Am I overreacting here?

I dunno - you sound kind of passive aggressive - you let him push your head down on him, you let him have sex with you after you said you weren't interested... sounds like there might be a history of that going on.

Not saying he is wrong, also not saying you're right... just that you probably should see a therapist rather than come to an internet site as you can divulge more information to someone in person and perhaps have your husband attend... here is not really the place for therapy.

But as to your point in particular - if anyone (mother, husband, kid, friend, co-worker) disrespected me to the point that I was that upset (that I left), I'd have it out with them and it'd either go forward or be over.

Hope this helps.

if it were me, there would be NO question. I would leave.
No man has the right to violate his wife , and if you made that rule.. and he doesnt give a **** about it.. that is a violation.

And if you go back, you are telling him that it is ok to keep doing that. he obviously does not listen to you.

Do not let your kids learn that lesson in life. They do not need to learn that violation is the way a relationship should be.

Again.. if it were me, i would be out of there. And no, that decision is not easy . But if you want to do what is best for your kids, you will choose to leave instead of exposing them to a relationship that is not about respect.
Children do NOT always get the best from a home just because there are 2 parents. Please dont think that. 2 parents is not the only base line for strong, stable happy children.

I do wish you some luck and I hope that you stay mad so that you stay clear. When you start losing the anger, you stop losing your will to fight for what you want.

Hey! Who said you could come in here? You need to go to the Acronym thread to get an admission pass first.

I have a feeling that there are MANY issues here in this marriage and their interaction in bed is just one of them.

Him not listening to her, for example.

um...just me maybe, but yes I think you're overreacting.

Sometimes ejaculation sneaks up on a guy unexpectedly. Anyway, if you felt him ejaculating, why didn't you just move your head?

I'm not going to say it doesn't sound like there are a lot of problems in your marriage, sounds like you don't even like the guy much.
However, I'm not going to assume he's such a bad guy because he came in your mouth.
Refusing to even speak with him for what's apparently been a few days now is a bit extreme.

As far as him having sex with you when you weren't interested, well, you're not saying you said no.
Did you?
Did you say "I don't want to have sex"?
I've had sex plenty of times with men over the years when I wasn't interested in sex at that moment. I've had men pleasure me sexually when they weren't interested in sex at that instant. Other times, I've wanted to have sex, but for different reasons than my partner.

To me, it's doing something nice for the other person. No more frankly, than going to a restaurant the other person really wants to go to, when you're not even in the mood to go out, not hungry or don't like that place, at least not in the mood that moment. Sorry, but unless you're being raped, or coerced, I don't look a vagina or mouth like some sacred inner sactum. Sometimes it's making love, other times it's sex, still others it's like scrathing someones back for them.

Like I said, I don't know what other issues are going on, or if he's a good or bad guy for you, or if you're a good or bad woman for him. Marriage is give and take. You just may do your share of taking in another area.

I agree with Chai here and it seems indeed that you're not very interested
in sex or your husband. You said that "last month" he wanted sex ......does
this mean you only have sex once a month?

Oral sex is very pleasurable for both partners and I don't think your husband
objects to your juices when performing oral sex.

Right on. In my house, we call that "Self-Serve" (I'm not into it right now, but if you really want it, help yourself - lol)

That's one of the things that's so great about being really comfortable with someone.

I've said things like "I really just want to relax because I'm tired. I'm letting you know I'm just going to lie here, and enjoy being lazy."
Invariably, his response is "fine by me"

or

"It's cold. I'm taking off everything and putting on my socks."

Seriously though. I enjoy sex. That doesn't mean every time has to be all the heights of passion.
At the occassionaly times like the above, I'd never think of just laying there exuding resentment. I'm not ashamed to admit I'll let my mind wander to something that's more interesting to me at the moment, like reclining in a rowboat and letting the waves slosh around, resting in a meadow of wildflowers, holding my warm husband in my arms and just enjoying the warmth and rocking.

On the other hand there have been times when either one of us....him too...this isn't just a female thing, has said to the other. I love you, but I don't want to make love now.
That's cool too.

well, if we are going to give our opinions on what she likes and doesnt like.. Then yeah. i agree with everyone else. I dont see most of that as any kind of issue.

But my point is that.... if they have discussed this openly, many times, and have agreed to these boundaries... and he KEEPS by passing them with out any apology, or any behavior that would show it was an accident or what have you, that is a type of violation. And when it comes to sex, and sexual rules , those can be a very touchy subject.
The very fact that they are not living together speaks volumes as to what is going on, so if there are even signs of disrespect in the bedroom too? I would be outta there..

ha.
any sex discussion i jump in on. im a dirty old woman like that

yeah ok, I got off on a tangent...
But, I don't know that was She considers discussing this openly with him many times is what he (or most people Or that his behavior this last time wasn't an accident.

Hold on, I have to paste her inital post to keep this straight in my head.

I was giving my husband oral sex the other day and he ejaculated in my mouth. I took offense to this because we already had the understanding that I don't like that and I wasn't willing to accept it. My boundaries were made very clear to him. He got very defensive and apologized insincerely. I got dressed, woke my son up early from his nap and left. I am refusing now to speak to him. I am so hurt by this disrespect. He was supposed to be my best friend and love me, how could he so boldly trample the sexual limits I put into place? I've never expected him to do anything outside of his limits. He has done similar things to me in the past...a few years ago while I was giving him oral sex he pushed my head down firmly on his penis and I couldn't breathe, he of course had an excuse for that. Then just last month he decided he wanted sex and even though I expressed to him that I wasn't interested he did it anyway. I didn't fight him or anything, just layed there and didn't move. This time is like the last straw, I can't continue to be disrespected like this. We don't live together right now because of issues in our marriage, but we were supposed to be working on our relationship so that we can move back in together and now this happens. Is this just me overreacting? Is this relationship salvageable? I need help finding the answer so that I can make the right decision not only for me but for my children. Please help!

