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Low self-esteem, not pretty enough

 
 
porri
 
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 07:17 pm
I've never had a boyfriend and I'm over 20 years old!! All my friends have had relationships and had sex except me. I always feel embarrased telling people that I'm a virgin and I've never been in a relationship. Boys just don't seem to like me. I always feel like a loser compared to everyone else, since I can't talk to them about sex or relationships and I amways feel like people behave condescendingly and patronizingly towards me after they find out about my "personal life". Is it strange to be a virgin at 22? Am I un-attractive?

This is my picture (I'm not wearing any make-up in the picture):
http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/3030/snapshot201108241.jpg
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 4,017 • Replies: 14
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Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 08:10 pm
@porri,
Here are your other two topics on the same subject, in case you've lost track of them:

Am I ugly?

How do I make new friends when I don't enjoy partying?
porri
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 08:12 pm
@Butrflynet,
I guess I'm just trying to understand what's wrong with me. What do guys look for in a girl? Are looks really that important? I've been told that I've got a great personality but is that enough? How important are looks on a scale from 1-10?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 09:07 pm
@porri,
porri wrote:

I've been told that I've got a great personality but is that enough?

For many mature people, personality is king (or queen) depending on which way you swing.
Quote:

How important are looks on a scale from 1-10?

This is an impossible question to answer as each individual has his or her inherent and often mysterious formula (even unknown to themselves) for what and whom appeals to them sexually as well as emotionally.

There are a lot of factors for each individual that is a balancing act of attraction: sense of humor or seriousness; level of fitness; individuality and style; etc....

I haven't seen your (first?) thread in a while. What have you been doing to add more social experiences to your life at college? Have you found any interesting school clubs? Activities?Perhaps even seen a school counselor to talk about your esteem issues?
ryoung
 
  2  
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 09:18 pm
@porri,
Don't punish yourself like that, just be yourself and have fun doing whatever it is you like to do. Someday you will meet someone right for you that likes the same things you like to do. If you worry to much about meeting someone to much you might settle for someone not right for you and you would regret it down the road. Take it easy and just have fun and it will eventuly work out for you. Your a very pretty girl, you should have no problems when your time comes.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 10 Oct, 2011 09:25 pm
in the long run, self confidence trumps a pretty face.

people are attracted to people who are not timid. who are outgoing.

that said, developing self-confidence is it's own tough hurdle.

focusing solely on the physical will only bring you grief...
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 12:24 pm
@porri,
porri wrote:

I've never had a boyfriend and I'm over 20 years old!!

HAVE YOU MET PARJESH? HE'S 21 AND NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND.

All my friends have had relationships and had sex except me. I always feel embarrased telling people that I'm a virgin and I've never been in a relationship.

WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS INFORMATION WITH OTHERS IF IT EMBARRASSES YOU?

Boys just don't seem to like me. I always feel like a loser compared to everyone else, since I can't talk to them about sex or relationships and I amways feel like people behave condescendingly and patronizingly towards me after they find out about my "personal life".

WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS INFORMATION WITH OTHERS IF IT EMBARRASSES YOU AND YOU FEEL CONDESCENDED TO AND PATRONIZED???? WHY WOULD YOU TALK TO BOYS ABOUT SEX, ANYWAY, AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT? I KNOW FOR SURE THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!

Is it strange to be a virgin at 22? Am I un-attractive?

NO IT'S NOT STRANGE TO BE A VIRGIN AT 22.

This is my picture (I'm not wearing any make-up in the picture):
http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/3030/snapshot201108241.jpg
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 12:36 pm
@Mame,
Quote:

All my friends have had relationships and had sex except me. I always feel embarrased telling people that I'm a virgin and I've never been in a relationship.

WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS INFORMATION WITH OTHERS IF IT EMBARRASSES YOU?

I think its obvious she means that sharing this information with someone in the real world as opposed to some distant someone online (most likely half way around the world).
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 12:43 pm
@tsarstepan,
No, look at the next paragraph. She feels condescended to and patronized by people when they find out she's a virgin. Those are people she knows and who she's TOLD. Nobody here has done that to her.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 12:51 pm
@Mame,
Maybe she's just really bad at keeping the status of her sexual life (virginity) a secret.
porri
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 06:52 pm
@tsarstepan,
when people ask me about my dating experience i have no choice but to tell the truth as I don't like to lie. All my friends have no problem with sharing details about their relaationships and sex life and when they tell me stuff like that it makes me feel obligated to reciprocate, even though I don't particularly want them to find out!!!!!
porri
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 07:04 pm
@tsarstepan,
I wish I'd meet someone who wasn't so gung ho about looks. It seems like every guy I've met at school or in clubs all just want a "trophy wife" and they keep saying how they want a sixe 6 girl with big boobs and shapely ass and that really hopes dash my hopes of finding a meaningful relationships, because nowadays the media places such a huge emphasis on looks. All the models on catwalks and on Tv wear size zeros and it puts pressure on shy and average looking girls like me to look like that, even though it's impossible. (At least for me I'm a size 14-16 and rather plain looking). Our society has become so driven on looks and popularity that anyone who doesn't fit the norm will trouble fitting in! Media distorts a person's self image and makes people set outrageously high standars for themselves and others when it comes to looks. I've asked a lot of guys if personality trumps look and they've said that while personality is important, they wouldn't even consider dating a girl who scored lower than 8 out of a ten (Apparently most guys I've met are a bit sexist and like to score girls they see from 1-10, one being ugly and 10 being beautiful).
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 07:05 pm
@porri,
You are under no obligation to share on a one to one basis number one and number two people never never tell the complete truth concerning their sex life.

The odds are good that your friends sharing had a great deal of PR spin to it.

Last comments looks on in the eyes/minds of the beholders and my logical engineering mind tell me that my wife is far from the most attracted woman ever born however my heart tell me otherwise.

When a man fall for you he will be in the same situation I am with my wife when he looks at you.

Oh men do fall for women for other reasons then just looks.
0 Replies
 
hope14alison
 
  2  
Reply Tue 11 Oct, 2011 10:34 pm
@porri,
You want to lose your virginity? To impress who? People who show off about getting sex are not 'doing it' for the right reasons. Sex should be part of a healthy relationship, not to 'lose your virginity' to fit in with certain groups. There is nothing wrong with the way you look. Perhaps you don't have much self confidence? If you're that worried about your social life or lack of a boyfriend, you should talk to a counselor because you need to get on with your life and enjoy what life has to offer, other than what you're pining for. Sure, we all want a good relationship, and I'm sure it will happen with you one day, just don't count off the days.
0 Replies
 
Eman Azeemi
 
  0  
Reply Thu 24 Jan, 2013 12:37 pm
@porri,
to me you are a beauty queen.! Cause you are clean virgin girl.! Dont waste your time with dirty people who dont deserve your pureness.! I wish i could be your friend! Sad really i feel pity for you.. And i want you to know virgin is the purity of a girl which never have been touched by the guys.! Smile just ignore them. Be yourself what is the benefit of listening to the other dirty words.
0 Replies
 
 

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