ARE CANINE DATING SITES WHAT THEY ARE CRACKED UP TO BE?

The jokes are just getting worse . . .







This is great!

some of them have been pretty ruff, but never disapanting

She's been posting her name and picture everywhere http://yournewsnj.com/2010/12/09/what-does-quotkampfmottequot-mean-in-german/


Anybody here knows German send her an email

'Throw the dog a bone' has a slightly different meaning here.

I was thinking of some marketing ideas for doggy-dating products.

On a date, some colognes/perfumes could have some interesting scents and names.

'Eau de Wet Dog'
'Snausage'
'Dog Gone'
'Fetching'
'Bitch be Mine'
'Rollover Rufus'
'Doggy Desire'
'Canine Come Hither'
'Pick of the Litter'

Clearly, the list is endless

Endless?

What a depressing thought . . .

I can tell from your avatar that you are one cute canine! Do you have a nationality preference in canines or would you let any dog sniff you?

The dog whose photo you see allows almost no dogs to sniff her butt . . . she breaks out in her "evil weasel" face if they try . . .

She sounds like a classic tease. She wags her tail, devours his Milk Bones, then slams the pet gate closed behind her.

.......and then she has him extradited to face charges!

She will definitely steal food every chance she gets . . .

Wanted
A mature female who enjoys long, romantic walks on the beach and afternoon naps on the couch. She should not be one of those high strung terrier types or a demanding toy breed. The bitch I seek should be laid back, enjoy a good rawhide chew, and be willing to let me take the lead. I can offer her stimulating smells, interesting conversation, and a love of head-out-the-window car travel that does not include trips to the Vet or groomer. Although neutered, I am quite playful and still a puppy at heart. I am tired of the social scene at the park dog run and am ready to settle down and share my toys and treats with the female who will be the Lady to my Tramp. If you are looking for Mr. Right, are past the one night stands with immature studs, and are seeking a partner who can offer you fidelity, intimate nuzzling, and unconditional love, let's get together for a dish of kibbles and see if we can still chase some balls. Pedigrees and religious affiliations unimportant, but I would prefer someone from a non-smoking home.
Contact: Scruffy @ hotdog.com. Photo available upon request.

That's scary, FF . . . you're far too much into a silly satire . . . do you write personals for humans, too?

I only do that upon special request.

This is a special request

HOW HOW do I stop [email protected] from sending me PMs on this site??

I got some unopened ones
I just want him to STOP

That sort of thing is a little beyond my area of expertise, electronicmail. I'm really more conversant with the canine dating scene. But I can offer a suggestion or two, simply based on the kind of e-mail and SPAM I find in my own hotdog.com in-box.
1. It would be nice if there was a way of blocking unwanted senders from loading your PM message box with unwanted material. Like if putting someone on "Ignore" also blocked their messages from even reaching your box, or if there was a way of deleting their messages without having to read them. Since we can't do that at A2K, you might consider posting a simple warning, like this one which I use as my own personal SPAM blocker.

2. You could hire a watch dog to stand guard over your PM message box and keep those unwanted intruders at bay. For that job, I'd suggest someone appropriately menacing, with a definite no-nonsense attitude.

3. You could hire a shredder (the old fashioned non-electronic type) to dispose of all the unwanted PM messages you don't want to see.

4. You could send JGoldman10 a little cutie who would keep him so occupied and busy he wouldn't have the time, or desire, to send you any more PMs.


Personally, I like suggestion #4.

Sorry I can't be of more help, electronicmail. But, if you ever need any dating advice, my PM box is always open to you.

Take it somewhere else, will ya?

Is your bedroom furnished as you would like it? Is there room for two on the doggie bed? Do you want there to be? Or can I have my very own? How's the chow?

Do you like to go for walks on the beach? Do you notice snow? Do you notice trash cans? Do you like to run? Do you like to check out neighborhood yards? Do you insist on howling? Do you yip?

If you are a neutered male between 2 and 7 and not larger than a Puli, and don't howl or yip, please respond at 555-7842.

New In Town
Spunky, bright-eyed female, recently rescued from a shelter, seeks companionship for those lonely afternoons when owners are away at work. I have the full run of the house, a good sized collection of toys, and a soft queen-sized bed, all waiting to be shared with the right male friend. If you consider yourself a heroic Rin Tin Tin or Lassie type, with a sense of adventure, a readiness to play, and an appreciation of humor, you will make my tail wag with joy. Your age, size, and breed, do not matter to me, but intelligence and good manners are important-- there must be NO accidents on the owner's carpet and no chewing of shoes or excessive barking. If soft brown eyes, a cuddly coat, a sweet affectionate nature, and a love of the finer things in life appeal to you, let's have a play-date ASAP. I'll save you some steak scraps and have fresh chew toys waiting.
Reply to [email protected]

CANINE COURTING, Inc.
From the desk of: STUDLY
[email protected]

Dear Mr Setanta,
I have a bone to pick with you. Why are you demeaning the fair maidens of the canine set with comments like, "some hulking, drooling german shepherd"? How do you think insensitive remarks like that affect the females who might be reading this thread? Don't you think they have feelings? Are you some picky Dog Show judge? Are you looking for a date, or do you just want some blond Afghan who will be eye candy, a status bitch who will make you look better? Even worse, are you a puppy predator?

At Canine Courting.com we make every effort to carefully screen our applicants. We have K-9 undercover agents, known as the Pervert Patrol, answering suspicious posts, particularly those seeking playmates under the age of one year. These agents set up meetings with suspected deviant Web prowlers and then they nab them. And believe me, their bite is worse than their bark. Instant neutering, if you get my meaning. Just a warning, in case you had anything like puppy perversion in mind.

I am not sure I understand your question, "Are Canine Dating Sites What They Are Cracked Up To Be?". You fail to describe what your expectations are, or what you have heard about dating sites like Canine Courting.com.

If you are looking for some bitch in heat, for some quick one night stand, forget it. We at Canine Courting.com are committed to helping the kennel set find long lasting relationships. Our extensive lifestyle and personality questionnaires, developed by mutts who are direct descendents of Pavlov's dogs, ferret out the most essential similarities in potential partners to help insure perfect matches. We pride ourselves on our many testimonials, as well as the numerous litters that we have fostered. I invite you to read the positive feedback which has been posted on the Canine Courting Web site.

And no one would say, about any of our females, that, "She's a real dog--a nice personality, but a real dog". Our ladies are not mere "dogs", they are canine princesses, each a beauty in her own way, and each with her own charm and special attributes. We seek only the finest males to qualify as potential partners. I hope you have been exercising daily and have your teeth cleaned regularly. A trip to the groomer is suggested before meeting your match for the first time.

I think you will be satisfied with our dating services. If, after three dates, you have not found your ideal match, we will refer you to our own canine therapist to help you work out any relationship issues you might have. If you have any special needs--gay or bi-sexual preferences, for instance--we are happy to try to accommodate those.

Please feel free to address any additional questions you might have to me.

Sincerely,
STUDLY
C.E.O. Canine Courting.com

P.S. WTF is up with that other thread you started--"Do You Believe In Dog?"? That better be a rhetorical question. Remember, I've got my eye on you.

Remember Cheech and Chong's "Ralph and Herbie"

(sniffing) Whoa there's Fifi, she's in heat!

Man, that bitch is always is heat.

Hey Fifi! Polly Vu, uh, humma humma?