School and life

Forums: Dealing With Being Bi Polar, Self-Esteem
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I do have a bipolar disorder in my life that I do battle daily, it's not horrible however. I am very unsure what I want to do with my life I am 24 starting school and just can't feel focused. I have spent the past 6 years bodybuilding and fitness modeling for $$. And I realize that everything ages, so this is why I'm stressed out. My friends and family told me if I can put my mind and dedication into my body I can do that with school. However I seem to lose focus/interest easy I get hyped up and then I look at something complicated and just give up I don't wanna be like that. ******* doctors want to put me on anti depressant meds, **** that, I've seen it change so many people, for the worst and everyone has a list of side effects, and IM NOT DEPRESSED. Just kind of stressed out on figuring wtf I'll be happy doing for the rest of my years. I don't want to take meds but I may need some type, DEF NOT SSRI. I'm also worried that taking meds will affect my memory. Is there anyone out there who is like this who conquered it without medication? I'm not a psycho I assure you all, I'm normal I just deal with some self esteem negativity issues. I just wanna be strong minded and have a good career and be happy. I want structure because I am all over the place.

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@SpawnOfGod,

Quote:

******* doctors want to put me on anti depressant meds, **** that, I've seen it change so many people, for the worst and everyone has a list of side effects,

SOG, I'd incline to agree PM is overhyped. Coincidentally a recent study showed that half of one's daily pills are likely of no help a tall, while side effects of the rest might prove worse than the condition they're intended to treat

Quote:

and IM NOT DEPRESSED

Could it then be anxiety

http://able2know.org/reply/post-5715835

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@SpawnOfGod,

If your interest is in fitness and bodybuilding I hope you are planning to study something in that field - sports science, nutrition, physiotherapy etc ?? That seems to be the best way to keep your focus at school and make a smooth transition into a career that you will be able to enjoy long term. Sorry I don't have any advice about medication etc. Good luck.

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@SpawnOfGod,

Regular exercise can often help with depression, so maybe point that out to your doctors. And ask them why they think this is what's going on with you. Perhaps they've got insights (or they might not). Doesn't hurt to ask why they think the way they do.

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@SpawnOfGod,

Your complaints are completely normal for your age, more than for your disease. I have a female cousin that was a low profile model, she try to go big to a national level but never achived that goal. But she always told the stories of how stressful and difficult was to meet the standards needed. How many 24 year old girls where considered themselves useless for their age and how difficult for them was sometimes to obtain a simple contract since there were many younger girls compiting for the same work. So i think it is normal on that kind of media to feel stressed.

It seems that your bipolar disoirder is quite controlled by the moment. But you should realize that you may need a drug treatment at some point and be prepared to accept it if your disease progresses.

There are multiple schools of psychiatry not just the traditional psychoanlist. Also you could try something simpler like conductual cognitive treatment. But be aware, if your diagnosis is correct sooner or later you will end needing a drug theraphy.

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Quote:

Spawn of God said: I am 24 starting school and just can't feel focused. . However I seem to lose focus/interest easy I get hyped up ..IM NOT DEPRESSED. Just kind of stressed out on figuring wtf I'll be happy doing for the rest of my years

24 sounds a bit old to be starting school?
Anyway, schools, parents and people put all sorts of **** into kids heads so no wonder you're fed up.
Luckily I was always a tough s.o.b. and I made up my mind in my teens that I was going to do my own thing from now on and not listen to anybody else, and I've been happy ever since.
Maybe you should stop being a Mister Nice Guy and be more like me.. Smile

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@jespah,

Thanks for the replies guys! I hope I don't need medication and if I do I will not be using any SSRI SSNI. Working out tremendously helps that's why I go 6 days a week. And as for a career path I'm way more interested in doing something with genetics. Because what intrigued me about bodybuilding is that everyone's different, and I would like to know the details of everything, and how everything works and how the body replicates code. All of that is so interesting to me, the only problem is when I look at the math and science required to achieve this career, I make myself paranoid and then start to feel this feeling of giving up and a negative side saying "you can't do that, your not smart enough, that's not for you" (not that I hear voices lmao but you guys know that feeling I'm talking about). Then I'll get moments when I feel like I can do it (bipolar). I can't have that **** happening, 2 things keep it under control, working out and weed(no joke). I've tried anxiety meds but I hear those things just eat at the brain.

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Quote:

Spawn of God said: I would like to know the details of everything, and how everything works and how the body replicates code. All of that is so interesting to me..

We're all interested in various things but that doesn't mean we have to make a career of one of them.
For example I left school with some decent science exam passes and got a job in a science lab, but it bored me out of my skull, so I soon quit.
Nowadays I have fun by keeping it light and just reading about things on the net.. Smile

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@SpawnOfGod,

Well, it's not easy stuff so I do understand your class anxiety.

But you don't have to do it all at once. You don't have to graduate tomorrow. Find a good tutor (graduate students are usually great for this) to help with anything that confuses you. This can really happen.

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@jespah,

I can memorize anything and understand things well it's just the concentration and focus, it also effects my relationships I've been managing it way better than I use to, so it def hasn't gotten worse but it Might like many say.

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@SpawnOfGod,

Jespah has a point. Look for a tutor that can help you while you study. You are interested in a incredibly beautiful aspect of biological sciences.

There is something amazing about the secrets hidden deep in our genome. Exploring the maximum capacity of the body down to its genetical capability, exploiting its limits, bending its disadvantages. Why not going for clinical genetics threw med school?

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@luismtzzz,

Man I would love to do clinical genetics. But see this is where my anxiety comes into play, I feel if I start going for something, I get this negative feeling as if "I can't do it". I'm a very anxious person, for being a bodybuilder I'm very shy to be in public. I put my hands in my pocket and I always have to be holding something in my right hand (keys, phone). I have OCD as well.

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