Didn't you ever wanna destroy yourself the way someone else destroyed you?

Forums: Mental Health, Friendship Issues, Severe Depression
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HOw do I stop? She didn't like me from DAY 1 and although it's only her personal opinion, she hurt me. No matter how I begged and paid her $$$, it wouldn't work. Now I can't even get out of bed in the morning. Everyone else used to talk to me but her. Now no one does bc I treat them like crap for a rage outlet. I even flip out on the boss. AND I been eating ALOT bc my coworker hurt me. idk y she don't like me since it's from the outset. She didn't even know me. She never gave it a chance. Sometimes, I would stand there and stare at her for a long period of time hoping she'd come around. Am I pathetic or what?

btw, I got bad consequence for what I did. I've been written up for cursing out coworkers. Corporate got called bc I begged and paid a coworker to like me. I got suspended for screaming at the boss publicly. Strangely enough, they didn't do squat for me staring at that girl. I'm glad for THAT part.

And as important as any job is to me, once I get one, friendship becomes more important. Even after the tornado, I can't get rid of this feeling. It's understandable a few ppl deleted me from facebook.

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,679 • Replies: 13

@dirrtydozen22,

Hon, you need professional help.

I think people have kinda danced around this with you, but this is serious. If you cannot get out of bed in the morning, if this is taking this much of a hold of you, I fear you're becoming depressed if you aren't already. These thoughts require a professional for you to sort them through. I would hate for you to act on them - I think you've got a lot to offer, you're just troubled. Please get some help.

2 Replies

@jespah,

I kno, right? It feels like that coworker was depressing me. I like things fair and just and to not like someone from the outset is unjust. I can't dislike someone w/o a legit reason such as they treated me like ****.

0 Replies

@jespah,

I agree with Jespah, ddozen, quite strongly. These thoughts are cyclic and are physically depressing you. Please seek help.
You have said you have been diagnosed as bi-polar. There are treatments for that, some of them quite new and useful.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

I agree in urging u to get the help
of a psychologist. U will lead a happier life, if u do. Good luck.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

A psychiatrist is the one who can prescribe meds and knows the most about the pros and cons re different meds.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

A psychiatrist is the one who can prescribe meds
and knows the most about the pros and cons re different meds.

I know. I have no opinion of whether meds r necessary or not. Its possible.

David

0 Replies

@dirrtydozen22,

Your letting out RAGE,
is obviously self-destructive.

0 Replies

@dirrtydozen22,

If all else fails, this might go on for years...
You have to bite the bullet, find new friends and be humble, you gotta find some virtue in stoic betterment of yourself... Or, turn your rage inward, bring it to tears and attack something completely immune to you, then you will find tomorrow looks better, because no-one was hurt and you let it all out.

Walls are best, knuckles may suffer.
Punch bags are excellent, though it takes longer.
Doors, not so good, plus it costs.

Remember or try to see that the forces outside your control in the world play a vast part in all this and even the other people do not see all that. They go home, they eat their Pizza and watch terminator 2 for the 12th time.

Oh and that girl... You were being screwed with differently than ever before, it was not you. We know that. Same crap happened to me once.. Inside it feels weird.

If it does'nt come to tears, punchbag training really helps with ignoring people and 'getting on'.

1 Reply

@nothingtodo,

Nothingtodo, this poster hasn't posted in quite a long time, but has an extensive posting history. There is a poster that may be her posting recently (or not), similar problems, a lot of threads.

A bit of a review can be helpful when you answer troubled posters.

2 Replies

@ossobuco,

Well I am quite certain it is not upsetting for her/him, so I am not concerned.

I suppose friend builders would say .. Thank you. .. Read into that as you will.

0 Replies

@ossobuco,

Who else would that be that is troubled?

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@dirrtydozen22,

dirrtydozen22 wrote:

HOw do I stop? She didn't like me from DAY 1 and although it's only her personal opinion, she hurt me. No matter how I begged and paid her $$$, it wouldn't work. Now I can't even get out of bed in the morning. Everyone else used to talk to me but her. Now no one does bc I treat them like crap for a rage outlet. I even flip out on the boss. AND I been eating ALOT bc my coworker hurt me. idk y she don't like me since it's from the outset. She didn't even know me. She never gave it a chance. Sometimes, I would stand there and stare at her for a long period of time hoping she'd come around. Am I pathetic or what?

btw, I got bad consequence for what I did. I've been written up for cursing out coworkers. Corporate got called bc I begged and paid a coworker to like me. I got suspended for screaming at the boss publicly. Strangely enough, they didn't do squat for me staring at that girl. I'm glad for THAT part.

And as important as any job is to me, once I get one, friendship becomes more important. Even after the tornado, I can't get rid of this feeling. It's understandable a few ppl deleted me from facebook.

Well facebook is part of your problem! Lack of a good shrink might be the other... Seriously, get a grip before you're fired!!

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Strange. It's usually the opposite of your topic subject. Usually it is, "Didn't you ever want to destroy someone, the way they destroyed you?"

0 Replies

Didn't you ever wanna destroy yourself the way someone else destroyed you?

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