Not everyone is gonna like you

For myself, I am an introvert. I only open up to someone after I observe them for a length of time. If that person wants to befriend me, there could be a problem, since not only am I not ready to be a friend, but I have a very low quota of people I will be friendly towards. I would be a problem with someone with your needs to have many people "act" like a friend. That is another point. Many people just "act" friendly. I do not like such phoniness, in my opinion. Another reason not to open up to people.

The concept of injustice collecting comes to mind in your post. You seem, in my opinion, to possibly feel a self-rightous anger about being willing to be a friend, yet another person will not reciprocate to your perfect willingness to be a friend. That does not sound fair. However, focussing on the unfairness might be injustice collecting?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200612/injustice-collecting

If the "social contract" at jobs is that everyone should be friendly, and you comply, it can be true that others should reciprocate to your friendliness. However, there is an element of free-will, even at work, and we do not have to be friendly to everyone, fair or not. Sort of like some people ride passed us in a limo, and others in a scooter. The key, I believe, is not to make it a personal affront to your willingness to be friendly. Just consider yourself blessed, since in your life you will likely meet many interesting people.

And, if you feel another person's unwillingness to be friendly is a "rejection," yes it is, but why would you mind, since some of us just like to be friends with platonic "soul mates." Some of us just like others who have a very similar set of experiences, be they school, family, etc., etc. We cannot be all things to all people.

DD2, I have some questions for you.

Why doesn't it bother you that not every single member of A2K posts in your threads? If you have a need to be liked by everyone, why aren't you here with the same methods of campaigning to get every last person involved in your threads so you'll know they like you?

Why is it so different for you on message boards and real life? Why can you easily accept that not everyone on a message board is going to kiss your butt in friendship yet you have such a difficult time with it in real life?

idk, perhaps the ppl I meed IRL is more tangible so it FEELS more real. Besides, just cuz ppl don't post in my threads doesn't mean they hate me but my coworker actually told me she didn't like me when I asked her ywe aren't friends lol.

What is the worst thing that can happen if she won't be your friend?

nothing bad would happen, actually. Bad things only happen when I get angry over it. lol i guess I just shouldn't get angry ne more.

Congratulations. You've just had two bright flashes of the obvious. Some people call them BFO's or light bulb moments.



Just because you've met them in real life doesn't mean they are candidates for friendship. Be more discriminating with your gift of friendship. Trying to make every person a friend, dilutes the value of the truly special people in your life that are your real friends.



Don't think of it as a cause for anger. Think of it as a filter that is sifting out the lumpy things in life so your gravy will be silky smooth.

I'm just wondering if my (former) friends could just be fair weather friends. For instance, at school, when all was well, almost everyone talked to me, but as soon as a classmate refused to be my friend, they ditch me. Of course, I cursed them out or they saw me curse others out, but that's another point. I also hit/threw stuff.

At Wal-Mart, before I ran into a coworker who don't like me, people talked to me, but after I ran into her, they stopped. I know I begged and bribed that coworker like I did that girl at school. I also stared at her from the fitting room, yelled at someone else, and banged my head against the pole, but...

Then at McD's, yet another coworker don't like me. Once again, I incessnatly begged/bribed her, stared at her on my day off, was incredibly rude to others, and yelled at my boss. That's y they stopped talking to me, but...

Would YOU want to be friendly with a person who acted like that, DD2?

no i wouldn't. I didn't think they were fair weather. I only post that bc a girl I used to hang with said they seemed like they were. idk what she was thinking.

The solution to your problem, dirtydozen, is indicated in your thread title itself: Not everyone is gonna like you.

idk how to say this, but remember the girl who didn't like me at McD's? It didn't matter that everyone else talked to me bc I was alreadt short ONE person. Well, I just added her on facebook. Will she accept?

All I got to say: My boss added me back on facebook lol

This is a journal:

I found out recently that I have Borderline. That's y I have problems with anyone not liking me. I actually raise hell over that. Problem is, idk where to go from there. Thing is, I ended up ostracized at work bc of me going off the deep end.

