jealousy issues...is this normal

Uh, why would you care what someone who doesn't like you does, or thinks, particularly if it's not about you?

Sounds like it is time to go back and read your diary thread, DD.

Hope things get better for you.

Simply bc she don't like me. idk but it's weird.

For the newbs,
Based on this, am I crazy beyond help?

I used to be really welcome there. It was at a fast food joint and I could go there to eat on my days off anytime and no one bats an eyelash. They even say hi and stuff like that. However, in the end, I was so unwelcome that the sight of me triggers uneasiness in others. I stopped being allowed to go there on my days off. Or if I do go there, they just ignore me like they don't know me. They even said to go there as a customer, get (eat) my food, and leave. So much for fair weather friends. I know they're not really, but sometimes I feel that way.

When I first started, everyone talked to me but Kira. She just doesn't wanna be my friend. It's hard to bear, so I begged and tried to pay her $$$, which she turned down. They called corporate on me just for that! like wtf? For an anger outlet, I treated other coworkers like shyt, esp those people that Kira DID like. Basically, they had to take my verbal abuse. I got written up and then flicked off my boss for writing me up. Luckily, she didn't see me giving her the finger. I also stared at Kira on my days off. Finally, I screamed at my boss in front of customers for a rage outlet. THey suspended me 2 weeks. When I came back, it was for on-call hours and everyone ostracized me, so I quit.

Thing is, Kira hurt me and no one admit that. I even once pleaded w/ my boss on facebook to make Kira like me. Also, when she won't let me sit at her table, I reported it to my boss who said to find a different table. wtf? I also damaged Andrea's coat bc Kira is her friend and not mine (no one found out.) And lastly, I used to refer to Kira as "my friend" during my normal conversations and once I did that in front of Kira, who denied being my friend. I reported that to the boss as well. No luck.

As for being cheap, when I was begging Kira and paying her money, Jenny said Kira hated her for months initially until she (jeccy) accidentally made coffee wrong and burned some ppl, which Kira thought was funny. Then they were friends. The next day, I purposely made coffee wrong, burned myself, and Kira got disgusted. the fvck?

B4 Kira hurt me, I actually kicked *ss the first several months. Why don't they take that into account when applying consequence for bad behavior the last coupla months?

What does your therapist have to say about it?


In case you're having trouble finding it, here's a link to your diary thread with similar posts.

http://able2know.org/topic/163808-2#post-4490587

Sorry. I have to vent right now bc something new came up. Kyra's so proud of Andrea for enrolling in college next fall. Why did she agree to be Andrea's friend? She hurt me by not being mine. What does she see in her that she doesn't see in me? She's 4 years older than me and 8 years older than her. I don't understand. No wonder I treated Andrea like **** while we worked together. I also did extra nice stuff for Kyra only to be called cheap. WTF!

Well...are you enrolling in college next fall?

It seems that you've already answered your own question. My point is not to be mean, but to point out that even without all the backstory there is to this situation, you /just said/ she was proud of her for enrolling in college next fall. Even if you want to be obstinate, in this instance you already know the reason.

It's like you're saying "I'm enrolling too! why isn't she proud of me??"

(If that IS the situation, however, I withdraw my observation.)

Not as much about college as it is about friendship. Sometimes I hate EVERYONE Kyra likes bc it feels like they stole my place as Kyra's friend. I'm crazy.

I'm beginning to wonder if some of this might be hormone related. Seems like you post these things around the same time each month. Have your doctors ever discussed or done tests for the possibility of a hormone imbalance?

That's bc I'm PMSing lol

Exactly. That's why your doctors should be looking for a hormone imbalance.

Is dyke a bad word to use at work?

Very much YES. Not a work safe word.

Oy, dd22
you really need professional help so you understand that you cannot make
other people like you, not with money, good words or being mean to the people around you. Not everyone is liked by everybody, there are always people out there who cannot stand you, and part of being an adult is that you accept this and move on.

Punishing the ones who like Kyra only got YOU ostracized and not the
others. Your approach to dealing with people is not working and you need - with the help of a professional therapist - find a way to curb your anger
and learn how to deal with rejection, authority and how to conduct yourself in society.

I am afraid you will not learn these things without proper help.

Well, the tornado that hit my town has taught me that there are more important things than friendship w/ Kyra. I was just rethinking the situation and the wrongdoing I've committed.

March 2010
"I can't tolerate even ONE person disliking me, so when someone don't, I do what it takes to change that even if it meant hurting other people. At work, everyone talked to me but Kyra. That really sucked when Kyra didn't like me from DAY 1. So one day, I spent a whole hour begging her and paying her money. She became increasingly annoyed and management tried to explain to me that not everyone's gonna like me. Kyra's just hard to get along with and the more I pressure her, the more she won't like me. Crap like that.

Finally, I was just so angry. I purposely embarrassed the store by shouting, "If Kyra won't play with me, I want my mommy!" A manager's 9 y/o son asked his mother if she was sure I worked there. Did I succeed in embarrassing the store?

The next day, the store manager told me she can't have me behaving like that. If she didn't know the 2 of us, she's think I'm in love with Kyra.
Me: I'm not a dyke!
Another coworker: She didn't mean you.
Me: Do not call my friend Kyra a dyke!
Everyone was looking at us. I was wondering if I were in the wrong on that one. And I'm looking for good answers thanks."

I kinda wish the tornado hit while I still have a job so I'd learn my lesson earlier and keep it.

I'm sorry your house was one of those that was destroyed by the tornado.

I hope you'll find many new opportunities for friendships and jobs as a result of the disaster in your city. Might be a good chance to learn some new skills in the construction field.

Thanks. I'd take anything really. I believe once I can accept that not everyone will like me, I'd be able to do just aobut anything!

Sweetie, the first thing you have to do is to like yourself.
If you like yourself, you feel better about yourself and you won't be all bent out of shape when things happen to you or if someone doesn't reciprocate what you hope or wish for. Just work on liking yourself for now!

I am also very sorry that you lost your home due to the tornado. I only
can imagine how devastating this must be for you and your family.