

Now that you know what you want go out as well and get it, you say he has had 3 relationships, I gather none for you... You told him, hang out with him and his bi friends, and let them know as well that you are bi instead of holding it all inside, there is nothing to be ashamed of and you don't want to sit on the shelf...

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He has bi friends, he hangs out with them but ypu can tell from a dostance that they are gay and bi. I am a guy with a straight look, I act straight, I feel straight, but there is just something about him that is driving me crazy. I really want to try it with a person from the same gender and he is the one. I do not want to tell anyone because everyone I know has conservative thoughts about the gay/bi thing. But the strangest thing yet is that 2 days ago on the trip I had drunk kisses and pettings with 2 different girls and I was not feeling horny AT ALL, all I could think of was him and his new "secret" boyfriend that only I know about. Oh my god it is very hard for me right now...

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@appleseed,

Quote:

I feel straight

You need to see a Councellor and work through your emotions in my opinion.

You "Feel" straight, yet you have a desire to sleep with this one person and only this one person, I think because you want to be like him, he has had many a guy in a short period of time, has charisma and lots of friends...

He also talks of sex, something you want.

When drunk a lot of guys don't get the urge to take it further and alot of guys can't wait to take it further, but irrespective you say this was 2 days ago...2 days ago you were still fantasizing about your gay friend... You only probably kissed the two girls to see if you still liked girls.. You can't make that judgement call when you are lusting after someone... That's like kissing a girl after leaving your girlfriend the day before after 2 years...

It's that he has a secret.
He has charisma.
He has friends.
He talks about sex.

It's the persona in my opinion you are attracted to....

Go find your inner self sounds like if you look straight, act straight you may really want to look different and act differently like this "friend"...

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Here is what happened, I told him that I have a hard time working through my emotions. I did't told him that I liked him because I know that nothing would happen. He offered me some of his friends. I was thinking and thinking, I added his ex not boyfriend, but they were seeing each other for a short time. He told me that that is the best option for me and that this guy I added is sweet and he can make a good conversation. So I throw myself into the bicuriousity. We had a little chat and he seems nice. Now I understand, maybe I did't love my best friend, maybe I wanted to be with him because I don't have another option. I don't want people to know about me. I'll see what I will do with this guy I added. Anyways thank you all for the advice, If I have a problem this is the only place I can ask for a more professional help.

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I think you are confused - emotionally & sexually - and you are in love/lust with being in love/ lust.

Try cooling it for a while and just let things work themselves out.

0 Replies

@appleseed,

I agree with Punkey hun and I stated that before as well.

See, no where here did you say, I am not interested in even talking further with this "friend" instead it's I'll see what I will do... And, now you understand you are not in love with your best friend, maybe like I said, you are wanting to "come out" sexually, as a person, find out if you prefer males or females, just finding yourself.

You know that's normal right? You can have mixed thoughts.

I again agree with Punkey, just chill... There is no rush... okay.. Just go out as "friends" with both sexes... I think if you found a female that had the traits of this "friend" you thought you were in love with, that you would consider and start thinking there too.

You just need to relax and find yourself, it's all good.

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@appleseed,

So, he's giving you all the details about his three boyfriends. How many people are you comfortable with being told about yourself?

1 Reply

@roger,

None. Only he knows about me, but I haven't done it before, I am a virgin and his stories are killing me.

1 Reply

@appleseed,

Why are they killing you?

Virgins still have urges, desires are you ready to lose your virginity? Is it that you are not sure as to which sex you prefer? If that is the case, hang onto it for a while and like I said, go see someone professionally to help you work that out.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

First I was like, I need to lose my virginity to a girl... But now... Naah, whatever. As I sad, I met a guy online, my bestfriends ex-date. He is nice and we are going to have a date this week. I am looking forward of having my first guy on guy kiss. If it is good, and if we continue dating I think that I will lost my virginity with this guy because I can't help myself anymore. I throw myself in the fire and there is no comming back. The old "drink/party" me is gone. I am ready for one of my biggest steps in my life and have this thing with a guy. I am excited and my best friend is proud of my step. BUT HE TOLD ME NOT TO GO AS FAR AS HIM, NOT TO TELL ANYBODY ELSE AS HE DID, NOT TO BURN IN THE FIRE 2x AS HE IS NOW. THERE IS NO COMMING BACK. I am straight or I am bi. I already made my mind 3 years ago, but I haven't done anything. My best friend will always be in my heart, but I really don't want tO lose him. I love him and I always will, as a friend.... For now..........

1 Reply

@appleseed,

And yes... I was thinking for a veeeery long time about the consiquences, the future and the new me. They were pretty bad, but if i see for myself, I really need to do this, it's the only thing that can help me realise who I am, bad and good things. First I am hiding from everyone, my best friends and my family, if someone finds out i think that very bad things would happen. Second I will figure witch is better for me active/Passive. Then in #3 comes if I'm passive, what will happen when I have a wife and children, I will have the need of gay sex for sure. Theese are just a peak of all of my problems. I am planning ot getting professional help, but in the near future. Thank you again for your advices and sorry for my bad english Smile

1 Reply

@appleseed,

I can hear your excitement:)

There is no difference than a girl losing her virginity to a long term partner, than to a one night stand...It's a matter of choice, your choice.

Bad things won't happen if people find out, they have no choice but to accept you for who you are and if they can't again that's their problem not your. You only live once in this life as who you are, live it but be careful...

Protection comes to mind, think about that.

It's obvious that you are not confused, rather that you need to find you and this has been bugging your for years.. It will give you the understanding of who you are one way or the other.

As for the future and a wife, but wanting sex on the side with a male? You don't know that yet however, ensure you do NOT marry a woman and do this without her knowledge 'up-front' or don't get married, that's un-fair to her, not only because you will cheat but you will cheat with a male... Imagine it the other way around.. You would feel you were an in-adequate lover and so she turned to a female.. Add in respect when you take your vowels.. No one likes a cheater.

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I am in love with my guy best friend!.. and I am a guy too.

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