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How would you describe this girls personality?

 
 
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:00 pm
I met this girl about 4 years ago at my party. She begged me to drive her back to her house in her own car because she was drunk. She seemed nice and down to earth at the time but then 2 days later, she started getting a bit verbally abusive, the insults seem like jokes but some other times, it feels like she's degrading me and testing my nerves. The second time I met her, she told me she was going through a separation with her current boyfriend and that she wasn't looking for anything other than friendship with me and I agreed. But sometimes it appears like she's not so sure what she wants and she makes little moves on me from time to time (she even kisses me sometimes saying that she loves me); but this only happens when she's drunk. When she's drunk, she's playful and down to earth, but when she's sober, she's like somewhat bossy and constantly calling me names like idiot or dumbass when I make a simple mistake. Though, like I said, she appears to insult me jokingly (especially with this really annoying smile that she has). Around the time that I first met her, she called me an idiot in front of her lady friend and then smiled so annoyingly after she said it, like she knew it would piss me off.


She really got to me one night on October of 2009. We were planning on seeing a movie that night and she called me names throughout the whole day (this time I wasn't even sure if some of the insults were jokes or just simply her trying to provoke me). She even talked down to me that day like telling me to use my brain. She seemed to be in a jolly mood during and after the movie but then when we got back to my car and I wouldn’t start the car on time, she got really bitchy and was telling me to start the car now. We were driving to the bar and she bitched throughout the whole night and because of it, I got a little distracted in between and almost didn’t notice an ambulance turning my way. She then lectured me like I was a kid and said “rule of thumb, when you see an ambulance, you’re supposed to stop”. Then she said I was driving too slowly and that I should hurry up, she even told me to honk my horn at some people who were driving a bit recklessly. When we got to the bar, she apologized for the verbal harassment (as she so delicately put it) but I didn’t say anything to her throughout the whole night because I was so pissed.


2 weeks after that movie night, she called me up asking if I wanted to hang out and then I warned her never to call me names again on a regular basis. She apologized again and said she gets carried away sometimes. But then she looked for another way to talk down to me like telling me to yell at her dog for bothering me and I was saying to myself like "It’s your dog, YOU yell at it?". And I even tried to yell at the dog (but only God knows why) and because I wasn’t aggressive enough about it, she asked if I was a woman or something. I warned her about that too and ever since I warned her twice, she’s toned down on her rude behavior so much.


The whole time I’ve known this girl, she’s been talking about her ex boyfriend (or whatever he is to him these days) nonstop. She tells me every time that she’s broken up with him but then some after that she’ll bring him up in conversation.


Last year we made love for the first time but then after a third time, she said we should just remain friends. Sometime after that, she wanted to make love again and I agreed, and we did this like 2 other times. All the times we’ve had sex, she was drunk.


It's like a "like" and "hate" relationship with this girl. Sometimes I really enjoy her company, we make each other laugh and we playfully make fun of each other. But some other times she's can be really obnoxious (e.g like the name calling which, like I said, she does playfully but too much). And like I said, the name calling has toned down a lot now but I guess I’m still going through the after effect of the excessive insults I used to take from her (whether she meant them or not), which is why I still get a bit sensitive when she insults me just a little bit every now and then. And even now that I insult back more often, I still don’t feel satisfied, or maybe I feel like I don't insult her viciously enough.


So what do you guys make of this? Is this kind of person even worth having as a friend, let alone a lover (despite the good things about her I just mentioned)?
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 2,079 • Replies: 21
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:05 pm
My mom told me something that might help you. She said when dating someone and you look at them decide if you'd want to spend the rest of your life doing what you are doing. If you like roller coaster rides, hang on, because I'm afraid that is all you will get with her. She sounds like a "come here", "no, go away", "no, come back person". It's okay if you're a yoyo. I hope it all works out well for you.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:07 pm
I didn't see you say anything really nice about her.
0 Replies
 
brummiejim
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:45 pm
@davesoprano,
mate time too dump her, she only likes u when shes drunk, u managed to sleep with her but doubt she remembers it, so move on plenty more fish in the sea ansd some like sex when sober Smile
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:57 pm
@davesoprano,
I'd describe this girl's personality as b*tchy.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 12:58 pm
@brummiejim,
Either that - or just take her out and fill her with liquor so you can get lucky -
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 01:05 pm
I don't know . . . passive/aggressive? a user? Who knows?

I worry more about you that you have stayed so long in a relationship where you have nothing nice to say about the other person.

Find yourself and you will figure this out.

Or just enjoy they lay - but only when she's drunk.
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2011 01:17 pm
Quote:
It's like a "like" and "hate" relationship with this girl.


Correction: It's like a "like" and "hate" relationship with myself.



