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My boyfriend won't tell his parents about me being pregnant. what should i do?

 
 
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 01:21 pm
i'm 19 yrs old and 14 weeks pregnant. my bf is 20 and from saudi arabia. he has been extremely supportive ever since i got pregnant. only issue being that he has not told his folks about me yet. he hates his former country and its culture. he already has a strained relationship with his family since he gave up islam and became an atheist. he reckons that they wouldn't be able to handle it and that they are not important anyway. i can't speak with them because they don't speak fluent english and i don't speak their language. i know that i really don't need them but i've been feeling weird about it the last week days. we live in new york and his parents are in saudi arabia, so unless he tells them, they won't find out. what should i do?
 
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tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 02:18 pm
@buttonZ324,
I don't understand the problem.

It seems your boyfriend is estranged from his family for whatever reason (albeit rational or irrational reasons). If you truly love your boyfriend then trust his judgement. Maybe later on mine the reasons why he feels he needs to withhold this family news update with his parents.

Either way, welcome to a2k.
hawkeye10
 
  -4  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 02:28 pm
@tsarstepan,
Quote:
I don't understand the problem.


UM, I almost certainly nailed the problem being presented to us.
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buttonZ324
 
  3  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 02:41 pm
@hawkeye10,
it has nothing whatsoever to do with money. we both have jobs and my parents are totally behind me.
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 04:03 pm
@buttonZ324,
buttonZ324 wrote:

it has nothing whatsoever to do with money. we both have jobs and my parents are totally behind me.

OK, then what is it about?? Why do you care what his parents know and dont know? Why are you giving the BF grief about him not telling them?
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PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 04:47 pm
You are going to have to accept that there will not be the "happy grandparents" for your child on the father's side, so just make do with what you have.

Are there marriage plans in the making?
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Sglass
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 06:22 pm
Oh you poor kid. It really is the BF's responsibility to tell his parents and you really should not worry about it. You've stated the stressful situation viz a viz his leaving the faith of his childhood. His relationship with his parents have nothing to do with your relationship with him, and girly just don't worry about it. It is your life and the two of you have a child comming. Concentrate on what the child needs.

Sglass
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ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 06:26 pm
@buttonZ324,
buttonZ324 wrote:
he reckons that they wouldn't be able to handle it


He probably knows best about this.

He may be protecting you from them.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2011 09:34 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

buttonZ324 wrote:
he reckons that they wouldn't be able to handle it


He probably knows best about this.

He may be protecting you from them.
How often do they come to America? My guess is never. This is BULL. ****. Since when do we at A2K lie to people? We used to pride ourselves on truth telling around here.

The truth is that these parents are most likely going to be even more pissed than they already are at this kid because now he has knocked up a girl outside of marriage, and he does not want to deal with that, quite probably because his chances of being included on the inheritance will go down yet again,
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fresco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2011 01:46 am
@buttonZ324,
The fact that you are seeking advice from strangers in this matter indicates that you are attempting to view your situation "at arm's length". I suggest to you that such early "distancing", coupled with statistics on conjugal break-ups (even of same nationality couples) implies your union is tenuous, and you should think twice about continuing the pregnancy.
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saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2011 02:17 am
If your boyfriend does not want to tell his parents he probably has very good reasons for not doing so. So you should do absolutely nothing. It is his parents and his decision.
Ask him about his country and read about it and you will find out why he hates his country and why he prefer not to tell his parents.
He is no longer a Muslim - which is a crime in Saudi Arabia and conversion by Muslims to another religion carries the death penalty, although as of 2010 there had been no confirmed reports of executions for apostasy in recent year. Even thou he has not converted to another religion he is an atheist which is just as bad.
He is living with a Christian - at least a Christian in the eyes´of his parents.
This again is wrong.
Has his parents arranged for a marriage for him in his old country?
His realtion ship with his parents and his country does not make life easy for him so let him decide and accept it.
Main thing is that the two of you will have a future with your baby.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sun 20 Nov, 2011 01:45 am
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

Let me guess, you want the parents to know so that they might send you some money, right?

Dont hold your breath about checks coming even if they do find out.


WOW, negative 9 on the popularity poll, my best showing in awhile. Interesting enough we have never gotten an alternative explanation out of this chick for why she cares what the parents know. This is a good indication that I am right, which certainly would not be unusual.
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