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Tue 1 Mar, 2011 04:33 pm
Hello everyone,
I am struggling with something and I hope this will help me. I have been seeing someone for 2 years on and off. We had a slight falling out that ended with us not talking for 4 months. A few months ago he got a hold of me out of the blue and asked if I would be into talking with him. I did meet him and he apologized for running away and that he loved me and we have been 100% full on and just happy in-love. We are both single parents, but for different reasons. I left my girls father 7 years ago because I didn’t love him. He left the mother of their baby boy because she was involved in a car accident and passed away 5 years ago. He continues to wear hers and his engagement rings on his left hand, pinky and ring finger. I was fine with this when we were just dating, but now that he talks about getting married and moving in I still see him everyday wearing the rings. We talk about his passed and he seems to be at peace with it, as much as one can be with a son for a daily reminder. I don’t know if I should say something. I mean, I don’t leave sleep over it. It’s other people who make comments to me about it that make me worry. Can any tell me if they have dealt with this before? Or know someone that has?
She didn't leave him, she died. Tell others to mind their business. Its just jewelry and it's a reminder of a woman he loved and lost. People are capable of loving more than one person. She's no threat to you. Let it be.
@Ceili,
Thank you for your answer... That's pretty much how I feel. I know he loved her so deep and she was taken away from him and his son. It's such a sad happening and I do respect it.
You two are talking marriage?
Time for him to take the one on his ring finger off.
@PUNKEY,
Yes we talk about getting married and moving to SC when we both graduate. We tell each other, I love You, everyday.
She died 5 years ago. You were in and out of his life 2 years ago - then back just 4 months ago.
Insist that he go to grief counseling.
Those rings need to come off before he is able to commit to another "life" partner. - IMHO.
Yes, I am sure he "loves" you - you are the here and now person.
How does he function all by himself? With no woman around?
@PUNKEY,
I have thought about askiing him to go with me to grief counseling, so I can also understand. This is all new to both of us. He dated other women before we met, he does fine when I am not around. He works 8-12hrs a days and takes care of his son, so not much room to not be able to function outsside the norm.
So you think I should say something to him about the rings? How does someone go about bringing that up?
Around here, there are 8 week grief sessions that you can attend. Each week has a theme.
One of the weeks covers letting things go/cleaning closets/ moving things/ etc.
I suggest that YOU not bring it up. He has to do this by himself.
@PUNKEY,
Thanks so much for the advice Punkey
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