Quote:
but then 2 days later, she started getting a bit verbally abusive, the insults seem like jokes but some other times, it feels like she's degrading me and testing my nerves.


Quote:

When she's drunk, she's playful and down to earth, but when she's sober, she's like somewhat bossy and constantly calling me names like idiot or dumbass when I make a simple mistake.



Quote:
one night on October of 2009. We were planning on seeing a movie that night and she called me names throughout the whole day



Quote:
She even talked down to me that day like telling me to use my brain. She seemed to be in a jolly mood during and after the movie but then when we got back to my car and I wouldn’t start the car on time, she got really bitchy and was telling me to start the car now. We were driving to the bar and she bitched throughout the whole night



Quote:
2 weeks after that movie night, she called me up asking if I wanted to hang out and then I warned her never to call me names again on a regular basis. She apologized again and said she gets carried away sometimes.



Quote:
The whole time I’ve known this girl, she’s been talking about her ex boyfriend (or whatever he is to him these days) nonstop. She tells me every time that she’s broken up with him but then some after that she’ll bring him up in conversation.



Quote:
Last year we made love for the first time but then after a third time, she said we should just remain friends. Sometime after that, she wanted to make love again and I agreed, and we did this like 2 other times. All the times we’ve had sex, she was drunk.


Why would you put up with this kind of treatment for more than two years from someone? Are you that desperate for attention from this girl?

Don't you think you deserve better than this?

I hope you were smart enough to at least wear a condom while you were having sex with her.
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jul, 2011 02:21 pm
@Arella Mae,
Yea I know it's pretty sick right?
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jul, 2011 02:22 pm
@brummiejim,
lol
0 Replies
 
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jul, 2011 02:23 pm
@Linkat,
lol like they say drunk sex is better than sober sex, less talk more action. Which is actually true. It's the verbal abuse that's annoying but oh well
0 Replies
 
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Jul, 2011 02:27 pm
@Butrflynet,
lol don't worry, I wore a condom. I know I'm playing with a spider here but believe me I'm gradually cutting my way out of her sticky web
0 Replies
 
Arella Mae
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jul, 2011 10:03 am
@davesoprano,
davesoprano wrote:

Yea I know it's pretty sick right?


If you KNOW it is sick WHY are you staying in the relationship? Honestly, that says a lot more about you than it does her.
williams22
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Jul, 2011 11:22 pm
First of all you tell me ! what are you feelings about her ?
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2011 02:14 pm
@williams22,
To tell you the truth I only feel lust for her. Of course that's everyone's feeling when they first meet someone they find appealing (or at least that's every guy's feeling the first time). Might've developed into something much more if she wasn't such a manipulative bitch, so I just said to myself like "hey, what the hell, since she wants to put herself out there a bitch and a whore, I'll just act like i'm only interested in what's between her legs.

She even texted me yesterday asking what she did to me to make me hate her so much, because I've been ignoring the **** out of her lately. I just smiled and deleted the text. I'll eventually call her and tell her straight up that she can either be my sex buddy or she can **** off and die. I've been using the nice guy approach the whole time but this time, no more. If she agrees to be my sex buddy, I'll keep ******* her just to remain sane as a man (I'm sure I don't have to explain THAT to you; being a man yourself) until I find a female that is a REAL woman and not a bitch.
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2011 02:17 pm
@Arella Mae,
Yea well. Now I know exactly what to do to get what I want from her and the nice guy approach definitely ain't the way to get it. She's a bitch so I'll start to treat her like one from now on until I find another woman, the RIGHT one. If that's even likely because sadly our generation today is bullshit.
0 Replies
 
Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jul, 2011 02:18 pm
@davesoprano,
Seriously? You are a very filthy mouthed young man. If I had a daughter, she'd get nowhere near you.

I wouldn't worry about finding a woman who isn't a "b". You keep treating them like that and I doubt you'll find anything else.
davesoprano
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2011 09:55 am
@Arella Mae,
I have a good heart but it can turn black if provoked. I’m not talking like this because I’m an asshole to begin with, I’m simply being defensive. Wouldn’t YOU want to get even with a guy that mistreated you or anyone else that mistreated you for the matter (man or woman)?
Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2011 09:59 am
@davesoprano,
Would I want to get even with someone that mistreated me. Um, no, not anymore. How would that make me any better than them? I learned a long time ago revenge is not sweet.

I see, so if someone says something or does something you don't like you are going to become an ****hole?

I am not saying you don't have a right to feel pain because you do. But if you are going to hurt someone because they hurt you, how does that make you anything but on the same level with them?
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2011 10:38 am
@davesoprano,
Have you heard that living well is the best revenge. I understand your feelings, but the above is true. If you don't let go of the anger, then you will still suffer. If you can let go say goodbye, good luck and then find some really cute sweet girl - you will be ten times better off than to let it get you upset.
 

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