Mental issues

Hi this is kind of new to me. Im desperate lonely and hurt. I have had some challenging opticals in my life. My whole life even as a kid I always end up in a situation where my feelings are put on the back burner. My husband dont understand me, nor do I feel that he want to. If your wife is crying her eyes out, tears falling, do you tell her to talk to her therapist or do you try and console her. I didnt get as much as a hug. Yesterday was the straw that broke the camels back. We were arguing, and he hit below the belt. He's aware of my problem with depression, he's aware that I wanted to commit suicide in the past.... in the heat of the arguement, he kicked his can of beer towards me, called me crazy and said that he was tired of me. I have been through a lot with him. I actually thought about running my car to a pole, but I prayed and that thought left. Im a very strong person. Im always supportive of others, especially my husband. He later apologized for "the things" he said last night. This morning I woke up in tears, crying non-stop, no hug, just ignored for most of the morning. What does he do? he tell me to talk to my therapist. I dont have no one I can talk to and be 100% honest about everything that has happen, and what's crazy is Im afraid to talk about it to my therapist. Im a christian, and my beliefs and faith is strong. I dont want and will not harm myself. Im just very very hurt and I dont think he care.....Whom ever have positive, honest advice, please comment, thanks.