Asparagus Spears
Unlike Britney's anagram*
Is SPAR, SAUSAGE, SPAR!
*PRESBYTERIANS
Is Spar, sausage, spar!
I've got ten bucks on this match
Fought in my stomach
Twixt good and evil
Lies the one right thing to do
Find it and be smart.
Find it, and be smart
About it! My mother's words
When things went missing!
When things went missing
We all dumped our drawers out!
But did not find much.
But did not find much.
Even while cruising the WEB
No answers out there...
No answers out there
For the real questions we have -
Just product advice.
Just product advice.
That's all the ads should contain.
No flashy trimmings.
No flashy trimmings
Accompany Dad's turkey.
Meat is all you eat.
Meat is all you eat
When you're a Tyrannosaur
No veggies for him
No veggies for him
Till he's eaten all his sweets!
He's been so naughty!
He's been so naughty
Santa puts coal in stocking
No sugarplums, kid
No sugarplums, kid-
Your teeth lare all blackening
And look at those hips!
And look at those hips!
My beautiful rose bushes
All need a good trim.
All need a good trim?
Place your heads in lawnmower
Hope you like crew cuts
Hope you like crew cuts-
This vessel sails tomorrow
With just three on board
With just three on board,
We managed to round the Horn
In a howling gale.
In a howling gale
Is no time to start to think
Is the roof secure?
Is the roof secure?
Or is security at
Best an illusion?
