The Mins' Guide to Childcare (No Wimmins!)

Candy rule: When they start screaming, give them candy. Keeps their little mouths busy.

CAV IS BACK!!! CAV IS BACK!!!

(You missed a helluva party in Venice, my friend! We've all been wondering where you've been.)

I showed in Venice, but no one greeted me or took any necklaces. So I'm hanging out in reality.

Hi Eva and all. Medical problems have kept me grossly fatigued, so I haven't been around as much, but each day is a little better, so I shall endeavor to work my way back up to full posting speed as soon as possible.

OH NO! Did I forget to welcome you when you came to the party, PortalStar (or should I say, Duchess?) Please forgive me. I thought I had. The millefiori was exquisite, btw. Very nice touch. Please come again! (That nasty Ashcroft is gone now.) Reality ain't always what it's cranked up to be, y'know.

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well, Cav. I sincerely hope it is not serious. We missed you around here.

I very glad to see you here again, Cav, and hope that you will soon be well.

I am particularly gratified to see that you have so quickly entered into the spirit of the thread. I hope that you have more practical suggestions to offer.

Cav!!!!!! I do hope you are ok?????????

Where is Setanta getting these children he's taking care of?

Neverland's having a fire-sale.

We've missed Cavvy terribly, no kidding.

Mr. Stillwater, I dunno if I ever expressed sorrow bout your troubles, but I feel for you.

Ok, wimmin be silent for a moment.

I see Setanta down at the Misbegotten store, on 5th Avenue, on occasion. I'll bet he's buying the kids there...

Thanks a lot Gus, ya big mouth . . .

errrrrrrrrr





is there something you forgot to tell me, Bossman?

Very close to not funny.

We're living on the edge here, Osso.

Note to self: For future reference, the phrase "bouncing baby boy" appears to be in error. That and the one about babies always landing on their feet.

cavfancier, you're confusing babies with cats...

that explains a few things...

Cats, babies, they both walk on all fours.

Celebrity babysitters can be fun for the whole family, but it's important to choose the right one. The other day, I had to run some errands, so I asked my buddy Steve Irwin to watch the kid for a while. When I got back, the baby was gone, save for a few bones, and there was a note on the table: "Sorry about the accident mate, had to hightail it out of here quick. There's a tenner in it for you if you keep this out of the papers. Thanks mate. I drank all the milk too." Cheap bastard.

You know, I've been staring at Caprice's avatar for the longest damn time and I just can't figure out what the hell it is.

Is it Danny DeVito, looking into a peephole?

A dog?

Whatever it is, it's scaring the hell out of me.

Geeze, Gus, it's obvious--a dog sniffing the camera with which it is being photographed . . . (hint: some people actually photograph their canine companions as opposed to surfing for a piccy of one . . .)