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New Lev Train Proposal

 
 
dan-E
 
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 04:50 pm
We are looking for funding to design and build a Revolutionary Lev Train to transport people and cargo without all the hassle of going through the airport, and we're asking you to read the blueprint and decide if you would like to buy shares in this revolutionary new industry.


It's a commonly known fact that a piece of bread with peanut butter will always land face down and that cats always land feet first.


So we plan to harness this power by attaching thousands of cats onto giant slabs of peanut buttered toast and they will then spin inches above the ground never touching it.


We plan then to attach this contraption to the bottom of our vehicle and be able to have cheap quick safe transportation.

If anyone is interested give me money to buy peanut butter, or donate a cat.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 4,859 • Replies: 31

 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 05:48 pm
The cat lovers are gonna have a fit! But this is still the funnniest thing you've ever said!
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:08 pm
Jesusmaryandjoseph.....

You guys have WAY too much time on your hands. Confused
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:17 pm
And not nearly enough cats! But it would lessen our dependance on oil and that's a good thing. It would be one sticky and noisy vehicle though wouldn't it?
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:20 pm
You need to test your theory again though....I can tell you from personal and recent experience that cats do NOT always land on their feet.....

Don't even ask ~ my Mother would have a heart attack if she knew. Rolling Eyes

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.....
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:37 pm
Shhh don't tell Deb or Roger but I tried that too! It took many tries but I got it down to a fine science.

You have to flip the cat as you drop it and you have to do it from a very low height (about a foot) the cat won't be able to twist around.

In the interest of humane treatment of cats (isn't that an oxymoron?) I strongly suggest that this be done over a matress and with a cat that likes being tossed about.
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:40 pm
Ohmygod.....roflmao..... Very Happy Laughing Shocked Very Happy Laughing Shocked Very Happy Laughing Shocked Rolling Eyes
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Pharon
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 06:59 pm
Re: New Lev Train Proposal
Man you are not well. But once I stopped laughing I thought about it and have considered investing. My friend has a cat, he says it's a pain.....Maybe I could detonate, No sorry I mean donate. Laughing Laughing Laughing Very Happy Laughing
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dan-E
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Oct, 2002 07:34 pm
Please don't hate me cat lovers, in my project I plan to have cats working only 8 hour shifts with extremely humane kennels and special groomers to clean the peanutbutter off their fur.
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2002 01:00 pm
You could probably experiment using Craven, as he usually lands on his face (or something). and it'd be cheaper, too, as you wouldn't have to worry about special kennels or groomers or stuff like that.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2002 02:49 pm
Where do I send the peanut butter? Do you need grape jelly as well?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2002 04:05 pm
I am SOOOOOOOO wanting to disapprove awfully - and screw me mouth into a cat's bum shape and be cross........but, this is soooooooooooooo FUNNY!
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Diane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Nov, 2002 11:31 am
May I ask about the steering mechanism? I've never known a cat to go where someone else wants it to go; in fact, unneutered toms have been known to disappear for days at a time. Even while levitating, I'd be willing to bet that a cat would find a way to do what it wants to do.
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dan-E
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Dec, 2002 09:09 pm
Well my last cat found it's way into my dog's mouth so we need another one ASAP.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 04:56 am
Thud.............
0 Replies
 
bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 05:05 am
It's a serious problem that Diane has given us here. How many cats would one need for a trans-atlantic flight? We got two here, and Nisse is almost up for adoption, and this would be appropriate measures!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 05:25 am
Does this thing work over WATER?!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 05:26 am
I guess you would need two - like a catamaran....... but you would need lots of extra peanut butter....for the waves you know....
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 06:58 am
But which peanutbutter? Smooth, or the crunchy one?
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Dec, 2002 01:55 pm
I'd go with smooth - less bumps the better.

Do they have MARINE peanut butter?
0 Replies
 
 

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