The two-faced hostess
Smiles on one side; on reverse
She sticks out her tongue
She sticks out her tongue,
what an utter rude gesture,
teach her a lesson.
Teach her a lesson
In how to cook a chicken
Or her goose is stewed
Or her goose is stewed.
Come under my umbrella
Safe from the weather.
Safe from the weather
In my snug, soft, little bed
While winds howl outside
While winds howl outside.
Oh, no help, I got outside,
let me back inside.
Let me back inside
Or I will kick the door in
With my Jimmy Choo's
With my Jimmy Choos
I strutted my stuff right down
Lower Regent Street.
Lower Regent Street
Is my new shopping Mecca
Don't I look trendy?
Don't I look trendy
In a Vivienne Westwood
Gown and huge pink hat?
Gown and huge pink hat,
Vivian Leigh was truly
Scarlett O'Hara
Scarlett O'Hara
Never be hungry again:
Chew on scenery
Chew on scenery
Like Crawford and Davis did
In Baby Jane flick
In Baby Jane flick.
A goal, an assist, a fight
The ultimate feat.
The ultimate feat.
Reaching Cosmic Eagle status!
Most will not reach it.
Most will not reach it,
A century of living...
But maybe I will.
But may be I will.
With your determination
A matter of time.
A matter of time
Until the planet heats up
And the ice caps melt
And the ice cap melts,
drowning whole continents,
no one wil be safe.
No one will be safe
In a bird flu pandemic
But, don't be chicken
