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Can CPS do anything about emotional abuse

 
 
Thu 24 Feb, 2011 12:45 pm
Last yr I wrote a post after my daughter started complaining about her stomach hurting. I believe the pain is caused by fear, anxiety and/or stress about going to her fathers. She’s 6yrs old
A lot has happened since then. She saw a GI dr a few times, who finally recommended her to see a psycologist. We saw one, and was told that it does sound like the pain is caused by anxiety and stress, but she can't say how. She was going to refer us to a closer therapist since her office is so far away. Haven't heard back, I called the other day but haven’t heard back yet.
I am extremely concerned that my daughter is getting emotionally abused. Examples:
Calling her names; he calls her a liar no matter what. Even if I tell him something he still doesn’t believe her. Even if it’s serious, like she’s hurt he doesn’t believe it (he made her take a nap cause he didn’t believe she was hurt when she had nurse maids elbow and doesn’t believe her when she or I talk about her stomach hurting
Forces her to eat; this is tough, but she ends up with stomach pains cause of him forcing her to eat. She’s also eaten here, then gone there and he buys her food and makes her eat it. Right now she refuses most food, and is an extremely picky. Her father told my mom and I how he made her eat the same mac and cheese for a month (until it was all gone)
He victimizes himself; tells her things about our relationship, makes things up, tells her how mommy is mean to him and how.
He also criticizes her and makes things harder for her because she has to do things HIS way. When she does home work he sits over her, corrects her for making mistakes, yells at her for not getting things right.
Uses me as a punishment; tells her if she cries I won’t call, that if she’s not good I’m going to get mad. Hes also yelled at her (the phone was muted but I was listening) for crying on the phone. She kept trying to tell him I didn’t say good bye and he was yelling at her I can’t be on the phone all the time and that if she didn’t stop I wasn’t going to call anymore.
Not giving her medicine; this has been ongoing. She ended up with strep and sinus infections in 09 and then had to have surgery last yr. He tells me he does give her medicine but I can see by how much she has that he didn’t.
Using her as a messenger
I have tried putting her in counseling, getting legal help, praying, and looking on the internet for answers. I recently called the Childrens Advocacy center to try to get her back into counseling. After telling her some things she told me I should contact CPS.
Can CPS do anything? I’ve found out that emotional abuse is hard to prove, and hard to do anything about. I want to help my daughter, but don’t want to start something that’s not going to be finished and that will end up causing more problems
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 15,309 • Replies: 13
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Butrflynet
 
  1  
Thu 24 Feb, 2011 01:44 pm
@alcmommy,
Have you gone back to court to get his visitation rights reduced or revoked?
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Thu 24 Feb, 2011 01:50 pm
@alcmommy,
Why are you so resistant to having your attorney take care of these issues for you? I checked all your other topics and the advice in each of them is that you need to contact your attorney. Why haven't you done this?
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Fri 25 Feb, 2011 01:27 am
Your child is old enough now to tell a judge that she does not want to have visitations with her father. But you need to get into court. Ask for a hearing ASAP.

alcmommy
 
  1  
Fri 25 Feb, 2011 08:22 am
@Butrflynet,
Last yr I asked for a modification on child support. I wanted to get a modification on visitation, but everyone I talked to told me theres no "substantial evidence", even though intake lawyers said I needed help. Which is stressfull cause I have yrs of emails and journals. I also never could get a lawyer, even though I tried legal aid numorous times.
So after being told to go after a modification on support (his ex) I requested one done. Which caused him to then try to get custody. Last yr we did a social study, and it was decided she was going to stay with me. All of my concerns and things were brought up. This time I was able to get a lawyer (she felt bad and is helping me). The social worker wasn't interested in my concerns, and instead of him having to get help, he's going to get more visits. Which I am trying to fight, but can't get ahold of my lawyer.
0 Replies
 
