Fell under a bus
Hurt his leg arm and body.
How stiff can you be.
How stiff can you be
After downing all that beer
I'd be like jello
I'd be like jello
You are a woman that's why.
Cheers to one and all.
Cheers to one and all?
That's easy for you to say-
Whose round it it now?
Who's round is it now
In this dark and dusty pub?
I think it be mine.
'I think it be mine'
And a skeletal hand reached
For the custard pie.
For the custard pie
Knoweth not its own father-
But its fate is clear
But its fate is clear:
First, baking in an oven,
Last, being eaten.
Last, being eaten.
What do you take me for,
Modern cannibal?
Modern cannibal
Needs to stirfry the tasty
Sections of liver.
Sections of liver.
Who would consume such tripe.
Certainly not me.
Certainly not me.
It's everybody else who
Passes the darn buck.
Passes the darn buck
Ev'ry time he goes out but
He fails to shoot it.
He fails to shoot it.
An army soldier at that.
Who will win the war?
Who will win the war
of chefs versus cooks, the one
with the biggest hat?
with the biggest hat?
may be ultimate winner
won't bet on it though.
Won't bet on it though
Playing cards are the Devil's
Something or other
Something or other.
Does not tell me very much.
Please be specific.
Please be specific
When you talk about these things
You'll be misconstrued
Else all is unclear
You'll be misconstrued
That's what mum used to say
And she was so right.
