Is 25 too old to start dating?

i dont think 25 is to old at all i know someone that is 32 and they were dating someone just a year ago. You can never be to old to find someone to love

The fact that you are not concerned with dating and more focused on career is a good thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with starting to date at 25 or 30. What is my reasoning for this? Well if you are focusing on a career then you will be less distracted by your relationship. You can put more energy and focus into the career building rather than trying to keep your relationship happy.

I have further thoughts on this concept but I'll stop there because I'll end up in a tangent from your initial question.

Hi Roger --

Thanks for chiming in! Sorry I've not responded to you so far -- some bad time management on my part!

When I said dating, I don't think I ruled out the "getting to know each other" part. Isn't that why we date in the first place -- to get to know the other person, and basically understand how our preferred gender thinks?

Spider - I don't understand what you are asking.

If we all said, "Yes, 25 is too late" then what would you do? Stop your social life? Never open yourself up to finding someone special?

Have you dated - either in groups or alone - before?

I don't think you are that unusual. You have concentrated on your school and work and now are ready to expand your life.

Perhaps you are really asking WHERE to find other such like-minded persons your age to socialize with.

the first response in the thread really asks the important question

I understand that there is a cultural difference and that age is a huge factor.... but think about it this way. Everyone finds someone at some point in their life. Do you really think a man in his late 40's lets say...who was single, would by pass YOU if YOU were in your late 40s too?

is the cultural difference that significant with age?

Sorry I never could muster the time to respond individually to all the replies. Today's Valentine's Day, and I just remembered the thread.

I have to sincerely thank everyone who's pitched in. I am totally convinced there really is no right age for dating -- you decide what's the best time for you.

Small update: I've turned down two guys in the last month or so. And I met a certain guy I had remotely known in college through my best friend (he was her guy's best friend). I like him, a lot. I now also recall that I had faintly liked him in college too, but because we were in different courses, we did not get enough opportunities to interact.

I meet so many guys every month, and when I like someone I just know it -- like it happened with this one. Let's call him Darcy (yes, Darcy from Pride and Prejudice!)? We spent around three hours together (that included him driving us to the restaurant and then driving me back home), and there was no single awkward moment. We fondly remembered how he always tried to pull my leg because he felt I always looked "lost" -- whatever that is!

When we were about to finish lunch, he asked what my plan for the rest of the evening was. I said I planned to read and spend some quiet time at home. He said he was going to study. Note that he's two years younger to me, and is preparing to get into a certain type of course.

"You can't study today! It's Sunday! Take a break today, and then go back to the studying with all vigor tomorrow," I quipped.

"Now that you're asking me not to study, do you want to do something?" he said, his eyes sparkling.

"Like today?"

I was somehow a little surprised he wanted the meeting to last longer.

"Yeah, what do you want to do?" I said, internally beaming.

"Whatever, you decide," he said.

"Do you wanna go bowling?" I said.

"Sure, I'll take you bowling."

Actually, we couldn't go bowling - his mom called, and there was a change of plans. He promised to take me bowling some other day though.

But all in all, a very positive meet-up. There was a small flavor of a date to it, but of course, it was only a lunch.

He's one of those nice guys. Like really nice guys.

So let's see where this goes, but I know in my heart that I really like him. After a really long time I've really truly romantically liked someone (and we're not counting the teeny-weeny crush I had on my married boss).

At this juncture, I'm going to ask a sincere question: I find it hard to tell someone that I like them. I sometimes wonder if this is why I have difficulty landing dates. I don't think it's a lack of confidence. It's more of an ego thing, I guess, but it really does bother me a lot. Darcy's really nice, and I don't want my ego (or whatever it is) to ruin this one!

So how do I deal with this?

There is no obligation to tell anyone that you like them. The fact that you are willing to spend time with him lets him know that.

Try not to be so serious about this. Just hang out with him and see where it goes. Just for today.

Just enjoy the day.

I like this Darcey's style!

As far as telling someone you like them, I've always counted on the the fact that if we're spending time together, both having a good time, good conversation, etc. that it's self evident we like each other.

His eye's wouldn't have sparkled, and you wouldn't have beamed if there wasn't a liking there.

I think you're doing perfectly fine with continuing to meet and do things together.

Thanks again Punkey and Chai!

I think it makes sense to not put any kind of pressure on myself to tell him I like him.

I guess now the task ahead is to make sure we're meeting and doing stuff every once in a while. It will be interesting to see if we continue to like each other's company.

He was not a friend in college, and we still don't know much about each other, so I want to tread carefully. How soon is too soon to touch base again? We met last Sunday.

hey girl, I just happen to be online, taking a break from my job search, and read this.

What's wrong with calling him now?

I never liked the pretense of having to follow all these "rules"
Putting the shoe on the other foot, how would you feel if he called/texted you?

I'm betting you wouldn't think "oh dear, he's contacting me too soon since we last saw each other." Perhaps you'd be more thinking "Ah, how nice!"

I have a story to tell, I'll put it in another post in a moment.

Ok.

The following is a very sweet story someone told me last week. I was working a temp job, and was spending a little time in the vault, talking to this lady, Christy. She's about my age, in her 50's. She's one of those people I just can't imagine anyone not liking. But that's another story.

Anyway, we were talking about how she met her husband (married 10 years, 2nd husband) Steve.
A friend was giving a party, and actually told Christy "There's a man I'd like you to meet." It wasn't going to be a forced introduction, but they were both going to be at the party.

Well, they did meet, and actually did hit it right off. When dinner was ready Christy said "Would you sit next to me at dinner?" I guess you'd d have had to have heard her, but it really sounded so charming and ladylike. Kind of shy even.
They talked over dinner, and afterwards they took a walk down to a small pond on the property, and just talked and talked. Finally they realized they better go back up to the house, thinking people might be joking about them.

Well, they walked up to the house, and it was dark. They had to knock, because they'd both left their things inside. Her friend came to the door in her slippers and bathrobe! They hadn't realized it was after 11pm, and everyone else had gone home!

So Christy went home, getting there around midnight. She made herself a sandwich because she wasn't tired at all, thinking about the evening. At 1:00 am the phone rang and Christy, being a mother, immediately thought of her adult children, and if something was wrong.

Nothing wrong. It was Steve, just calling to make sure she got home all right.

When she told this part, I was grabbing my heart saying "Oh! What a gentleman!"

She told me more, but the gist of it was he was quite a catch.

Chai - nice story.
And that's how it happens.
It just happens.
Just let it happen.
Or not.

I'm not saying I'm going to go by the book, Chai, but somehow it feels a little weird now. I really don't know what I'm going to talk to him about. How about I call him in a few days when I really feel like talking to him?

oh no pressure spidey!

If it feels weird right now, go with that.

Coolio. Btw, darn cute story!