Was it a date?

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Hi i am a 27 year old guy who recently met a girl of the same age a few weeks ago. i Met this girl hiking and we have done a few hikes together since. Sometimes with a group sometimes just us. Anyways after doing a few all day trips and getting to know her better I feel that she is a really cool girl! i am happy getting to know her. So i decided to take her out to dinner and then we did some star gazing. I had a lot of fun. I would consider this a date. i found out that she has been meeting multiple people on a dating website (not how i met her) and she isn't even sure she likes what she is doing. Said she wants to focus on just one person. However i think according to her we haven't even gone on a date. i was confused by this. i wouldn't even know how to do a date according to her. I am thinking she views me as a friend. I bring up all sorts of activities that i want to do and she is super excited to most of them. What do you guys make of this? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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It was a date. It doesn't matter what you call it, what matters is how well you get along. Relax and don't worry about putting labels on things.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

agreed

1 Reply

@djjd62,

That's how i feel. lol call it what you want but it's a date! I think we get along great. I have never thought of myself at good at dating. I would rather have her as a long term friend than a quick lived relationship. I guess I will just take it easy and see where things go.

1 Reply

@drzdude,

This is funny drzdude, I was having this exact conversation with my husband of over 17 years just last night.

He asked me if I remember what movie we had gone to see on our first date. I said "The Money Pit"
He said, "No it wasn't, it was The Abyss"

We discussed back and forth, me saying we went to The Abyss" first, but we went just as 2 people going to the same movie. "Remember, we were both talking about it and one of us said 'it's playing right now, let's go see it'"

Apparantly this going together meant more to him than me. He remember me grabbing his hand when I thought something scary was going to happen. I remembered the Money Pit, because it really sucked, and we left halfway through it to go eat something, and we got to know each other much better.

In the end though, it didn't matter, we ended up at the same place together, regardless of what was the first official date.

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@drzdude,

If she says she doesn't know why she is doing the "dating" game it suggests to me that they are all, after one thing, wrong for her, have baggage, she's not enjoying it, been there:) What she is obviously after is a relationship and I can imagine given I met my fiance after quitting all of that, at a restaurant accidently that she views this as a potential... Having said that, I also suspect that you didn't actually ask her out on a date, that you just said, how about we eat at where ever, so she is confused, are you a friend or did you ask her out?

I say this because, she says you wouldn't know how to do a date and she hasn't gone out on a date by you:) Yet she likes the ideas you give of activities.

Bite the bullet, tell her "so would you like to go out on a date with me? I'll pick you up at 7pm, it's semi formal".. See what she says ..

She's fishing in my books ...She wants to go out on a "date" with you not a friendship activity...

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Hi i like your advice!. I was told this by a friend of mine also. I need to state it that way. "Do you want to go on a date. " I guess maybe she was confused about whether or not it was a date going to dinner. It was however just the two of us, a nice restaurant, and I paid for both of us. (We both know I don't have a lot of money) LOL. So we are going out of town this weekend and she invited another guy to come along. I will have fun regardless but it always feels like I am competing and she has lots of guys after her. ahhh. oh well...

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Huh?

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@drzdude,

Firstly that's a question that is going to get a yes or a no:) You don't ask if she wants one, you offer one, "so how about a real date, dinner at 7pm I'll pick you up" asking do you want to go on a date, is not asking her out for a date.

But, now I am confused as she has invited another guy along, is this guy a friend, or someone she met on the dating site that she thinks has potention and really does view you as just a "mate" hense her comment we never went on a date, I think you are leaving alot out here:)

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@FOUND SOUL,

Like I said before this is not something that comes natural for me. Well maybe if i have been drinking a bit but that's not a good idea if since i am actually interested in her. She asked me if I wanted to hang out with her tomorrow very non nonchalant like. I plan to go with her. I think she met the other guy that is going with us saturday the same way she met me. It was an organized group activity. What do you mean by leaving a lot out?

2 Replies

@drzdude,

It will be interesting how she acts tomorrow, IDK body language? If she catches your eye contact alot, smiles alot maybe bite the bullet and ask her out on a real date, if she doesn't and seems to just be "friendly" then maybe that is how she sees you, I get the confusion, sometimes you really just have to bite the bullet, worse scenario if she says no, you can still remain friends.

Left out? Like the dinner date, things she talked about, whether she appeared to hang onto your words, or just "talk" Smile

Trying to gleen I guess a bit more info...

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@drzdude,

drz, relax.

Let foumd soul work his own thing out.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

Awe ... I'm a woman Smile

Think that qualifies for knowing how we think, just a little... Mr. Green

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@FOUND SOUL,

Well sometimes strong eye contact is difficult for me. She does seem to be interested in what i am talking about. She has a curiosity about her. We went hiking for a few hours and talked. We talked again about the dating website. she said that she doesn't consider those to be dates either. just meeting new people and nothing physical on these dates. So I asked her if she would like to go on a date with me sometime and she agreed.

2 Replies

@drzdude,

Rock on Dude, that's great news, sounds like you two have some good things in common.
Hiking together is a great way to get to know each other, you really get the measure of someone when you hit the trail with them.

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@drzdude,

giggle, see? Unless you bite the bullet, you never, ever, know.

Now she can't say "that wasn't a date" to me she is giving signs that the dating sites mean nothing, mean't nothing, she is after a proper relationship

Have fun. Smile

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Well, lets see... I took her on my motorcycle the other night and and we went and picked some fruit out in the forest. That was a lot of fun. We started talking about the dating site again and then I asked her if she would like to go on a date sometime with me. She said sure. This seems like good news to me! After this we went camping with her friend ( a guy) and sometimes i felt like a 3rd wheel but maybe thats the dynamics of 3 people hanging out together or maybe its all in my head. Either way i think we all had a good time.

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@drzdude,

You asked her already on Sept. 16 (on your post) if she'd go out on a date
with you and she agreed. Now you asked her again and she agreed....so how long are you keeping this up until it gets old?

Take her on a date already for crying out loud!!

2 Replies

@CalamityJane,

I agree! It's the same as a guy asking if he can kiss you - just kiss me (or try to) for heaven's sake, but don't ask. Just DO IT. And quit talking about. If she doesn't want to go on a date with you, she can say No. I think you might want to be more assertive, dude... women don't tend to gravitate towards wishy-washy men.

0 Replies

@CalamityJane,

That would be close to my words back at you drzdude....

On another note, quit talking about the dating site, don't hold insecurities for something that hasn't eventuated yet, that being one date that may lead to a second, same for the other guy that joined you two.... Be assertive

1 Reply

Was it a date?

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