alcmommy
 
  1  
Fri 25 Feb, 2011 08:24 am
@Butrflynet,
I have. We are waiting on his W2s so his lawyer can draft an order. I am planning on fighting the extra time, at least until he gets help. But I can't get a hold of my lawyer... No Im just waiting. I tried to get her in counseling closer to home. But she said I should call CPS with my concerns
0 Replies
 
alcmommy
 
  1  
Fri 25 Feb, 2011 08:28 am
@PUNKEY,
Thank you. I don't want to stop visits all together, because I know she loves her dad and don't want her to feel he doesn't love her or anything like that. He needs help so he stops these actions. She needs help until he does so shes not suffering. I'm totally torn. I'd love to be selfish and say he shouldn't have visits with him, but I can't do that to her. I think in Texas you have to be 13 to tell a judge that, and then its still the courts choice
0 Replies
 
alcmommy
 
  1  
Sat 5 Mar, 2011 07:35 pm
@Butrflynet,
I can't get his visitation revoked or reduced. Theres not enough grounds to do that, or thats what I've been told. Though I have alot of things to comment on nothing its so serious that a judge will think its important to stop the visits. Frustrating when he causes nurse maids elbow then refuses to get her medical attention and doesnt give her medication properly causing her to get sick and need to have surgery. Not to mention every thing else (name calling, threats, ect), but nope thats not enough to step in and say something needs to change.

My lawyer now is trying to help me, but he is fighting for more visitation. I am putting her in counseling, which I hope will help her and with all the evidence of how stress affects her and causes severe stomach pain someone will say that the increased visitation isn't good for her. He lives about an hr from the school and wants overnights during the week. I think thats ridiculous cause of the longer commute, traffice, school zones and a new schedule will be to stressful on her.
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alcmommy
 
  1  
Sat 5 Mar, 2011 08:00 pm
@Butrflynet,
Honestly I have. I've tried to contact her so much I think she got annoyed. But like I said, she was waiting on his lawyer to draft an order, and he was waiting on the W2s. She emailed me a copy the other day of the visitation schedule which when I responded I told her how I disagree with the visitation he wants. She told me he wont budge. I've offered to compromise and let him have her for 1 extra overnight visit on his day off. That way we can see how she does and she won't be overly stressed by having a huge change. This will give her time to start seeing a therapist and hopefully be able to work through stress in a better way. Plus I've asked him to take a parenting/coparenting class. So if he takes that and learns anything then she will be much better off
stopemotionalabuse
 
  2  
Tue 21 May, 2013 01:40 pm
Yes, CPS can help. I am in the same situation. I have put kids into therapy. It is very sad how long it takes to get kids help. I believe our whole country would be a safer place if kids got help sooner. Your ex sounds like a narcissist. Keep showing your child how a loving parent acts and keep up with the therapy. Do call CPS. Be an advocate for your child. Even if it seems hopeless, you are at least showing your child that you are standing up for her. Kids are smart and know what is really going on. Don't speak badly of her father and don't worry about what he says. These terrible parents (men and women) may be able to fool some people, but the kids know the truth. Ignore all those ignorant responses from those who do not know, or maybe wouldn't care, how it feels when your child is being hurt by someone who should love and protect them! Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical. CPS does count emotional abuse and neglect as abuse.
0 Replies
 
mmtmom
 
  1  
Fri 11 Jul, 2014 12:09 pm
@alcmommy,
I am in the same situation and I have found NO Help! I have tried legal, domestic abuse services, counselors, and now my teen year old (started when she was 9) is depressed, has trouble sleeping, is totally manipulated and brain washed my ex husband (her dad). He tells her if she doesn't do the things he think she should do then she is "back stabbing him" and she stresses about it. it is an awful thing to witness and I have found NO ASSISTANCE. I have filed two CPS complaints; both closed with no investigation! If you find anything I'd love to know!
0 Replies
 
