I'ma notta Italian.

Angelina and Giuseppi were standing before the judge in divorce
court.

Angelina says: "Your honor, we beena marry 25 years ana Giuseppi
he always picka his nose ana when we maka love he a never letsa
me on topa. I justa canna taka dis nomore."

The judge listens solemnly and then addresses Giuseppi.
"Giuseppi, is disa true. You always a picka your nose and you
never let Angelina on top?? What have you gotta say fora
yourself?"

Giuseppi says, "Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a
lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be onna da
bottom. Itsa all go's aback to when I'mma a younga boy. My poppa,
he's a very smarta man.

"I always do ev'ryting he'sa say. My poppa one day he
says, 'Giuseppi, I gotta tella you da two main secrets ofa
hava successful life: Number one, you always keepa your nose
clean. Ana number two, never screw up.'"