problem with boyfriend

Forgive me if I answer wrong but I am going based on what I got outside of all your abbreviations.

So you are 25, with a 23 year old for one year, whom is still in school. You want to marry him, but he didn't want to marry you until he was drunk and admitted he would like to marry you in about 10 years. Now you aren't sure if you want to marry him or get your PhD. Not that it seems to matter as your parents are picking out different men for you to see?? Sorry I am a little confused... but based on this my advice would be

1) you are 25, an adult, your parents cannot force you to stop dating someone and pick another person. Sit them down and nicely tell them to butt out of it.

2) You have been together a year... give it time before you think marriage.. What happens if you marry him, move in and 6 months later he is under your skin because of how different you both live. Being 23 the odds are he doesn't know what he wants... those are few and far between.

3) If, what I got it correct, you want to tell him that you want to get married sooner than 10 years because your parents are picking different men, I'd advise not to. It sounds a little creepy.. you can however talk to him about it without mentioning the whole parents thing, nobody wants to marry into a family where they automatically thinks their in-laws hate them before they walk in the door... just tell him your life plan, tell him you want to get married in 5 years or 3 or whatever. If he bales, then he wasn't the right guy anyway!

Good luck

I only understood part of that whole thing as well. Good grief, what are all those abbreviations?

I think she is text messaging, but in english as a second language. I understand the abbreviations, but the content still does not make complete sense.

Perhaps some of this difficulty in understanding (beside the obvious language barrier and texting abbrevs) is that the OP's cultural norms are different than ours here in North America. Are you from another culture where it's still normal for parents to pick out mates for their daughters?

It sounds to me like you have a need to get married before 10 yrs. Perhaps you might want to have a discussion with your boyfriend and tell him that you don't want to wait 10 yrs for marriage. If you want to get your PhD that might be relevant or not with your plans for marriage. It might be relevant but your words are not clear to me.

Marriage doesn't make you feel secure. Security has to come from within.
Those that seek security from marriage often are sadly disappointed. A commitment in a relationship comes from both people making a pledge. A marriage ceremony is just a formality the celebrates it. The marriage is only secure when each person is capable of making a commitment. Some people need that formality, others don't. It sounds as though you do and you don't want to wait 10 yrs.

You have to decide what is right for you, no matter how much you like your boyfriend. Maybe 10 yrs is not suitasble for you. If so, you need to make this known to him now and speak up now.

Sorry if I'm off-the-mark, but it's very hard to know from what you wote.

When it's a younger man, two years at 23 and 25 is a BIG gap.

He is not where you are, for sure.

Either he mans up and gets engaged to you or you need to find a new man - before your parents do.

The timing is just not right, dear.

Thats the biggest load off rubbish I have ever heard. If the guy was 16 I'd agree... but at 23?????

My wifes old sewing teacher used to suggset to her class of high school girls that they consider marrying younger men. I've got a pretty good idea why.