Ok so...at first, most people used to talk to me. In fact, when I first started, every single person talked to me but ONE girl. Now, I have a problem with anyone not liking me. idk y, but I can't accept that not everyone's gonna like me, so I riase hell whenever someone don't. No one is liked by everyone, but I have to be to keep my sanity.

I'll call her Kyra. Kyra liked most other ppl but not me. One day, I begged her and tried to pay her money, which she turned down. They called corporate on me and told me firmly that's unacceptable. That was when other ppl started avoiding me. For an anger outlet, I treated other ppl like sh*t and got written up. When my boss said 2 more write ups and I'm gone, I flicked her off when she turned around (she never ound out.) Then it got to the point I stared at Kyra on my days off and got asked to leave bc I "stalked" her. She was afraid I'ma do something, so she had 2 other ppl add me on FB to watch me.

Finally, I screamed at my boss publicly bc my rage needs outlet. That really sealed the deal. Aside from 2 weeks suspension and ending up w/ on-call hours when I returned, I got completely ostracized. This was a team based environment, but coworkers even refused to lend me a hand when I needed it, slowing down my work. Three weeks after I returned from suspension, I quit. Can anyone tell me why those who used to talk to me ended up ostracizing me?

I remember also windexing Andrea's coat bc Kyra's her friend.

When Kyra gave a few coworkers boxes of chocolate for christmas, I stole a few from them.

Kyra didn't like some of the ppl she's currently friends with. Jane told me Kyra hated her for months until she accidnetly made coffee wrong and burned ppl and Kyra thought it was funny. Anyway, I purposely made coffee wrong and burned myself, but Kyra just got disgusted.

After I quit, Kyra even go out to eat with coworkers outside work. I tried to add her to FB but she ignored me.

Because you're acting very aggressively and people think you could be dangerous to them. And, you know what? They're right! Not only are you dangerous to others, you're a danger to yourself. Need some examples from your post? I assumed these are all from your very short few months of working at MacDonalds and Burger King, but you mentioned Christmas and I think you were posting about being fired from Burger King several months before that. Are these all new incidents in addition to what you've told us had already occurred at Walmart, MacDonalds, Burger King and other places?













DD2, have you told your therapists of these incidents and your motives behind them? If so, what do they have to say about them?

Quite frankly, if you were anywhere near me and acting that way to people around you, I'd keep my distance from you too.

It is time to stop all this self diagnosing and seek out some serious professional help. You need help to resolve the anger issues and get guidance on how better to release angry emotions in ways other than taking it out on yourself or other people.

I recently got my 2nd diagnosis of Borderline and no, I didn't say I got canned from BK. I was laid off and left on good terms. It actually killed them to do this to me. But yeah, everything else is right

I'm glad to hear that it is being taken seriously and that you now have some answers to help you cope with it.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

oh and i 4got 2 mention that I worked at McD's from April 2009 till May 2010 and I got laid off from BK 3 months after quitting McD's. Sorry for the confusion.

Journal:

Thing is, the only time I ever did well is when I didn't run into anyone who don't like me. At Goody's, I never met anyone who don't like me so I kicked ass. In fact, I won customer service award for April 2008. B4 I met Jessica at school, I did fine. My on-campus counselor met me b4 and after I met Jessica. Last time I met w/ that counselor, she said I was totally different (worse) from what I used to be. Even during my first 7 months at McD's, I did fine. Got my raise and everyting and made it to the recognition chart for teamwork. Customers complimented my service. During the first 4 months, I didn't even know Kyra hated me so it didn't take effort to do good. For 3 months after that, it took exhaustive effort.

It was Nov '09 I flipped out at McD's. Perhaps it's safe to say Keep me away from whoever don't like me? Any why do ppl say Kyra didn't hurt me and that I did it all by myself? At Wal-Mart, Emily didn't be my friend from DAY 1, but I posted something about that earlier in this thread. Boy did that hurt. I just wanna ask my doctor, "Am I really Borderline as you said or am I just a spolied brat?" Brattiness is easier to cure than Borderline.