This was from McD's (in detail) Is this social problem?

THIS is from Wal-MArt

Well, Emily didn't like me from the outset at Wal-Mart. I can't understand how everyone else could talk to me but her. I begged her and paid her money to like me, which she turned down. I also stood by the fitting room instead of working to watch her in her nearby dept. I got poor eval for not producing. In addition, my dept mgr said the thing w/ Emily can't continue or we can't work together. I shouted, "I'm sorry you think everything's your damn business!" I got written up when a customer complained. Then came a coupla months where I temporarily forgot about Emily. Management said I was doing better. However, all this time, I was looking for a reason to explode bc of Emily and Melissa gave it to me (cart of returns?). I cursed her out and physically assaulted the fitting room pole. Emily did not like me.

THIS was from college:

When I first started at college, everyone talked to me but Jessica. Before I met Jessica, I behaved myself and was on good terms with everyone. Then I met Jessica, who disliked me from DAY 1 w/o ever giving it a chance. I just didn’t get it and grew jealous as she talked to other people. I begged her and gave her $$$, which just disgusted her. Pretty soon, I cursed out everyone else for an anger outlet and even once screamed obscenities in the coffee shop. I also had a car accident over that girl. In the end, I hit and threw stuff on top of my verbal spewing and that was the last time I been on campus and NOT by choice.

Simply put, it's hard to tolerate even one person not liking me, not that I didn't try.

So now that I made the introduction, I really should change the title of the thread to Journal, but since I can't, I'll make entries anyway, so don't call me obsessive if I rant on LOL.

Now that I'm recovering from the tornado, all I could think of is how to cope w/ Kyra continuing to hurt me. I still care that she never liked me after all that's happened. I know I shouldn't, but I do, and that's y I'm bat **** insane. I dream of the day she comes around, but if she doesn't, she's always my friend in my heart. She had cost me my job by refusing to be my friend. idk how else to explain it. I had predicted I would treat everyone else like **** b4 I cursed out any coworkers. I wish they would understand. I even said not to take it personal bc Kyra was hurting me.

Sometimes, I might pretend not to care that Kyra don't like me, but I do. I still can't tolerate even one person not liking me. I may have realized I was wrong to curse ppl out and treat them like ****, but Kyra had NO reason to hate me. The only ppl who could legitimately hate me are those I treated terribly. Kyra hated me from the outset. That's what I can't accept. Emily came around now even though she disliked me at Wal-Mart, which cost me my job. I'm so glad she accepted my friend request on FB.

As for the aftermath of the tornado, we salvaged most of our stuff by now. What's left is to claim insurance settlements and find a place to move into. Family business is destroyed but there'll be a new place for it. I'm looking forward to the time the town is completely rebuilt in better shape than it ever was. Maybe Home Depot will come back or be replaced by another business. Either way, I'll be applying there again. ppl said there will be another Kyra at my next job and that she'll hurt me just like Kyra did. Well, if it happens, I'll just quit b4 there ever is a problem.

Good. Now print this out and take it to your therapist. That's where you will find the best help for your symptoms so you can put this all behind you and get on with a much happier life.

Add this to what you print out for your therapist.

This is the very first post/thread you made on A2k back in January, 2009.

My point exactly. I was looking for a reason to explode and used the cart of returns as an excuse

I suppose a workplace is a random group of people put together. Since we can't choose our coworkers, there will be people who won't like us. We prolly won't like everyone either. Besides, people are all too different for everyone to like everyone. I can't handle that. Kyra may not have hurt me deliberately, but I couldn't stand it when she didn't like me. Of course, my thinking isn't flexible enough growing up to grasp that it's impossible for anyone to be liked by everyone. Everything was black and white for me. People said if I was nice and everything, everyone would like me. They also threw around, "Everyone likes her" or "Everyone likes him." Taking it literally, I thought if I acted a certain way, I won't be short a single person.

