Really difficult decision to make - NEED HELP

Tough spot man.
I'm a big advocate for honesty.
It is the hardest thing to do, but in the end, we can't avoid it.
It will only make things worse to hide this sort of thing.
You don't have to make a choice, other than that, yet.

Yep, honesty.

Get it out in the open. It will get out there at some point, anyway -- may as well make it more or less on your own terms. Assure your wife that your daughter will always be loved and provided for. And, if you can, assure your wife that you will do what you can to make things amicable for the sake of your daughter.

I concur with the others. The truth will come out at some point, but more importantly, it will become intolerable for you to keep living two lives and it's not fair to anyone involved. It's very sad about the kids, but with the right parenting and split up situation, it can be done. My SIL left my daughter when she was 4 months pregnant with her last child and she got through it, so likely your wife will, too.

Also important is that we all live the life we were meant to, and you owe it to yourself to do that. Best of luck to you.

I agree, but don't leave your wife (and past life) to jump into the arms of another.

This is a BIG step - from all aspects. Be sure you are prepared for it and are strong enough to be true to yourself. But do it for YOU, not for another person.

Can you seek out a counselor/listener who specializes in this kind of personal transitions? Best to have a "life coach" beside you.

It's hard to be the one who feels a lack of love from their beloved, and knows something is wrong. The kindest thing you can do is tell her that yes - something has changed - you don't feel the love for her you felt before and it's serious.

If you've been cheating physically, you owe it to yourself and her to stop at least for a while, while you explore / consider the true status of your feelings for your wife and children. I mean - if you need to leave her, you will - but ending a marriage and leaving your family are too huge to do blithely. Please go to a marriage counselor and get what help you can so you don't compound the mistake of cheating with the mistake of leaving reflexively and prematurely.

If you really love this man - and if you really will be happy with a guy - a month or two of evaluation of your marriage won't change that. At the end of the day, you know you treated yourself, your wife and your children the best you could by taking this seriously and not hopping out of the marriage thoughtlessly.

If, after contemplation (and a period of not cheating), you still feel the same way, start divorce procedures - but remember you'll always be daddy to a couple of people and a parenting partner with your wife. Try to maintain cordiality.

Be honest.

Good luck, and my hopes for lasting happiness.

you make a lot of sense... thank you very much for your help Lash... it is really hurting me inside as i never ever thought i would fall for another guy... I will take yours and all others advice and work thorugh it... As for the cheating part, i havent actually met this guy in person as we live apart... but really want to pursue him as in my heart i feel different and i never felt this when i met my wife (that is also a very confusing thing for me >_<)

thanks

Just because you have romantic/sexual/attraction/admiration feelings for someone is no reason to throw away your obligations.

Having a pregnant wife can put immense pressure on the marriage. Same sex "crushes" are quite common, no matter the age.

Please go to a counselor who can help you sort out all your feelings. . it sounds like you have a lot to deal with. Don't make any quick decisions until you find out who you are and what you want/need to lead a satisfying life.