Why do moms get depressed after they have babies? Does it go away?

Forums: Relationships, Family, Parenting, Postpartum Depression
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Hi,Im Gracie and I have a twin sister (idenical) named Melissa or Lissa for short and I have an older brother name Matt, he's 16 and he's a jerk. Me and Lissa are 13. My mom left us a few months after we were born and Matt was 3 I think. My dad says that mom was real depressed, he said that lots of moms get depressed when they have babies especially if there're young. Mom was 22 when she had me and Lissa and he was 25. So that means Mom was 19 when she had my older brother Matt and dad was 22. I try to ask him more about her but he gets upset so I stopped. Me and Lissa were born 8 weeks early so we had to stay at the hospital longer than most babies, Mom left a couple of months after we got out. Does being depressed make moms leave? What makes moms depressed? Do they stay depressed for a long time? Can they get better? I think dads mad with mom for leaving,he doesnt really talk about her. All I kno is that her name was Amanda or Mandy, and she had brown hair and big dark blue eyes like me and Lissa. Matt has eyes like us but blond hair like daddy. Do you think that me and lissa are gonna be depressed when we have kids too? Dad says we wont but hes never been pregnant so how can he know for sure? I dont wanna be depressed, Ive never been depressed before. I get sad sometimes but im happy most of the time. If i do get depressed i dont think Id leave my kids like mom did. Matt says he hates mom, but matt seems like he hates everyone sometimes. It sucks, but sometimes i think i hate mom too.

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[+4] - Eva - 07/09/2011Hi, Gracie! The kind of depression you are talking about is called "postpartum depression." You can google it for more information, but basically, it's caused by the rapid shift in...

@GracieGirl,

Hi, Gracie! The kind of depression you are talking about is called "postpartum depression." You can google it for more information, but basically, it's caused by the rapid shift in hormones after birth. It's important to know that only a small percentage of women have major problems with this, so there is no reason to expect that you or your sister would. Also, it is treatable with medication and therapy, and it doesn't last forever.

If your mother left your family because she was suffering from postpartum depression, she would likely have contacted you when the depression lifted. My best guess is that postpartum depression was only part of what made her decide to leave. This is obviously a painful subject for your father. Perhaps he will find it easier to talk to you about it when you are older, but perhaps not. Some wounds are too deep to ever completely heal. You will have to respect that. Are there other relatives who might be able to tell you more about your mother?

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@Eva,

Hi Eva!

Thanks. I asked my dad about it and he said it was postpartum depression, I read about it but I didn't see anything that said it causes moms to leave their kids so I guess maybe my mom just didn't want to be a mom anymore because it made her depressed. I don't know anyone on my mom's side of the family, maybe if I did I'd know where she was, but my Aunt Jess whose my dad's older sister told me a few things about my mom; like how she looked and that she was funny and smart but that's all my aunt really says about her.

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Why do moms get depressed after they have babies? Does it go away?

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