Lgraywolf
 
  1  
Sun 8 Nov, 2015 10:53 pm
@alcmommy,
I also live in Texas and my husband is in a legal battle to modify child parent relationship to get custody of his 14 year old. His ex wife had moved the case from one county to another, changed lawyers and now keeps postponing dates in the new county. Unfortunately, even though he is 14 does not matter. Still have to have a hearing and unless my husband can prove psychological abuse the judge may not think its in the child best interest for the change. It's up to us to prove that it is. I called cps and they told me unless the judge signed the order for temporary custody order and restraining order against her then most likely they won't find reason for an investigation based on that information. The judge did not grant the temporary order and we are still waiting for a court date for the modification. I tried calling cps 4 years ago for his 16 year old sister, then, and cps told me they wouldn't even open a case unless she called herself and told them herself. She told me she wouldn't out of fear of her mother not loving her anymore and fear of what her mom would do to ruin her life. It is ridiculous how parents can torment their children and no one does anything about it.
0 Replies
 
Bwood
 
  -2  
Wed 5 Apr, 2023 06:44 pm
I live in Wa State.
Im now in the middle of a dependency case. It is complicated So ill just touch on a very small portions . First off My wife suffers from a panic and anxiety disorder. And just prior to covid my wife and i had a little fight and cps had got involved due to a sister in-law calling them. So cps came out and and began
counseling my wife. At first i was thinking this was a good idea. However the state Counceller. began to insist that my wife and i seperate and divorce and so on. My wife and i do not want a divorce I am 54 years old and my wife is 52 we have been married 8 years and we have a son together that has cystic fibrosis . I have known my wife sinse 1975. to get to the point This counceler began to tell my wife things like . I was going to slice the tires on the family car. That i was going to cut the break lines on the car. and basicaly just scare the crap out of her and was extremely prejudice and badgering her to leave me and so on.
Towards the end of that case it was settleing down and about to close and this cps counceler began to set up another councerler to stop by once or twice a month to check in on things and basicaly give my family a little extra support and just sort of have a presence. Im self employed and work alot sometime out of town so i thought this would be a good idea as frankly it took some of the load off of myself with her personal things that get very messy for me like insisting she was taking her medicine or getting sleep or managine her stress. So one day the information came in the mail about this gal that was going to start checking in on my family and supporting and a friend so to say. I opened the mail to read about the person coming into our home ..... The councerler that the cps Counceller had set up to visit my family was a Counceller associated with Hospice . Lucky for me my wife did not know who hospice was I nipped that gal in the but from coming due to it adding even more fear and anxiety to our mental state.Covid hit and was rough on us all and stress became huge as we all feared covid and my sons sensitive state . and basicaly the bugs the cps counceler put into my wifes ears began to grow and she began to believe that i could be capable of something so grim . there were a few more issue the cps social worker or counceler had said in the realm of one of my sons micro toys stuck on a lamp in our house was really a bugging device . Now cps is involved again my wife sorta lost her head twice and believed i cut tires and brake lines. due to steep grade highways and a old vehicle she had to drivees she got into accident and family car was in shop.As i said now there is a dependency case going on and i had to accept a proxy cps attorney that had done me dirty and them quit and i just found out that my proxy cps attorney and that nutty counceler that scare crap out my wife and her are friends. This dept of cps in wa is so very corupt and i mean just that. there not afraid to lie manipulate it is absolutely unbelievable. And there is so so much more . I had my son enrolled in a private school and home school k 12 in the flue season due to his cystic fibrosis . they have enrolled him in a public school with 30 students not 11 and he caught rsv and was put into oncoligy at a local hospital the sickest he has ever been. they didnt even tell me they were putting him in school or the hospital im lost without my only son its been 9 months and a many more issues but ill get off my soapbox for now . what do you people think can be done if you were me?
izzythepush
 
  1  
Thu 6 Apr, 2023 03:51 am
@Bwood,
Bwood wrote:

what do you people think can be done if you were me?


Start a new thread about this, and leave spaces between paragraphs.

This wall of text is off putting, people won't read it.
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