He's red-faced and wet
After his time in the bath
Catching a spider.
Catching a spider
Requires good running shoes
And a machine gun
And a machine gun
Fell out of the window and
Squashed him - what a shame!
Squashed him - what a shame
But that gross, disgusting slug
Ate my petunias
Atte my petunias
And then my precious bean shoots
- I really hate slugs.
I really hate slugs,
They are so slimy looking
It makes your flesh crawl
It makes your flesh crawl.
Slugs in the kitchen, they squidge
Under the door - yeuch!
Under the door you c-
an see them massing to strike.
Hordes of murd'rous slugs!
Hordes of murd'rous slugs!
What a nightmare I just had,
Thank God I woke up!
Thank God I woke up
Before the rising waters
Reached up to my chin!
Reached up to my chin
And carefully wiped away
Part of my dinner
Part of my dinner
Just landed on the clean floor
The dog's delighted
The dog's delighted.
The cat has just been given
His marching orders!
His marching orders:
"Left face, right face, about face"
have made me dizzy.
"Have" made me dizzy.
"Have some of this"... "Some of that!"
Don't know where to turn!
Don't know where to turn,
Why didn't I use Map Quest?
I need directions!
I need directions
So I can always produce
A perfect cheesecake!
A perfect cheesecake,
Firm enough, smooth, bit of tang,
Sheer bliss in the mouth
Sheer bliss in the mouth
The texture of an oyster
Repulsive to some
Repulsive to some,
Hiram the slug-bodied boy
Just wants to be loved
