Im bisexual and am seeing a married bisexual man

This infromation is coming by way of a man who is a lair/cheat and he is not only lying to his wife but is placing her health at high risk behind her back.

Sorry but the numbers of times this couple had have sex or whether she herself had cheated is an open question and almost beside the point as if her husband know about it at least she is no keeping him in the dark.

Exactly. The person who is reporting that the wife isn't interested in sex, is cheating, whatever, well, the reporter is not reliable.

We see this all the time (sorry). Same sex, opposite sex, it doesn't matter. When you are the third party in a marriage, and for some reason the marriage isn't ending -- guess what?! It's usually that way because the person doing the cheating is happy with the status quo. It's fun to sleep with more that one person (to them). So they keep doing it, and will do and say nearly anything in order to avoid upsetting the apple cart.

Does this guy love you?

Then he should prove it, and at least take steps one way or the other. The stalemate does no one any good except for him. He is living the Life of Reilly and you are letting him.

Stand up for yourself. If you want a relationship, then you deserve full-time and full attention.

I'm turned off completely by the crude possessiveness your post exhibits. Maybe nobody needs so much clarity?

Lots of folks are happier in part-time semi-relationships. Life offers so many other things.

Oh yeah and bisexuals live in that shadow zone by definition.

Maybe she doesn't want to have sex with or enjoy sex with him, specifically. I mean if he's enjoying making passionate love to a guy - maybe he can't quite wrangle up the same passion or enthusiasm for a woman.
Maybe their sex is lacklustre and infrequent because he doesn't really get into it and as a result she can't really get into it.
A woman can tell when a man desires her. And I can imagine there'd be no bigger turn-off than being the woman having sex with a man who was fantasizing about having sex with a man.
It's probably not much of a turn-on for her and maybe that's why she has affairs - I would guess with totally straight men.

Her husband shouldn't lie to her - especially not when she's asking him a direct question.

If this guy is happy, then hey, bully for him, but there are a lotta people out there who would, if they would stop a moment, realize they're being used.

I recognize that there are people who enjoy being used. I'm not one to tell them not to be. But the OP is getting fed a bunch of lines about how the wife isn't responsive or willing, etc. Probably also hearing that old chestnut, "She doesn't understand me."

And hey, if he wants part-time, that's what he's got. But people who don't want things to change generally don't ask for advice -- they just keep on keepin' on.

That's the point that you keep missing: the OP wants to know if his boyfriend is happy in his marriage. The OP isn't asking if he himself is happy with the arrangement.

Can you pause and think maybe you judge others by your blinkered view.? "Full-time" "full-attention" sounds like hell on earth to me personally. Heaven to you? You got another party who agrees? Go with it

Here's what the guy is asking:


He says, "I am confused about what his feelings are for me". He also says, "I don't expect him to leave his marriage if he is happy, but I don't know if he is. I would appreciate your input."

My input is - the guy is feeding the OP a bunch of lines. What are the married guy's feelings? I have no idea but his actions are a lot like those I've seen many times before, that this is a fun, perfect arrangement for him and he doesn't wish to change it. If he has to say he loves the OP (and we all know that people lie about that like rugs, at times), in order to maintain the status quo, he may very well do so.

And -- interesting perspective you have of me! Gadzooks I don't want anyone bothering me 24/7. But I do have a weird idea about loyalty and being loved in an exclusive manner, at least when it comes to being sexually active with someone. Then again, I am a married person and that's what you vow when those things happen, yes?

If the married dude wants > 1 lover, hey, he's a big boy. But he's also violating his marriage, hurting his wife and potentially putting her into very real physical peril. If his wife is as unfaithful as the OP claims (and this is something we are getting as third-hand knowledge, and the source is a suspect one), then she's putting him and the OP into danger, too.

So why the hell is this marriage continuing?

Oh, yeah. 'Cause, er, maybe the OP isn't loved, and is just a piece on the side, like so many other people have been? I am sorry, OP, but I am not seein' the love here.

And, no, in anticipation of your objection, I am not suggesting they be velcroed together. But a smidgen of attention and breaking off a previous arrangement that is supposedly not working, well, those would be nice, eh?

Calm down. I don't know you and I couldn't get personal if I wanted to so calm down.

Here's what I'm thinking, the OP's boyfriend may or may not be happy in his marriage. He may be feeding the OP lines about the wife. But walking out on 3 kids? For another man?

He's gonna be a laughingstock. And a pauper because the wife is sure to take him to the cleaners for all he's got.

It doesn't matter if he has feelings for the OP or not he's going to stay put. Just my

I am totally calm. And yeah, you're right, he's gonna stay put. So the whole line about not having sex with the wife, yadda yadda yadda, well, those are pretty things to say to the OP (who asked whether the married guy had feelings for him, etc.) but, essentially, meaningless. But the OP did ask whether it appeared that the married guy had feelings for him.

I think you and I are, at bottom, agreeing -- feelings, shmeelings -- the married guy is not going anywhere. And this is a dead end for the OP if he wants more. I do hope the OP does not want more.

Chuck, the most you can honestly say is he REPORTS that...it's his wife that doesn't want to have sex, has had affairs before, and told him only when she and her friend had a falling out'
Because he SAYS IT doesn't necessarily mean it's true! (it doesn't mean it's false either) ... it is an ASSERTION, not an established fact.