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My girlfriend is acting weird

 
 
BirdDog
 
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 09:14 am
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two months. SHE told me that she loved me first, etc. Even two days ago she told me, "I love you so much and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose. Even if I ever did hurt you, I wouldn't let you walk out of my life." She also tells me that she loves me, and even that night she texted me saying, "Don't worry about anything. I love you so much." Because I was worried about how she felt about what happened with her friends. Now, we spend every day together. We're also eachother's firsts.

3 Days ago she said "Oh, I have to go to a dinner with my dad," and left my house early because she had some drama with her two friends who were over and used that as her excuse to leave early. I found out the next morning, as well as her parents, that she spent the night at her other friends house, drank, and smoked hookah. Now, I wouldn't mind if she would have told me the truth. I understand, sometimes you just want time with your friends. But I addressed this to her before she left with her brother, if she ever needs a day off, to tell me.

When I confronted her about it, all she said was via text was "I don't know what to say." Got her phone taken away an hour later, after rejecting 2-3 of my calls and texts. So basically, she's grounded for two weeks, has her phone/internet taken away, and is getting picked up RIGHT after school and being taken to her parents work for 3 hours to do homework. (I've never seen her parents this mad)

Now, I understand that she's going through a lot. But still, I feel awful, she LIED to me for the first time. However, I understand why she's not feeling well. She got caught by both her parents and I. I don't think that she expected to by either. So this morning her dad came and got her school folder, she stayed in the car, he told me "Well, she's going through a lot at the moment so I just got out and got it. We went down pretty hard on her."

Do you think that she feels guilty, or is already going through enough and is afraid of my response?
I honestly do not think that she'd cheat as her brother cheated on her best friend, and her mom practically cheated on her dad. We're also very close and she's honestly very against it.

So I wouldn't get at that, although, some guy that sort of likes her was there. Her dad loves me though, so I'm pretty sure that if there were any marks on her neck, he would've hinted me. She also doesn't have the mindset/conscious to hold anything like that in.

Thanks.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,498 • Replies: 7

 
Ceili
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 09:32 am
Huh?
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 11:00 am
@Ceili,
Quote:
if she ever needs a day off, to tell me.


Oh, boy! You think you own her!

Quote:
When I confronted her about it


You sure are bossy.

Quote:
she LIED to me


I think I would "LIE" to you just to shut you up.



0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 02:03 pm
@BirdDog,
I think the most important thing you guys can do for each other is make a deal to be honest - about when you want to spend time together, for example. It's not healthy to be together every single moment of your free time. Let her know it's okay for her to want to be with her friends instead of you. Trust is a huge issue in all relationships and it's really critical you get that right, from the very start. Now and down the road.

We can't possibly tell how she (or you, for that matter) is feeling, so it's a waste of time asking us that. We'd only be guessing (as are you). And we don't know how old you are. I surmise you're in your teens, since she's grounded, but is she 13 or 17? Not that it matters all that much, actually, but it would help a bit.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Oct, 2011 03:03 pm
@BirdDog,
Trust is a big issue for you why?

You've stated two things:-
Quote:
I honestly do not think that she'd cheat


Quote:
She also doesn't have the mindset/conscious to hold anything like that in.


So, you "honestly" don't believe she would ever cheat.

Ask yourself honestly, given her parents did not agree, or like what she did, would you have? Therefore, would you have let her go to this party and smoke dope? I doubt it.

We as individuals belong to ourselves... All her life, and still now, as she lives at home, her parents make the final decisions... You as a boyfriend, are also making her final decisions... Ensuring she is pretty much with you every day, not out of your sight, being a parent...and being controlling.

She was your first, and hers yours..that usually accounts for something. She has "tried" to tell you "don't worry" but she has also tried to tell you, quit controlling me and being my parent..

We all rebel as kids, geez I certainly did...

And, when we chose a partner it's togetherness, not so we have someone else watching our every move.

You need to not ask, if she fees guilty what for? For being herself? For doing something she wanted to do that wasn't hurting you? Be it right or wrong over what she was doing "in your eyes or her parents", point being she did not feel that she could communicate with you and that means that you are treating her like a parent and so, just like she lied to them, she did to you.

Take on your own responsibilities here.

0 Replies
 
phatgirl18
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2011 10:34 am
@BirdDog,
Girls are really like that. We act weird at times but when we love someone we will forever be loyal.
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2011 03:00 pm
@phatgirl18,
You must be extremely young and/or have not have experienced anything in life yet.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Oct, 2011 06:49 am
All this has nothing to do with you.

This girl is just growing up.

She is doing teenage things - and got caught doing things her parents object to.

Step back and let her deal with her parents and her job of earning their trust again.

Then, if she is able, she can pay attention to you. Stop asking for attention during this very stressful family time.
h
0 Replies
 
 

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