It's Hard To Be A Human Being

Hey, those thoughts happen. I, for one, am glad you're the one here. Thoughts or no.

But that's precisely it. You are a human being and that is why the conflicting emotions. It's hard-wired into the best of us.

It's OK to admit your real feelings cause he can't hear ya.

BBB

It's not hard to be a human being, it's hard to be a saint. Why hold yourself up against some unreasonable standard? What's wrong with being human, and having normal human emotions, like anger about being treated cruelly?

You allowed yourself to feel a final small triumph over this bully--you've outlived him--and that is an existential victory. Death didn't suddenly ennoble him, it didn't wipe out your memory of his past insults and the hurt he caused you, but it did give you the last laugh. Enjoy that laugh, without feeling guilty about it.

He's the one responsible for leaving behind a legacy of cruel behavior toward others--something you have no obligation, or reason, to forgive or forget. That you could not trivialize his past actions toward you, reflects more on the extreme pain he caused you than anything about your character. Your fleeting thoughts on learning of his death hurt no one, and they do not diminish you in any way. If, anything, you should be proud of your honesty, even in your private thoughts.

Stop trying not to be human.

There was a fellow named Tom Sawyer (not from Sam Clemens), who was a very ruff young man.
He got killed and taken to a hospital, arriving with no EKG, no EEG and no respiration.

He was revived. He survived.

He said that b4 he was revived,
he had a life review experience, incident by incident.
He came to an incident of a traffic collision, when he rear ended
some fellow and Tom slugged him in the mouth many times,
effecting dental injuries upon the hapless motorist.

During Tom 's life review experience,
he felt the pain in his hand of slugging his victim.
He also felt the pain in his victim's mouth, over n over again.

He said that was not all: there was a secondary ripple effect.

He felt the emotional discomfort of people who had not been present
at the time n place of the collision(s).

Junior had been expecting a bike for his birthday.
He did not get it, because dad had to deplete the family's financial resources
for emergency dental surgery. Tom experienced Junior's sadness.

He learned from it.





David

A modern-day warrior, mean mean stride...

Maybe his stride got nicer, after his life review experience.





David

Some people have extrapolated from this
that if u feel the pain that u have inflicted upon others,
then maybe u can feel the pleasure that u inflict upon them too.





David

I wonder what Saddam 's experience was like.

That sounds more like being a christian than simply being a human being. As several others have already pointed out, resentment and a certain degree of gloating are very human characteristics. The evidence that you are a more self-aware human who tries to be a good neighbor to all the world resides in your having recognized the pettieness of the emotion. That you had that feeling is not evidence that you are any less human, quite the contrary. That you regretted the feeling is evidence that you are a thoughtful human who tries to be the best he can.

Here's one of those events which are described as serendipity. I have a friend in Iceland who posted this just now at Facebook:

An old man once said: "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from ...all the drama and all the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

nice.

That happened to me a lot in the 70's and 80's. Feeling the pleasure I gave others. Usually it came about 48 to 72 hours later when I went to pee and it burned like hell. Fortunately a little penicillin and a few days later I was able to go back to dispensing pleasure. I'm a giver.

Good Luck with that, Bear!

It sure is hard blueveinedthrobber.

How'd you come up with the profile name? It sounds vampire-ish. You read vampire books? Blue bloods?

Either way, I like it! Its epic!

there you go, bear...

this should be a mighty interesting explanation.

Ima go pop some corn...

I knew this would happen...eventually

Yes it is hard to be a human being.

Pouring some vodka and chocolate milk over ice: