Please help educate this aspiring wingnut.

Ceili
The chickenhawk bird I used to see a lot of as a boy was a beautiful, noble bird. I don't think you need worry about what has been unfairly put on its name. I would, were I you, forget about what has been said here and use the name anyway.

BLAME CLINTON!

Blame Hillary!

Blame Clinton's appetite for sex for all that's wrong with the democrats and the rest of the world.

Blame Bill Clinton's penis!

be jealous that other people can get sloppys from rubenesque Oregonian's with big hair who shop at the Gap!

Also the liberal nature of 60s public attitudes are responsible for the nation's moral decay today - Which of course Republican ideals are the proper antidote.

Thank you all (and ya'll) for the helpful hints, especially about being a chickenhawk * and hauling around a couple of Bibles**.

McTag, (Hey Mickey!!) don't forget to tell me ahead of time if you are going to be involved in some kind of multi-million dollar scandal so I can stop being your friend and just be a passing aquaintance.

Right now, I'm looking to have a secret black daughter, apparently that's okay with MY NEW GROUP (I am so proud to be a neo-con! Really I am.)
I wrote a song:
You cannot do the boogaloo
with a ya-ya in a dress of blue,
but you can preach segregation
while you practice copulation
but let there be no mention of
your mixed race baby's name.


That's family values!

What I wish now is that somebody would write something liberal so I could practice my new smug answers!

(The sluggish economy) (The world trade deficit) (The plague of disease) (The crime rate) (The high/low/middling rate of housing starts) ( The recent lack of success of both the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs) is the fault of (Bill Clinton) (William Jefferson Clinton) (the Clintons) (Bill and Hill) (the Clintonistas) (the most recent Administration) and their (Liberal) (Liberal liberal) (Ultra-Liberal) (sniveling liberal) (ANGRY Liberal) (wussy Liberal) (tax and spend Liberal) (Spend and Tax Liberal) ways of forcing their (immoral lifestyles and ideas) (big government wacko jacko schemes) (class warfare innuendos and smears) upon the (vast) (hugh) (substantial) Majority of (God-fearing) (God-loving) (Bible Believing) true (citizens) (denizens) (voters) of this (Republic) (Nation) (Country). And we are going to change all that by (cutting taxes) (making cuts in taxes) (reducing the tax rates) (slashing, dicing, slicing, chopping, and pureeing any God-damned tax within reach) and giving everyone a (gun) (lots of guns) (a gun and voter registration list) and a (Bible) (a New Testament) (locator map of the nearest pro-abortion doctors offices.)

How I'm doing? Do I sound like Hannity or (I would be so proud) Rush?

Very truly true,
Joe (wrapped a little too tightly in the Flag) Nation


*I can't be one of those, I'm a vet. I guess I will make up for it by being for cuts in Veterans Services on the grounds that, well, hell who needs grounds??)

**I know I don't have to actually read it, just say I'm in a Bible study group heh -heh like the President.)

as i have spend the past week in the hospital, I thought you would enjoy this observation, when they decided to move me out of the ICU into the intensive care unit for heart problems they told me the unit was called the Progessive Care Unit. I appreciated the "Progressive" label.

Damn! I am so glad to see your hairy face!!

Welcome back to the land of " I don't know anything, but I'll tell you anyway."

Joe

Joe - you're welcoming Dys into my family?

If the economy is actually recovering, why is it no new jobs are being created? How is that a recovery, since all the money being made must be going to the big boys. I don't wanna hear from tax breaks. It has been over a year since I got a paltry rebate. And the higher stock market is not adding much to my 401k so far. My wife is looking for a job. What are you gonna do for her?

I make $15/hour, work full time. My health insurance s $369/month. What are you gonna do for me?

nice, now he's acting like a true neo-con - Issue Avoidance!

Why, invade Syria, of course!

uh

Ahem, I appreciate the opportunity to answer your specious and whining inquiries. In the first place you both ought to be glad you've got a job in this great country of ours. My advice to both of you is um, the free marketplace of ideas. Edgar, your wife is free to start her own business and hire her own employees if she wants a job, or why doesn't she just stay home and be a proper homemaker, you know, the deliquency rate began to rise once women began to work outside of the home. It's a fact.
and you LittleK why don't you shop around and find another company who will insure you for less??? HUH, why not ??? HUh, (sneer) and how come you don't stop hanging around with your gun-hating lesbian friends and find a nice young man to support you. Huh, too busy being free, I guess, and with all those independant ways, why in my day we didn't tolerate such behavior, you know the deliquentcy rate began to rise when the women of this nation began to work outside the home. That's a fact. I saw it on Fox 82% of the poorest 9% of families of the 15% lowest earning groups were headed by gun-hating, liberal single women who worked and left their latchkey children at home alone.
What are we going to do for you? I'm calling your father, that's what, little girl!!

And there are plenty of jobs, Edgar, why I saw a sign at the PickaBagel the other day that they were looking for a delivery boy part time. Why don't you take a second job there? And next year Edgar we are going to give you another $368.00 in cold cash for both you and your little woman. That's some hay where I come from!!

Okay, you're answered. Now go to bed, sleep tight. Our bombers are protecting you.

Joe

Joe, how's this for something liberal?

"Just because it is the law doesn't make it right."

Now I have a complaint--you didn't put the choice "All of the above."
I couldn't pick just one, sort of like potato chips.

Joe -- If you're determined to change your politics, then I think you need to change your name to fit. "Nation" is, of course, perfect...but "Joe" is too working-class.

Anybody got any ideas?

Oh, and I have a Bible I'll loan you. Just ignore my comments in the margins. And you'll have to highlight different passages, I'm sure.

Question:What's the difference between a working American and a pizza in todays economy?

Answer: A pizza can feed a family of four.