6
   

Huge Conspiracy

 
 
PHen
 
Reply Fri 22 Apr, 2011 07:13 pm
I have made a truly shocking discovery. The Moon; It does not exist. What we see is an extremely high resolution photograph, put in place around 1,500 years ago by a supreme alien race, from a star known to us as Gliese 411. It is 8.29 light years from Earth. In reality it (the moon) is only around 2.4 inches in diameter, but made to appear much larger by a very powerful magnifying glass.

There are a few issues which we do not understand as of yet:
1) How does light from the sun not focus through the magnifying glass, onto the disc, and destroy it?
2) How is the system kept in place? I suspect that the disc is hooked onto the magnifier via
rigid bars, but even so, how is it not flung off into space, or pulled into the Earth?
3) How does the system give the illusion of being of much greater mass than it really is?
4) How is the system not damaged, or destroyed, by meteorites?


These questions, and many more, are evidence of how limited our intelligence is relative to this magnificent alien race. For this reason I believe we should bow to what they might possibly want; for us to worship them. They clearly are an amazing race of creatures, and could (I guess) have us extinct at a whim. My views are based on scientific observations, you can be assured. I’m not going to go into them in detail now (or ever). The way I see it, other so called “conspiracy theories” give miniscule detail with regards evidence, so why should I? All I’ll say is that I expanded on the hypothesis that the 1969 moon landing was faked. I believe they really intended to go there, however when they performed their first fly by and realised the ‘truth’, they were forced to revert to plan B. Ever since this shocking discovery in 1959, there has been a massive cover up by all of the worlds leading astronomists. I believe that the time is nigh to finally reveal the truth.
The main ramification of these discoveries is that we should worship our mighty overlords. I suspect that they have perfected worm-hole travel; however this is currently just silly unfounded speculation (unlike the rest of my theory). I suspect that they are getting a little peeved at the lack of worship despite our technological leap, and I fear that they might soon decide to wipe out our civilisation. There is no point in sacrificing bulls to this race. As they are over 8ly away, that would be stupid. The obvious solution is that we put all our money and efforts into creating a spectacular laser light show aimed in the direction of their star. The sooner we get started on this project the better. It will take the light from our enormous laser worship candle (ELWOC) over 8 years to reach them, so the sooner we send the message, the better chance our civilisation has of avoiding catastrophe. I know a lot of people will say that I am very likely to be wrong, but what if I’m right? Is it really worth the risk?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 3,083 • Replies: 27

 
LionTamerX
 
  3  
Reply Fri 22 Apr, 2011 07:17 pm
@PHen,
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 22 Apr, 2011 07:18 pm
@PHen,
PHen wrote:

2) How is the system kept in place? I suspect that the disc is hooked onto the magnifier via
rigid bars, but even so, how is it not flung off into space, or pulled into the Earth?



Are you still falling for the old "the moon orbits the earth" fallacy? If so, you should realize that implies the earth is some kind of sphere, or something.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Apr, 2011 07:25 pm
I have never seen a conspiracy I could not believe in.
0 Replies
 
fresco
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Apr, 2011 01:49 am
@PHen,
Laughing
Not as huge as the "God" conspiracy !
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Apr, 2011 02:44 am
Wait a minute . . . it ain't no conspiracy if it's true, right?
0 Replies
 
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Apr, 2011 11:33 am
@LionTamerX,
Inspirational song, hilarious!
0 Replies
 
PHen
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Apr, 2011 11:40 am
@fresco,
Not quite, although it would be awkward if the aliens came to destroy us all on the same day as God came to announce the end of the world.
Seriously though this is a fun response to Pascals wager. Religious person says, without a hint of irony, "Thats just ridiculous"!
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Apr, 2011 08:10 pm
@PHen,
Quote:
this is a fun response to Pascals wager
WHAT ???? Its not true ???? You were just toying with me ??????

I have been up every night taking measurements for nothing.....well I am not amused...you will be hearing from my lawyer arsehole !!!

PHen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 06:46 am
@Ionus,
You are weak of mind my friend, can't you see I'm am testing the strength of your belief?! If we are to get ELWOC built, we need to be STRONG people!
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 07:08 am
@PHen,
Sad I'll try harder...you'll be proud of me.....just you see.....
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 02:45 pm
@Ionus,
Ah but it's not me you have to please, it's our future overlords and their super advanced civilization. We'll need to recruit some truely brilliant minds if we are to save humanity. People like Stephen Hawking, Christopher Hitchens, George Bush, Jamie Redknapp...
roger
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 02:53 pm
@PHen,
Who the hell is Jamie Redneck?
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 04:00 pm
@roger,
He's a man who knows a thing or two about making time stand still, as the following quote demonstrates:

"Centre forwards have the ability to make time stand still. And when Chopra got the ball, it literally did just that"

If we can recruit this man and obtain some of his secrets, then maybe we stand a chance of overcoming this alien race. Time literally standing still would have some enormous benefits. He could play a key part in our campaign for freedom! If he refuses, we could hopefully track down a centre forward with this astonishing talent.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 05:57 pm
So . . . PHen . . . is that as in peahen and peacock, or is that P as in pee?
Ionus
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 06:00 pm
@Setanta,
Its Sven with a speech impediment .
0 Replies
 
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 06:08 pm
@Setanta,
It's whatever you want it to be, although it's meant to be the first letter of my first name (P) followed by the first three letters of my surname (Hen). What's my name? You'll have to guess I suppose.
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Apr, 2011 06:18 pm
@PHen,
Yes, I'll put that on my "to do" list .
PHen
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Apr, 2011 04:27 am
@Ionus,
You have a "To Do" list? Our campaign to build ELWOC could benefit from your organizational skills.
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Apr, 2011 04:32 am
@PHen,
No . . . i don't have to guess . . . i am capable of living out the rest of my days without giving it another thought . . . besides, i prefer to think of you as a peahen . . .

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b3/Mayuuraa-peahen.jpg
 

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