Whenever someone didn't like me, I thought it was something I did wrong. Most of the time, it wasn't. The reason had nothing to do with me, but I had no way of knowing that. I remember back in high school and before, I would spend all day trying to figure out why someone didn't like me. I would replay every interaction I had w/ that person in my head in fruitless effort to find out what I did wrong. Then I would get angry and curse out teachers. In college, cursing out teachers would have more consequences, so I did what I woulda never thought of doing before: curse out classmates instead when Jessica didn't like me. When Emily and Kyra disliked me, I cursed out coworkers so I wouldn't have to curse out management. Even as I could now understand that I shouldn't expect everyone to like me, I can't help the way I feel.

Old habits die hard. Of course, there is a possibility that Kyra hurt me bad enough that there's no way I could behave myself. I didn't understand at that time how serious it was when I screamed at the boss. I initially thought I was just loud when I "apologized" but it was for a rage outlet. SOmetimes, I'm not even aware of what I'm feeling. I could know I'm feeling something, but it's not till later that I find out it's anger. Anyway, when I returned to work, I got ostracized and I didn't understand why. I wanted people to understand that Kyra hurt me even if I screamed on purpose. I wanted people to stand by me and management to make Kyra like me. Don't management have the power at work? I get called in and everything, but ppl avoid me when I go in. I was angry that I got all that consequence after Kyra hurt me but Kyra got away with degrading me.

btw, I forgot to add the part where they called corporate on me at McD's just for begging and paying Kyra to like me:

I worked at the store level, aiight? Everyone used to talk to me but Katy. Yeah, that totally sucks bc I can't tolerate even one person not liking me. Katy even said we're not friends when I tried to talk to her. One day, I begged her and paid her $$$ for a whole hour on my day off. She got increasingly annoyed. Management threatened to send me home. Hello! It's my day off. Then her friend came to see her on her break and I tried to join them, but Katy won't let me sit down. I went, "When will you allow us to be friends?"

"Never," she replied. I then asked Katy's friend to make Katy like me and she said she can't. Then I ordered food with the money I tried to pay Katy that she turned down. While eating, I shouted, "If Katy won't play with me, I want my mommy!" A manager's 9 y/o son asked his mother if she was sure I worked there.

The next day, the store manager said she can't have me behave that way and she's calling corporate on me. If she didn't know the 2 of us, she'd think I'm in love with her. I went, "I'm not a dyke!" My coworker said she didn't mean me and I shouted, "Do NOT call my friend Katy a dyke!" I demanded to be transferred. The store manager did call corporate and corporate didn't end up doing anything. Why she got to call corporate for?

I am concerned about you . . .

Your outbursts are escalating.

Higher authorities are being notified about your behavior.

If you don't get this obsession (with being liked by everyone) under control, you are going to attract the attention of the law.

Please think of the consequences of your behavior!!

So she called corporate on me bc I'm harassing a staff member?

When was the last appointment you attended with your therapist?

When is your next scheduled appointment with your therapist?

Every week now lol

Just found out Kyra and the manager is distantly related. Office politics killed me I guess. The manager prolly dislikes everyone Kyra dislikes.

Do YOUR relatives dislike everyone who U dislike????





David

No they don't. And my boss didn't hate me from the outset even though Kyra did. However, she ENDED UP not liking me.

DD: u owe it to yourself
to STOP making disturbances
so that u will not get people mad at u.

Do u recognize that u have very similar patterns (of getting people mad at u)
at job after job, and that sometimes u get fired
and u DON 'T like that ???

My grandfather used to say:
"If u can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all."




David

How could she not like me? How could she ALLOW Kyra to hurt me?

All I know is my boss used to like me until Kyra hurt me. Then she let her.

I don't know what happened in your case,
but I can remember times when I saw guys do things or say things
of which I disapproved, I felt bad about, and as a result,
I silently disliked the offender. I remained silent because
he did not say nor do anything to ME, directly.
I was only a witness.


At least once, the bad guy noticed my silent dislike a few weeks later.
I was pleased. I remember him saying: "U don't like me" as he walked away.
That was true.








I don't know enuf about the circumstances to comment about that.
What woud U have done, if u were her ?





David