Ok, beyond that she doesn't like the taste, or for whatever reason, I really do think getting up out of bed, getting dressed, waking up your child and leaving is a bit over the top. And the fact she hasn't spoken to his since?! Come on.

Ok, the guy just blows his wad, she up in a huff getting dressed, all pissed off. After guys ejaculate, they're usually not up to being defensive, and as far as apologizing insincerely, ****, after ejaculation I don't think guys usually want a lot of immediate conversation. I think "whoops, sorry 'bout that" is all you can expect.

Has far as, he's done similar things in the past? What, she says "years ago", then "just last month", anything in between.

I pick up from her choice of words that she really holds onto stuff.

Again, maybe they are a bad match. Sounds like she would be happier with someone who puts her on a higher pedestal than the one she's on.
Honestly? She comes across as pretty high maintenance.

Well I can understand her boundaries being trashed for sure. I, too, would be upset. Can't comment on her reaction because, like you, I'm not sure how often her boundaries are being trampled on - I, too, was confused about years ago, last month, and then a few days ago.

And is it just sexual boundaries being stomped on?

Regardless of whether it's only once every five years - it's still disrespect. What if it was something else like say, telling one of her secrets or repeating gossip told in confidence or swearing like a sailor in front of her boss? All signs of disrespect.

If she really really hates him ejaculating in her mouth, then he shouldn't do it. Ever. I hate it, too, and if my husband ever did that to me, he'd get a huge smack and crappy dinner for a month. Not to mention, I doubt I'd ever give him oral again. Or for a long, long, long time. It's highly disrespectful, actually.

Seriously?
For an entire month?

I don't like it either, but I know my husband respects me, and a little jizz isn't going to change that.

How do you feel about farting in your presence? I mean they're smelly and gross sounding, but I don't think most people get all in a tizzy about their partner pooting once in a while.

Farts can generally be controlled until you leave the room, and although it's a relief to fart, you're not all "Oh, oh, I can't stop, I can't stop" Yet we generally just let fly when we're around someone we're comfortable with, nay love.

I'm gonna be honest here, I have a lot of respect for the guy who can consistently stop himself long enough when he's so close to a climax to say "Thar she blows" as fair warning.

If I'm 2 seconds from blast off, I know I could never have the presence of mind to say anything that wouldn't stop the whole event from happening. I've never had to train myself to do that, and I'm glad for it.

Anyway, you can tell when a guy is about to come, and get out of the way yourself....ususally.

God, cut the guy some slack. If somone got something right 80% of the time they did it, you'd be ok with that.
But this? When you're concentrating on total pleasure, and you expecting 100% accuracy?

Kudos to all you gentlemen for keeping it in the 80-85% range.

Girl, you make me chortle so badly, mind, not just a little titter - I've just choked and coughed tea for about 10 mins. Thank.you.very much!!!!! Damn you woman.



<but would MUCH rather choke on tea as opposed to the preferences above, thankee verra much>



[quote="chai2" on countdown]
If I'm 2 seconds from blast off, I know I could never have the presence of mind to say anything that wouldn't stop the whole event from happening. I've never had to train myself to do that, and I'm glad for it.

but we know a crew who could help you with your countdown...

Chai <yes yes yes yes... 10, 9, 8, 5, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,

Time: T minus 3 minutes (OMG - it's gonna be 3 MINUTES)

Launch Control (LC): OSM, third stage S&A arm permit to close.
OSM: Closed.
LC: SSC,third stage S&A armed.
SSC: Armed.
LC: Prop 1, vehicle fuel tank press open.
Prop 1: Open.
LC: Fuel umbilical purge to open.
Prop 1: Open.
LC: SSC, vent 1 heater control exit.
SSC: Exit.
LC: SSC, vent 2 heater control exit.
SSC: Exit.
LC: NSC reports Chai is a go.
Mission Director: Chai spacecraft is a go.
LC: SSC - FTS bat one and two heater controls heaters off.
SSC: Off.
LC: Prop 1, pressurized first stage LOX tanks to relief.
Prop 1: Pressurized.
LC: Prop 2, top first stage LOX to 100 percent levels.
Prop 2: Up and down, 100 percent.
Time: Ninety seconds.
LC: SSC, hydraulic external power to on.
SSC: External.
Time: Eighty seconds.
LC: RCO, report range go for launch.
Range Control Officer (RCO): Range go for launch.
Mission Director: LC (Viera), you're go for launch.
LC: Roger

Chai < Roger that Wally! > tea




Iz<goes to get tissues>zie

Listening. I don't know enough, re the posting, not that posting details is always either easy or warranted.

I'm mostly of the view of the chai.

But, wait, can not you two talk with each other? I can't tell if our poster is hysteric or entirely right and should run.

Thanks for acknowledging that. I try my best.

Fuel umbilical purge to open.

I know you do dear.

Now go take out the recyling.

wow.
I bet Gracie is getting quite an education from this.